A Different Approach

I went to the movie "Concussion", starring Will Smith today and found myself identifying very strongly with the doctor who discovered the significance of head trauma. He ended up bucking the power and financial control of the NFL. In my case, I keep emphasizing the importance of love, connectedness and inclusiveness which is counter to individuality, competitiveness, short term and material gain at all cost. The reason I take my approach is that I have tried both and find my current approach extremely fulfilling and it does not result in destroying each other or this planet.

My Contribution

This morning the person I was talking to made reference to the chaos and destruction going on in the world and I responded that I felt peaceful inside. I attempt to carry that feeling of peace, love and compassion with me all day. Later on this morning I also commented that I will do everything I can to share and propagate that feeling, a small and large thing at the same time. I am only one person but I can do that, actually I can do no less.

Loving Connection

This was a very enjoyable day, a day full of loving connections and increasing the integrity of the universe. The day started with setting up for & then attending a recovery meeting, complete with numerous interactions before and after the meeting. That was followed by leading two therapeutic groups and multiple e-mail exchanges. There was a strong feeling of deep connection in all of the activities. Not bad for a guy that used to be isolated!

Resolutions

Today, as in years of the past, I kept hearing about the idea of making resolutions to make my life better & the fact is that I tend not to make them. My approach is that through my daily meditation practice I become acutely aware both of the changes I could make to improve my situation, and my resistance to making those changes. For example, I became aware that for weight and health reasons I would be better off eliminating the chocolate bits from the trail mix that I snack on during the day. I was also aware that I enjoyed the sweetness and taste of the chocolate & did not want to give it up. I have added dried fruit for sweetness and eliminated chocolate, a good compromise that is working.

Doing The Next Right Thing

This was a day of getting things done in preparation for taking a trip back east to Baltimore. I took the time to exercise, rest & eat but also just moved from one task to the next. I felt impatience creeping in and also fretting at moving too slowly. I simply kept reminding myself to do the "next right thing" and kept moving. It is now time to meditate and be at peace. I will be away for a few days.

Connection 2

Today was a day of valuing and being grateful for the numerous connections I have with other people. At this point in my life I love pretty much everyone & have no people that I consider enemies, though some that I would rather not be around. There was a special Christmas-eve gathering for worship tonight. I noticed that I wanted to be with the people, not for Christmas, which I do not celebrate because of commercialism, but for connection and love

Connections

Connections of all types and being with social groups are very important to me, as are periods of solitude. I need both to feel balanced, usually daily. In terms of different types of connection, I enjoy being alone in various "wild" natural settings and I also enjoy the trees and birds in my own backyard, which is "tamed" and in the city of Flagstaff. We have a variety of social groups we are part of and connecting with people, experiencing different levels of intimacy is very important. With all of that, my alone time becomes extremely important. The balance keeps shifting, but is always rich.

That Force 2

I went to the new Star Wars movie today and, as I commented to Maria, found it mostly silly and very enjoyable. It also strikes me that the ideas behind the "Force" are at least partly true. In my experience, there is a genuine healing and very positive power in love, empathy, connectedness and compassion. There is also a very enticing and destructive opposing force. I have felt and made use of each force or power. I have found the power in love, empathy, connectedness and compassion to be much more rewarding and fulfilling.

Acting Out of Love

Today I performed several activities in order to promote my book and definitely felt "out there". When I perform such activities there is an old, family or origin part of me that shouts "you will be punished". On the other hand, there is a love-based part of me that simply feels that I am doing the right thing and that everything will be fine. I wish the fear part of me would go away or at least be silent. I will continue to act on the love-based side and not "feed" the fear.

Sorting Time

Today I didn’t do anything remarkably different but I began to feel overwhelmed by life and realized that I just needed time to sit, contemplate, meditate and sort. I just needed sorting time. This morning I set up & then attended a recovery meeting. I then led a group therapy for some young recovering addict/alcoholics and, after that, went to a Christmas party. There was a lot of social interaction throughout. Tonight I just sat & sorted.