As a child I noticed that many of the adults around me (primarily teachers and parents at that point) preferred appearances to reality. They wanted things to look good and tended to look past things they did not want to see. I realize now that my observation was overly simplistic, but I have certainly used it to my advantage. I have seen the same tendency many times since then, with a variety of justifications or rationalizations. My concern, for me, is that the approach is not honest. When I began recovery I realized that I was striving to present myself as the perfect recovering person, not admitting the truth of who I was. I did that well, learning the right things to say and do! I then realized I was hurting myself and began trying to be honest, difficult but worth it. I still have to watch myself on that one!
