Doing The Right Thing

I carried out an emotionally extremely difficult task today.   In addition to making use of my three questions (would I do this in front of God?; is my name really on it?; will this increase the integrity of the universe?), I asked for guidance and support throughout.  I feel very good about my actions, but I did not enjoy it in the least.  I had several opportunities to avoid the interactions entirely, which part of me wanted to do, but it always felt like it would “increase the integrity of the universe” more if I did it myself, so I did.  I could feel my connection with God through the whole process.  It was very good and extremely unpleasant at the same time.

Progress Not Perfection

There are many events that happen to me each day that I, quite literally, take no notice of at all, knowing that in the grand scheme of things, they mean next to nothing.  I simply go about my day sensing perfection and harmony.  There are other events that the biggest part of me realizes they mean next to nothing, but I still get twinges of involvement or interest.  For example, things like stories on the radio, financial matters, clients not showing up for appointments or my ego getting stepped on a bit by most people, make no difference to me and I truly have no emotional reaction.  On the other hand, when my ego gets stepped on by a few, select people, I get a twinge of a defensive emotional response, which I do not act on, but I take note of.  Progress not Perfection comes to mind.

Letting Go

The most important event of the day was a sweat lodge for a bunch (10+3 staff) of newly recovering, young addicts and alcoholics, with two being new to the lodge.  During the lodge preparation it was noticeable to me that no matter what I did (multiple pallets, vigorous fanning and wood), I could not get the stones hot, though I kept trying, just to be sure.  I began to realize that, for some reason, the coolish rocks were by design, that was the way it was supposed to be.  Because of the coolish stones, the first two rounds were relatively mellow, then people left the lodge and the stones heated up readily.  As a result, the last two rounds were fairly hot.  The whole experience was an exercise in the universe unfolding the way it should.  Understanding is not required.

My Bias

I have a very close connection with God and know certain aspects of God very well.  I need to keep in mind that what I know is perceived through my own bias/filter, something I can see readily in others, but not myself.  I can only perceive based on my own understanding and experience, no matter how open and unbiased I try to be.  My views and feelings about God are not totally unclouded by my own personality, though I work hard and constantly at increasing the clarity.  I can also only perceive certain aspects, like blind men each perceiving different portions of an elephant.  In this case, I cannot possibly perceive the whole.  I can be with God and absorb as much as I can.  I certainly do not feel bad about my limits, just aware.  As with most things, it is what it is.

Three Questions

There are three questions which I automatically consider when approaching any sort of action, they are:  a. would I do this in front of God (or whatever you call that power/force),  b. is my name really on it (or is it really my responsibility), and c. will this increase the integrity of the universe (or is this loving, acting out of love always increases the integrity of the universe).  If I can honestly answer “yes” to each of those questions, I go ahead with the action.  If not, I adjust my action until I can.  Today, it was the third question, about the integrity of the universe, that I needed to pay attention to, several times.  As far as I can tell, secrets, lying (even “white” lies) and gossip never increase the integrity of the universe.  Neither does so-called brutal honesty, since it is not really honest.

Healing

It is now Sunday and we had the lodge and I got a burn on Friday.  When I wrote about it on Saturday, I still had a scar, but no burn.  Now I do not even have a scar.  I have gone through the same sort of process, often quite a bit more rapidly, perhaps twenty times.  I have also physically healed from many other conditions, some of which were, supposedly, incurable, and others that should have required surgery.  I am constantly amazed by all of this.  To me, it illustrates the power of love, God and the mind-body connection.  I have also shown my techniques to others, with similar results and I am convinced that we are all able to do this sort of thing.  I am left to wonder just what we are really capable of, definitely more than I thought.  I will continue to explore.

Vision Quest

Maria, my wife, came back from a vision quest today and we had a sweat-lodge to welcome her back into this world.  The vision quest is four days and three nights with no food and limited water during which the person is alone in the wilderness for a period of solitude, contemplation and meditation, a period of time during which the person very highly focused on the spirit realm.  The quest also involves three months of preparation.  During the return sweat-lodge the returning person talks about their experiences before and during the quest.  The whole process is quite powerful.
During the first round of that lodge I touched one of the hot stones, causing a fairly large second degree burn, complete with blister, on one of my fingers.  At that time I noted the burn and blister, wondering how long it would last, since other burns in the lodge did not last long.  The burn was gone sometime before the end of the lodge.  Understanding is not required.

Staying On My Path

I was reminded today of just how important it is to approach living, growth and change from a position of awareness, willingness and truth.  It is very easy for any of us to stray off any sort of spiritual or life path due to some sort of distortion in our thinking, usually due to something internal.  Personally, I have two people that I continually who keep me on my path.  For example, the use of any sort of mind-altering drug, whether prescribed or illegal, can cause severe distortions in thinking.  Another example is that any sort of traumatic event in a person’s past can also cause a distortion in current day attitudes and behaviors.  A trusted teacher or guide can help a person navigate through the distortions, pointing them out and making suggestions.

Healing

I went to the healer I go to monthly today, a hands on medical intuitive.  He works on me for two hours with a healing touch capable of making physical changes.  When I do healing touch on others or assist him while he works on me, I work with energy and know nothing of any physical changes that take place, though some do occur.  He has a great deal of knowledge and experience concerning the physical condition of the body and he specifically targets physical change.  Personally, I am overcoming or have overcome several physical problems/conditions that traditional western medicine could not help me with, using the healing touch of each of us, combined with meditation, visualization and traditional health techniques.
Today, while meditating and assisting him energetically, I became aware of a small part of me that still considers my disability and speech impediment to be safe and dependable, a known value as opposed to what would happen if I had neither.  When I encountered that, I successfully released it.  On my way to healing, I have gone through that process repeatedly, with the result of allowing for more healing to take place.

Zoning II

I encounter my “Self” while zoning each morning. As various mystics and spiritual leaders have said, that Self is timeless, beginningless, endless, one with everything, formed of love and connected to the force that most would call God.  It is a wonderful feeling and a great way to start the day.  On most days, I can carry that feeling with me and interact with the world from that knowing.  Occasionally, but often enough to remind me of my humanity, I get pulled away from being Self and start reacting to the world around me in a fear based way, a very fine reminder of who I want to be.