That Force - Love

It is clear to me that the important objective in life is not what words or names a person uses, but for us to act and live out of love. The words and names vary depending on influences like religious discipline, culture and history. The feeling and attitude of love does not vary in spite of variation in the words and names. Through my prayer, meditation, contemplation, a near death experience and numerous living experiences I have come to know how right it feels to act out of love, compassion forgiveness and inclusiveness.

That Force - God

The life process I have been through amazes me. It actually feels like I have been taught and trained very carefully. Through my prayer, meditation, contemplation, a near death experience and numerous living experiences I have come to know a very powerful, unconditionally loving, selfless and egoless force that, at this point, I would be foolish to deny. I cannot say that I understand that force or even want or care to. I have heard it said of that force many times that "there is something out there", an acknowledgment which seems to be adequate for leading a love based life. I now call that force God, a word that others do not use, which makes little or no difference to that force. The fact is that force or God truly embraces the human experience and free will. This is not a personified jealous God/force who judges me, considers me to be sinful or pitiful or requires any sort of obedience. These last concepts are human and do not fit within love.

Life's Difficulties

My life is very good and, as someone pointed out today, my life has also been very difficult, challenging. It is commonly the case that the good part follows the difficult. In my case my physical challenges have pushed me to develop my spirituality far beyond what I would have done or what most people do. Having just gone through my 31^st anniversary of recovery from drugs and alcohol, I have been reflecting on my process for the last several days. I really like and am proud of who I have become.

Small Quiet Voice

We all have inside us a very good, love-based, compassionate, forgiving part that is frequently called that "small quiet voice" and I usually refer to as the "God seed" in each of us, the part that is connected to what I call God. We also have the potential of acting according to that part, which is why I wrote Three Simple Question: Being in the World, but Not of It. The book is part of my attempt to encourage others to act out of the God seed or part. I am working on living and acting according to that part. That part of me is essentially egoless, very loving and oriented at the well-being of others and this planet.

Life Happens

Today was my 31 year anniversary of being free from alcohol and drugs so one of the feelings I had today was extreme gratitude. One of the other things that happened today was life, meaning that I encountered a number of challenges. The first challenge was early this morning trying to explain and resolve a problem over the phone, something which seldom goes well and that I find extremely frustrating because of my speech impediment. In this case I eventually asked my wife to help out and the problem was resolved - I think. Later on today I went to see my primary care physician, who makes an effort to be holistic but is still allopathic so she thinks in terms of pathology, prevention and potential harm. I think in terms of health, love and potential well being. In terms of physical health and given my disability, I am doing well, which she acknowledges. Part of my success has resulted from not accepting the allopathic approach to health.

The Presence of That Force

On the 11^th I will have been in recovery from drugs and alcohol for 31 years, as long as I drank. As usually happens around my anniversary, I have been reflecting on my life for the last 31 years. One thing that really stands out to me is that I would be very foolish and "unscientific" to not acknowledge the presence of some sort of universal force that I now call God.  The fact is that I have had my life saved twice in miraculous ways, had several cuts, burns and physical problems healed and have experienced several miraculous life events, all with no logical explanation. I don’t pretend to understand that force, but rely on it daily and know it exists. I also have no problem turning my life and will over to it.

Staying on Track

I "play my piano and sing my little song", meaning I am one simple man doing my best. I attempt to take action according to the questions I outline in my book (would I do this in front of God?; is it really my responsibility?; will this increase the integrity of the universe?), simple questions that are difficult to answer. My daily practice of meditation and asking for guidance makes it possible for me to stay on track.

Faith

The topic for today’s recovery meeting was "faith" and, as a result of my reflecting on the topic, I have realized that I have a very deep faith that everything in my life will be just fine. I also realized that I haven’t the slightest idea what that will look like and that I very possibly won’t like it. I come to those conclusions because of my own history and observation of others. For example, I don’t really like my disability but also realize that it could be a great deal worse and that dealing with it has pushed me into a spiritual and loving life that is wonderful beyond my imaginings. The rest of my life is much the same - if I pay attention.

Silly Human

Tonight I found myself chuckling a bit at my own foolishness. What happened revolves around a person in my life where there is friction between us, which, I believe, is caused largely by his reaction to me. Today it was suggested that I do a daily "loving kindness" meditation toward him, meaning that I visualize him, send him love and support and wish him a loving, wonderful and very fulfilling life. I actually have done that but only periodically and when the mood struck me. The part that I was chuckling about is that when she suggested I do it daily, I felt immediate resistance and also a knowing that it was the right thing to do. I recognize and even have some fondness for that resistant part of myself, but I generally either don’t act on it or apologize when I do. I began my daily practice of the meditation tonight.

Following A Spiritual Path

As I have pointed out many times, when I got into recovery I had no intention of changing my focus to spiritual growth. Life circumstances took me in that direction. I had been following a path of increasing intellectual achievement and material acquisition, a path I have de-emphasized since it did not result in the fulfillment I was seeking. I still enjoy intellectual achievement and material possessions but I find fulfillment in my spiritual practices and sense of love, connectedness and inclusiveness. As a result, my interactions with people and this planet have changed dramatically and I think that others could benefit from a similar change.