A Love Based Life

Today, I have been feeling a great deal of self-doubt over what seems to me to be a simple and obvious choice of living a life based on love rather than fear.  Having lived with both attitudes, I now prefer a life based on love, or am I just being delusional to even think I am doing that and why are so few others interested.  I am fine with my life as it is, and do not own or want things I do not have.  I observe other people destroying our world and hurting each other and I am good with their choice, while also wishing and doing everything I can to make it different.  I find it totally understandable that people (including myself!) do silly and addictive things and love those people anyway.  Sigh.

Understanding Is Not Required

Maria and I drove east of Flagstaff to the Twin Arrows area, south of the location of the casino to a ridge on Hopi land that had several ruins.  As we approached and Maria slowed the car, I, involuntarily, went into a state very much like, what I call, zoning or deep meditation, a trance state where I am more receptive to the spirit world and less connected to physical reality.  The reason for my shift in perception was not clear to me except that it was important and that I became more receptive to the information passed to me, very strange, but it has worked so far.  Understanding is not required.

Distractions

Conducting my day-to-day experiences from within love or with God, whichever way you wish to phrase it, is a wonderful, magical experience.  I wish all could have that feeling.  Unfortunately, having that feeling seems to require discipline and a willingness to resist some of the attitudes and activities that are promoted in this culture.  My personal experience as well as that of many others indicates that indulgence in the numerous distractions presented in this culture, like excessive material possessions and over involvement in drama actually detract from the growth of the seed of love or God.

Understanding Is Not Required

This was another busy day and during my morning meditation I, again, made it quite clear that I would need guidance and support, especially since I only got a few hours of sleep (plus a bit over two hours of deep meditation/zoning).  I slept quite well, though for a short time, waking without an alarm and feeling quite energized.  I did not realize that I was still being “Higher Powered” until that assistance left me this evening.  When the power left me all of a sudden I felt like I had been hit by a truck and just went to bed and slept a bit longer.  This life is strange!

Guidance & Support

Busy day.  During my morning meditation, I made it quite clear that I needed support and guidance in order to carry out my activities for the day and I got it.  I had several clients and received very precise instructions and guidance for working with each.  It was one of those days when I felt like I was acting in partnership with God and the results were quite remarkable.  In one case, I made it clear to my client that I was just doing what I was told, which he was used to, so he just felt amused, understanding and appreciative.  One of my other, newer clients exclaimed “this is weird” since it was obvious that I had prepared ahead of time, knowing the things he would talk about.  I just responded “no, it’s not”.  Overall, it was a very good day.

Healing

Today, I went to see and get worked on by the medical intuitive I have been going to monthly.  He uses his hands and intent to promote healing, primarily in my brain and jaw.  He expressed some frustration over the fact that I still have problems with my speech and jaw coordination, and I have to admit that I am impatient also.  However, as I noted later today, my walking, coordination, strength, jaw control and general mental clarity have all improved over the last few years, in spite of the prediction of doctors, so it could be a lot worse.  Being grateful rather than impatient feels like a better approach.

My Role

My role in life right now is clear; to spread the message of love and God I have been given, while continuing to “be the change I would like to see in the world”.  Previously, I have had my doubts about being able to pull that off without falling into the many ego traps within “money, power and prestige”.  For today I am past those doubts, quite a relief.  I will continue to ask for guidance and support, while doing my best, very simple.

Unconditional Love

At the Friend’s meeting two days ago I commented that it is not possible for any of us to turn our backs on God.  I later made the comment that I had certainly tried.  It is clear to me that God will accept whatever we do without judgment and still love us.  That feeling has been communicated to me directly and is my understanding of unconditional love.  I now carry that feeling with me and pass it on, every chance I get.  In the event that someone verbally attacks me or accuses me of  lying, I do not judge them or lash out at them.  What they say or do does not alter reality.

Guidance

This morning I reached out to another struggling person, a potential connection.  I also spent some time sitting with an injured pigeon, another connection.  Each interaction was very loving, fulfilling and selfless.  No thought was involved, just, what seemed to be, right action.  In the process, they each request of me that I be more than I am alone, without the guidance and support I get from the power or force that I call God.

Connecttion

Yesterday an injured pigeon decided to spend the night perched on a wheelbarrow just outside of our back door.  I was touched by the trust.  I also sent the pigeon healing energy as it settled in for the night.  Today, I sat with the pigeon for a while and sent it more healing.  I sprinkled bird seed nearby, as usual, and it ate and joined the other pigeons when they came to feed.  When they left, it stayed and returned to its perch on the wheelbarrow.  I am enjoying the connection.