Healing

 

If you feel trapped by any circumstance in life - you just haven’t found the door yet.

I want to be clear that no-one I know of ever consciously chooses to be disabled or have physical problems so when I mention choices I don’t wish to imply that anyone chooses their problem.  What I am saying is that any life problem can be related to in a variety of ways and about that we have a choice.  We can optimize our options.  For example, I can be upset, resist and stew about my condition or I can work with it to minimize the impact of my disability on my life by exercising, meditating and relaxing.  I can also be grateful for how it has helped me with my spiritual and emotional growth.

It is important, first of all, to not treat your problem as your enemy and fight it.  Think of your problem as a partner and negotiate with it about how to alter your life in such a way that is mutually acceptable.

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Because there was no medical solution available, I started to learn about Attitudinal healing, the significance of unconditional love, and visualization. The progression of my disability stopped when I started my visualization. During the next several months, it started to reverse. Recovery was slow and very difficult, but I was getting better.

I began attending Attitudinal Healing meetings, and using visual imagery (I visualized walking, having smooth muscle action and I developed what I call a health meditation. I lost weight (20 lbs. initially now 20 more) and started exercising. Initially my exercises consisted of some modified Tai Chi in my bed since I could not stand and 0.3 miles on an exercise bike with no resistance. I went to occupational counseling, physical therapy and kept journals (dreams, meditations and day-to-day).  I began a process of self-exploration, self-awareness and change. I also began using biofeedback using a GSR-2 (mindgrowth.com) for relaxation and pain reduction. I was in constant pain and continued to need crutches for approximately four years. My learning was most intense during that period, though it continues today. After 4 years I began struggling to use a cane. My pain level was down fairly low, around a four, meaning that ibuprofen would take the edge off and let me sleep. To me, that was no longer serious pain.

Today (2023) I do a combination of calisthenics (push-ups, sit ups and leg lifts) and free weights. I also do a treadmill (0.5 miles daily), and exercise bike (5 or 10 min.). While I am exercising I focus on healing, love, acceptance, and keep assuring myself how good the exercise is for me. Sometimes in the morning and frequently during the day, I will work out with a handheld biofeedback relaxation device which teaches my body how to relax and heal. While doing the relaxation, I am in a suggestive state and I use healing meditations or imagery to focus on balance and coordination. When possible, I do these things or a variation every day. At other times, I do them a minimum of three times a week.

I ask for help and guidance, and meditate several times a day. All of these help me to get in touch with my higher self or the Higher Power in the universe (God) and it helps me to continue to clean out any negative feelings, fears, angers, judgments, or attachments. It is important to me that I get in touch with and overcome those things because they block my healing process and my ability to connect with God, the universe, and with other people.

I had a large number of complex emotions and ties to my physical condition that I had to work through in order to be free to change.  I also had to overcome my self-destructive tendencies. I was an active alcoholic and drug addict. I stopped drinking in 1985, about two and 1/2 years before I became disabled. I needed to move from a self-destructive lifestyle to a healthy lifestyle and that was very difficult for me. I took one (usually small!) step at a time. For example, I gave up processed food with added sugar, and soft drinks. As a result I have lost a great deal of weight. I eat carefully. Food was and is a hard one for me. I learned to take care of myself in other ways as well. For instance, I avoid people who are critical or judgmental of me. I avoid making my money in ways that I do not like, and I avoid doing anything that goes against my emotional or spiritual program. I have spent a great deal of time facing up to my own fears and judgments and in deciding what is best for me. That is not always what is easiest, in fact it is particularly not what is easiest. It is frequently difficult, but it is also something that I know is right and healing. Good examples are losing the weight, quitting coffee, and quitting smoking, all which I have done.

My current approach to life is described in fair detail in the book I just wrote and published Three Simple Questions: Being in the World, But Not of It.