As frequently happens when something throws me off balance a bit, I keep slipping back into fear, even though I continue to do all the things I do to stay balanced. In this case, it was my diarrhea and general malaise that threw me off balance and my fear is that my physical condition is getting worse. I have no indication (other than a vivid imagination!) that my physical condition is worsening, though that is expected, according to the doctors. I even know my fear to be illusory. My problems are real, the fear is not. It is also clear to me that when I ask the universe/God for help in dealing with my condition, I get it and that overall I will continue to be just fine, whatever that means.
Tonight the recovery meeting, not surprisingly, was about the many forms that fears take and how fears tend to run our lives, at times. I was reminded of how various fears use to run my life and I had a feeling of gratitude that those fears are now just whispers and that they have been replaced by love and faith.
