Consciousness & Awareness

The east Indian holy man, Nisargadatta Maharaj, distinguished between awareness and consciousness, while I do not.  In his view, as I understand it, awareness, which is formless and is part of the Supreme, gives rise to consciousness, which is based on forms and concepts and is part of the mind.  In my view, awareness and consciousness are simply different levels of consciousness.  I take this approach because they feel the same to me, except that the consciousness at the level of the Supreme (what I call God), is a lot more intense and feels timeless, formless and real, while the consciousness of the mind feels transient and based on concepts.  It seems important to me that when what Nisargadatta calls the “food body” dies, that consciousness expands, is no longer attached to the body and moves to the God place.  Probably because of my cultural background, they each feel like love, with the Supreme feeling very pure, intense, timeless and formless.

No Single Cause

I find the belief expressed by Nisargadatta Maharaj, that nothing in the created universe has a single cause, that even the smallest event is the result of actions by the whole universe, to be very pleasing.  It is a belief that feels right.  I really like the idea of the universe acting in harmony in order to make things happen.  As an example, he makes the valid point that it would be impossible for a woman to give birth to any individual without the sun and the earth.  I also like the idea that if one can transcend the created universe and become one with the Supreme, that within that space, there is only the absolute with no causal relationships at all.  It all works, nicely.

Detachment

As I was speaking of it today, I can only get a feeling of deep, selfless, formless love if I detach from everything in the created order, and then focus my being on my awareness of the Self that exists as part of the absolute.  A part of myself that is totally free, not attached to anything material.  By detach I do not mean, to not enjoy or participate in, in fact I may enjoy those things more, but I do not hold on to them or try to make them something they are not.  For example my job, a spring day or just a breeze, are all very transient and trivial with regards to eternity, but also a wonderful part of the present.  They are “what is” and I take delight in that.

Speaking My Truth

Yesterday I spoke of being pleased that someone else was speaking about, and had experienced the emotional and spiritual strength she got from getting in touch with her essence, something I have talked about and experienced.  Similarly, but in my professional life rather than personal experience, it is nice to hear mainstream presentations on subjects I have been talking about for years.  These topics include the importance of things like spirituality, connection and love or the pitfalls of managed care and brief therapy.  Things that others talked to me about and I continued the tradition.  In the past, I have actually been warned not to talk about these things openly.  There is a strong feeling of validation and being home or connected when it happens that others speak of these things.  The validation and feeling of connection come from the realization that things do, in fact, change and it is nice to be part of that process.  I do need to speak my truth.

The Peace of the Essence

I was pleased during the meeting this morning that the speaker mentioned her use of mindful meditation and the importance of getting in touch with the peace and stability of her core  essence, her sense of “I am” and how much strength she found there.  I have certainly found the same.  I find love, peace and God within that timeless sense of Self.  Most of my worldly concerns just fall away, if I keep my focus there.  It is quite noticeable on the rare occasions that I lose my focus on the eternal and switch my attention to the temporary, illusory things - a good reminder of the discomfort I could experience.

Progress

A few days ago, I encountered and read part of a recent edition of Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, by Suzuki.  I was reminded that I first encountered, purchased and read an early edition of the book back in the ‘70s.  When I first read it, on the one hand I knew I wanted what was talked about in the book, and on the other hand, the book was just so much “word porridge”, I did not understand it at all.  Now I live it, and say many of the same things, in my own way.  Life is strange!
I think it important to note that through the years I have had several teachers, read a lot of books, meditated regularly and had a lot of life happen.  It has certainly not always been fun, pleasant or easy but I have always pursued truth.  My approach seems to have worked, so far.

Perfection

The concept of “perfection” has been on my mind since my entry “The Perfection of Being Human”.  In the human sense, perfection means no perceived flaws and in the God/eternal sense it means harmony with the universe, balance.  As I say on my website “The human concept of perfection is based on things like fear and guilt. It is flawed and harmful much of the time. In fact, I know of no situation where it is helpful, though it sometimes drives people through fear.  The concept causes people to drive themselves toward a goal that was generally set for them by someone else. The result is anxiety and negative feelings toward oneself. This concept does not help the individual, but it certainly adds to fear.”  The perfection that I encountered in “The God Place” is based on love and does not drive us, it simply feels right and promotes the integrity of the universe.

I Am

My life and the world around me is full of pain, chaos, uncertainty and transience, yet I feel joy and peace.  This condition has puzzled me and I have wondered how I could be so acutely aware of each.  I have come to realize that I am aware of the pain and chaos, but detached from them, and I have no desire to make it otherwise, they are simply what is.  I am at peace with life because I identify closely with the eternal, unborn “I am”.  I found that part of me by detaching from all of the pain and chaos around me and identifying with the love I found in the eternal, through the process of meditation.

The Perfection of Being Human

Many years ago I asked/prayed to see things and people in this world the way God does.  Some time after that I had a near death experience during which I was taken to the outskirts(?) of the other side and told “This is what it feels like to be here, you can go back and be of service but your physical condition will get worse”.  The important part was the very strong feeling of love coupled with approval of the human experience, while in the presence of that force.  That feeling of love was much stronger than anything I have experienced on the earthly plane.  My over-whelming sense of God’s view was that being human meant being perfect and having room for growth at the same time, a conflict in our view, but not while there.  My view now is that I can do no less since that is what I was shown.  Many people have said that the purpose of life on earth is to learn to give and receive love.  To me, this a very powerful example of that.

Overcoming Challenges

During the meeting tonight, there were a couple of topics floating around.  One was that things like worry, fear and self-deprecation drive many of the thoughts and feelings of most of us.  People confessed to worrying about things like not having enough money, the job ending or not being good enough.  I spoke up, laughing, and commented that I often had such thoughts and considered them as examples of being a silly, wonderful human, of not being “wrapped to tight”.  I also made it clear that I did not take such thoughts seriously.
I found it disturbing that I was welcomed as “one of the guys”, when speaking of my weaknesses and quickly left alone when I spoke of overcoming them, as if having weaknesses was supported and overcoming them was not.  Similarly, in early recovery, it was laughed about and clearly enjoyed as I discovered and began to work on my numerous, dysfunctional behaviors and ideas.  There was/is a good deal less enjoyment expressed, having overcome those challenges.  I must admit that it is very comfortable for me to continue with dysfunctional behaviors, much like continuing to be with an old friend, they are familiar.