November 20, 2012
Today life feels like a lot of work, it just feels hard. Lots of dysfunction, pain and fear with many people. Fortunately Maria and I only have the pain and fear part. We are trying to be examples of peace, love and compassion, accepting what is and working with it. Several of my friends are struggling to overcome personal difficulties. Some have physical pain. The pinched nerve in my shoulder has not healed completely, so I still have a small amount of pain. On days like this, I just try to be aware of my feelings, and, taking a lesson from my Buddhist teachers, neither push the feelings away or attach to them. I just consider a day like this to be “trudge time” and let it pass.
Today contrasts markedly with the way I felt yesterday, and nothing has changed other than my attitude!
November 21, 2012
This was a neutral day. Fortunately, trudge time has passed, as it always does. The sweat lodge tonight was canceled, giving me some extra time, so I made a large batch of soup and relaxed more.
I spent the morning in various staff meetings, and was struck by the fact that other people conduct themselves largely based on fears of things like liability, judgment and responsibility. I do take steps such as knowing the laws and documenting my activities, in order to address the liability issue, but I also have the basic knowing that everything will be fine and that if I follow my guidance, I have nothing to fear. I follow the course of love and service and just figure that I will be taken care of.
