Staying Focused

I find that I have to be very careful and disciplined to keep my focus on the Absolute of love, connection, inclusion and eternity, while also functioning in this transient, but very compelling world.  Things like work, staff meetings, listening to NPR and many newspaper articles tend to pull me back into a fear based transient existence, that many people think of as reality.  Those things also tend to draw me into becoming a human doing and to forget who I really am.  The prayer and meditation that I do each morning keep my focus on the Absolute of love, connection, inclusion and eternity, a much more awake and aware point of view.

Promoting Change

It is paradoxical but attitudes like criticism or judgment do not promote long-term change and growth in me while love and support do.  An atmosphere of love tells me that I am perfect and sufficient the way I am, but also promotes my growth and change.  Within that atmosphere I actually want to change and become a better person, become all I can be.  In the past, I have been criticized and judged to be very flawed, with the result that I felt negative about myself.  The criticism did not cause me to grow or change, which was its purpose.

Love Versus Fear

Today I was very conscious of the fact that fear, not love, rules the lives of most people, and used to rule mine.  I really like the way M. Williamson commented that “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we have learned here. The spiritual journey is the relinquishment—or unlearning—of fear and the acceptance of love back into our hearts.”  Through the socialization process while I was growing up I learned to fear many things like authority figures or not performing well enough.  From within that fear, no matter what I did, it was not enough.  From within love I am enough, a good feeling and one that promotes growth.

Listening

This was a day of listening.  After some early morning life activities like exercising and paying bills, we went to a Friend’s meeting, where I sat, meditated and contemplated for a couple of hours.  Then this afternoon we went out to some ruins in the Twin Arrows area, where I again sat, meditated and contemplated for another hour or so.  While at the ruin, I sat next to a juniper which seemed to want me to stroke and bless it, so I did.  Then, in typical Charlie fashion, I wondered if I was just imagining things and, in response, the tree wafted me with a strong scent of juniper.  I also sensed that the spirits around the ruin appreciated and were with us.  All in all, the day was a very pleasant experience.

What Matters

As I mentioned earlier today, there is a great deal of peace and harmony in my life today and conversely fairly little stress and drama.  In part my peace is due to my belief in what I heard early in recovery, that "nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all".  Not only do I find that to be true, but most of the people who I am close to and interact with daily, do as well, also adding to my sense of peace.  That attitude gets the ego and what the ego pretends is important, out of the way and then allows for more loving interactions.  A belief that most of life’s events don’t matter removes a lot of stress and fear.  Relationships, love and connection do matter and the focus of life can be placed there.

Acceptance

The importance of acceptance was a theme that kept coming up today.  I had not thought of it before, but acceptance is very important as the basis for a loving approach to life, an attitude or approach that increases the integrity of the universe.  I need to accept other people if I am to listen thoroughly and then begin to work with them.  I also need to accept myself and my current circumstances if I am to deal with my life.

Love Of God

I feel a strong love for other people, regardless of their situations, beliefs or what they think of me.  The source of that love is the force or power that I call God.  Part of that love is being with them and emotionally supporting them while they experience unpleasant things, similar to the way I have gone through the many unpleasant experiences in my own life, things like disability, physical pain or just life circumstances.  As Bach says “They are the stones on which you choose to whet the keen edge of your spirit.  Know that ever about you stands the reality of love, and each moment you have the power to transform your world by what you have learned.”

Staying Present

I had numerous interactions of various types today, which, overall, left me feeling lost and confused.  I stayed present and moved from one situation to the next well, but since they were all very different, when reflecting on the sequence I found it confusing.  For example, I was of service to two people, offering suggestions and advice, which will, possibly, go unheeded.  I also was worked on by the medical intuitive healer I go to and had some interaction with my wife.  I talked about the extreme nature of the book I am writing, the fact that it will probably not be a money maker and the likely difficulty I will have getting it published.  Toward the end of the day, I talked extensively about my past experiences and the current difficulties and limitations due to my disability.  All in all, the day was a good example of staying present and going with the flow of life.

Love In Action

The topic in my recovery meeting today was “fellowship” and, during the meeting, I began reflecting on how much help I have received from others in recovery and from non-physical helpers, like God.  All in all, it has been quite a journey, involving many.  In my case, the help began with the numerous people who gave me guidance during the initial part of my recovery journey, guidance that continues today.  After the meeting I was approached by, and provided suggestions and guidance to two people.  First receiving then giving and receiving, two fine examples of love in action.

Passing It On

The highlight for me today was connecting 1-1 with another recovering person, in order for him to grow and change spiritually and emotionally.  He realized that certain beliefs and behaviors that he was conscious of were holding him back from feeling at peace with himself and his life.  He also realized that he had other unconscious beliefs and behaviors that were doing the same thing.  I could certainly identify with both.  Not that many years ago, very similarly, I knew there were problems with my life, but I had no clue how to do things differently.  I needed some guidance.  It is now wonderful to pass it on.