Impact of Love

It is quite clear to me that the thoughts and feelings associated with love have a profound and very real positive impact on physical things.  The, so called, “placebo effect” as well as numerous scientific studies and anecdotal reports make that pretty obvious, though often not acknowledged.  Personally, I make use of that impact daily.  Leading a life based on love rather than fear requires some work and discipline.  It is also clear that noone makes a profit from promoting that sort of life.  To me, it is well worth it.

Strength

The topic for my recovery meeting today was “strength”, something that has been frequently attributed to me in the past.  Certainly not the physical strength and prowess that I relied on in the past, before my disability, but emotional and spiritual strength, presumably because I have dealt with numerous challenges.  As I pointed out during the meeting, a great deal of my apparent strength comes from the fact that I realize that I am not in charge and that I regularly ask for guidance and support, a paradox.

Attitude

A shift in attitude such as what I have written about the last couple of days can make a tremendous difference in the way I feel about life.  Generally, I can view my life as a mundane and somewhat painful ordeal to be tolerated and gotten through, or I can broaden my view a bit and take delight in the process.  Either way, my feelings do not alter what takes place.  One approach is love-based and the other is fear-based.  Today I chose the love-based approach.

Empty Fullness 2

Today, I was gathering together the information needed to calculate my taxes, in preparation for sending it off for the actual calculation.  I was aware that I could certainly view the whole tax process as essentially meaningless government interference and control.  On the other hand, I could take delight in the process and view it as part of the “empty fullness” of life.  If I do the latter then tax preparation becomes as beautiful as the snow falling outside or the birds at my feeders.  I much prefer the latter view, seeing my glass as full rather than half empty or half full.

The Empty Fullness

I have been enjoying meditating today on what I call the “empty fullness” of life.  Appreciation for both aspects certainly adds to my enjoyment of the whole.  On the one hand, most of what goes on in life is meaningless, in an eternal sense; recalling that “nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all”.  On the other hand, I have been taking great delight in watching the antics of the birds at my feeders while also watching the gentle and beautiful snow fall.  It has been a very fine day.

Differences

I notice that people sometimes experience a mild impatience and irritation with me because I don’t seem to care about many of life’s little details that a “responsible individual” would respond to.  I am careful to pay my bills on time and perform other duties that would cause problems if I did not.  However, I do not care about things like material possessions, competing, looking good, wearing the right clothes or showing the proper respect to people because of their position.  I do care very passionately about love, relationships and connectedness; about those things I am very careful.

Acting Out of Love

It is quite clear to me, through my mystical connection and simply being aware, that we humans have done many things that harm each other and the earth we live on, things that do not increase the integrity of the universe or are not loving. In many ways, we continue to do those or similar things, often in the name of progress.  It is also clear to me that our actions are moving in the direction of integrity or love, albeit slowly and often hard to see.  That movement is not quick, fun or easy, but it is happening and I choose to be part of it.

Healing & Addiction

We had the beginning of a “family weekend” at the place where I get most of my referrals and, as frequently happens, I was reminded that addiction is a “family disease” having an impact on everyone in the family.  I was also reminded of the importance of love, support and connection for the healing process to take place.  I have accrued a great deal of information about the process of addiction, some anecdotal and some verified through scientific study.  I have found that without the presence of love, support, compassion and connection, the information means next to nothing in the healing process.

Vigilance

My recovery meeting today was about “vigilance”.  I commented that, for myself, the actions didn’t feel like vigilance - that they were simply part of my daily activities not something to struggle with or force myself to do.  I need to recognize things like getting older, being an addict/alcoholic, being disabled and having an active mind that can sabotage me.  Having recognized those things, there are actions I can take like daily exercise, staying away from addictive substances and meditating.  I have learned that if I do those things, I get to have a joyful and fulfilling life, if not I get pain, suffering and death; pretty simple.

Healing

During my recovery meeting today I reflected and spoke on the early years of my disability, when my physical condition was much worse.  Then, this evening I have been revising parts of my website, also reflecting on the many physical, emotional and spiritual changes and growth over the last twenty-seven years.  I am pleased with how far I have come and the person I have become, not bad.  I have had a lot of help and made a lot of meaningful connections along the way.