A Loving God

Due largely to my “being with” God during periods of prayer and meditation, it is clear to me that it is not necessary to use any specific name when referring to God, I don’t, and it is clear that force/power does not care.  It also seems clear to me that God is not “hurt” or “angry” due to any actions or inaction of humans, like the many negative things that I have done in my past.  My sense and  experience is that these beliefs are personifications and God is not a person with a fragile ego, the beliefs simply do not apply.  I have encountered God as an overwhelming source of love and I find no need to define or describe beyond that.  If I choose to align myself with that loving power/force, which I do, it changes my life.  I will do whatever that power/force directs me to and that choice makes a difference.

Bubble Of Love

Because of my connection with God, or whatever you wish to call that power/force, I live within a “bubble of love” and my actions reflect that love.  On the other hand, I used to walk around in fear all the time.  Fear that the various events in my life would not turn out in specific ways or that other people would not think of me the way I wanted them to.  The fear was always there, a most unpleasant way to live.  I now, practice prayer and meditation every morning and carry the sense of love and well being with me during the day, a much more pleasant way to live life!

Loving Action

My experience is that actions motivated by love are honest and always increase the integrity of the universe.  By “love”, I mean an intense desire and willingness to devote oneself to someone else’s emotional and spiritual growth, with little or no thought to the personal cost of the action.  To me, actions motivated by love “feel right”, meaning they have the feeling of a clear mountain stream as opposed to the feelings around self-motivated or self-centered actions, which are more like the feeling of a turbid lake.  This includes actions that cause some short-term discomfort in the recipient and long-term growth, saying or doing difficult things, like speaking the truth to a child.

Growth

Whether it is myself and my own self-image limiting my growth, or some outside source limiting me, love allows me to expand and grow.  I know of no circumstances where things like judgment, criticism or harsh words, promote long-term changes in behavior, though they can certainly cause short-term changes, out of fear, which can be beneficial at times.  Personally, most of the tme, I am more interested in long-term or permanent changes in my attitudes and behaviors.  It is best for me to view myself as a perfect child of God who also has ample space to grow and change.

Overcoming

The biggest block to my own growth is between my ears, my own self-concept and beliefs about my own capabilities.  That block is also the hardest to recognize when it is operating and then to overcome it.  I cannot determine, with any precision, how that block is operating right now, partly due to the fact that it is clear that I am much more than I thought I could be and that I don’t know the limits to that.  Several years ago, I thought of myself as a recovering alcoholic with a problematic history and who was raised in a moderately abusive home.  As a result I had a low self-concept and had a a restricted view of my capabilities.  I have now, largely, overcome that view of myself and have expanded my views.

Maintaining Balance

It is easy for me to slip back into fearful thinking, which seems to pollute my view of pretty much everything in my life (self-worth, health, work I do with others, etc.).  All I have to do is go to a dystopian movie or listen to N.P.R. for a while and I begin thinking of all of life’s problems, rather than realizing that all I need to do is to stay present, ask for support and guidance, do my best and that I will be fine.  I have also learned through experience, that it is not necessary to believe anything when asking for guidance and support, meaning that this procedure carried me through difficult times, when I had no particular belief.

Differences

One of the differences in point of view between me and the general public, is that I now recognize, largely through meditation, that various processes like death, suffering, pain or getting old are vital parts of life.  I realize that they are simply events to be lived through, learned from and “appreciated”.  I also realize from ample personal experience, that resisting these events, makes them quite a bit more difficult to get through.  Another difference is that I have a pretty good idea of what happens after a person dies (expanded consciousness and existing within the Absolute), changing my view of death, knowing there is nothing to fear.

Different Point Of View

Two days ago, I attended a meeting of friends, sometimes called Quakers, a very pleasant experience.  It struck me that I really feel apart.  I was in a spiritually oriented group of people, and that was very nice.  However, many of them are “of” this world and I am not.  They are firmly planted in this as a reality, while I view it as a very temporary/transient part of the whole.  While being alive, we go through a variety of experiences, some enjoyable, some not, with the end result that we learn and grow.  What we call “karma” is learning all sides/aspects of any event.  We then carry the memory of those events as we learn to “give and receive love” as mother Teresa said, a wonderful process to observe.  At that meeting, I was very aware that my point of view is different from many people.

Healing

One of the activities I do each morning is to be with and feel the power/force of God, then, using intent and focus, funnel that power into my hands.  When I feel my hands tingle with that power/force, I use my hands to direct physical healing to specific areas or parts of my body, resulting in physical changes.  In my case, there is an obvious limit to how successful this technique is, since I continue to be disabled.  I do no know if this limit is inherent in the process or is imposed by me in some way.   However, I am doing well within my disability, have successfully used this technique with other problems and I have shown this technique to several others who have also found success with it.  I cannot say that I understand it, but I use it.

Being With God

As I said yesterday, the feeling of God that I have encountered, and practice being with every morning through my prayer and meditation, is a very strong, loving presence, without any opposing/matching feeling like hate or apathy.  For that reason, I and many others before me, refer to that feeling, presence or place as Absolute, as opposed to the world we live in, which is based on duality or dichotomy. In our world we understand pleasant because of the presence of its mate, unpleasant, night because of day, etc. It is hard to understand, but in the absolute there is no dichotomy of anything, no different sexes, separateness, race or social standing. Within the Absolute, what I know of as God, there is only an intense feeling of love, connection to all and total perfection.  My being with that feeling at the start of each day, changes my perception dramatically.