Faith & Love

It seems important for me to face the activities of any given day with faith and love, rather than fear of consequences, an approach that is certainly more enjoyable.  If I think in terms of outcomes, I tend to gravitate to the negative and then worry about things to come.  On the other hand I can keep my attitude in the present, act the best I can, and assume things will work out, an approach that seems to work well.  Daily prayer and meditation helps me stay with faith and love.

Fear Versus Love

I recognize that the fear I spoke of yesterday is both very human and totally illusory vapor.  I look around me and notice that many (most?) people determine their actions based on a desire to avoid certain consequences, fear of those consequences.  That is something I have done most of my life.  I am now attempting to determine my actions based on love, selecting actions that will promote “the integrity of the universe”, a very different approach.  As I have noted before, taking actions based on love feels like a clear mountain stream while taking actions in reaction to fears feels like a turbid lake.  Love feels right and there is a clarity to it.

Fear

Today, at the Friend’s meeting especially, and during the last couple of weeks, I have been given a great deal of praise for my writing and ideas.  I wrote an article on “The Importance Of Connecting” for the Sun Paper, which several people have commented on and others have commented on my “Daily Journal” blog.  It may be strange, but deep in my gut a part of me screams “DANGER!!”, in response to the praise.  My belief is that I have used such praise in past lives to feed my own ego’s sense of power, and to dominate other people and then experienced negative consequences.  I do not wish to do that this time around.  As I said yesterday, I want people to understand and act on things like love, compassion, understanding and connectedness.

Limitations

This morning I was commenting on the fact that people respond with enthusiasm to those who can write or speak eloquently or even poetically.  I, on the other hand, cannot and/or do not choose to do that, I cannot seem to do that, even if I try.  My writing and speaking is very brief and not the least poetic.  I place all of my emphasis on the message contained.  I find that I am not at all sure that my choice is best in terms of reaching the largest number of people, but that is what I have been given.  I want people to understand and act on things like love, compassion, understanding and connectedness.

Listening

Today was a day of connecting with others, enjoyable, fulfilling and exhausting.  I employed my “deep listening” skills and was very respectful, understanding and compassionate with each of the people I met with.  I can readily see why people often utilize “distracted listening”, since this approach was a lot of work and required a good deal of focus, while distracted listening does not.  The approach I used was also extremely fulfilling and definitely “increased the integrity of the universe”.

Connection

Last night I led and participated in our monthly men’s group and this afternoon we had our last of six Friend’s (Quaker) writing group, which I participate in.  Each are small, very intimate groups with intense and profound connections.  That level of connection can be modeled and encouraged by the leadership, but ultimately relies on the participants.  I am reminded of the words of deCastillejo from Knowing Woman when she wrote "For there to be a meeting, it seems as though a third, a something else, is always present.  You may call it Love, or the Holy Spirit.  Jungians would say that it is the presence of the Self.  If this 'Other' is present, there cannot have failed to be a meeting."  That sort of group is a sacred occurrence.

Feeling The Feelings

Right now, I just feel loving and strongly connected, wonderful.  Earlier today I was falsely accused, then very angry and finally amused, due to my own anger at a person being them self.  We had a men’s group tonight and I spoke of the anger and that, of course, helped it to pass.  The whole process was a good example of being open to my feelings, talking about them and letting them pass, something I have, historically, not been good at, especially with anger.

Bubble Of Love

Yesterday, I spoke of the possibility of my own doubts and fears holding me back, a real possibility.  I did not yield to those doubts and fears yesterday and I will not today, a decision that feels very good and firm.  I am a very human voice for the importance of that power or force of love and God.  That power has changed my life and as I mentioned in the recovery meeting today, I now “walk in a bubble of love”, an incredible experience.

Fear

Once again today, I submitted a variety of my own writing for publication in the Friend’s (Quaker) newsletter.  Also, once again, I am experiencing all sorts of doubts and fears about what I have done.  My submission is a personal effort to push myself to be “out there” more, to increase my exposure.  As usual, I wrote about the importance and value of spirituality and love in my life, a message I would like others to hear and incorporate, in there own way.  Ironically, I also write about how fear tends to hold us back from being the people we could be.  The fear certainly does that in my case, if I listen to it!

Letting Things Go

Today I had a very strong sense that I was doing well but that I was involved in events with others that had some significance beyond this simple life, events that had some eternal significance.  Also that I need not even try to understand beyond that knowledge, that it was important to just do my part and then let it go.  As Maria said today, there is considerable relief in that knowledge.  I continue to “play my piano & sing my little song”, the rest is not up to me!  Life is good.