Trusting The Process

Events are unfolding that support Maria’s & my notion of moving back east for health reasons and to be of service, primarily to carry the messages of love and spirituality. For example; we wanted to sell our truck & we now have five people that want to buy it, we needed to sell our house and a couple approached us wanting to buy it and it has now become clear that we are to move to MD near Maria’s mother. I have also been concerned about finances and it turns out that her siblings may help, if necessary. The message I get when I meditate is to pay attention, trust my intuition, be grateful and continue to float down the river of life.

Life And Change

I have a very strong tendency to view the coming changes and move as potential chores or duties, like going against the current of the river of my life. In fact, much of my life has felt like a chore or challenge. It is best for me to realize that my own internal conflicts were the reason that my life was a challenge and that overcoming those conflicts was my growth. If I let go of those conflicts the coming changes and move become adventures that are exciting and fun. I just need to pay attention, be grateful and float down the river, enjoying the scenery.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is part of the way of life that I am promoting. I have been wrongly treated many times in my life and I don’t want anyone to feel the way I felt at those times. Part of me wanted revenge but I have also come to realize that "hate and anger corrode the container they are in", so in order to attain relief I needed to move toward love and peace, not violence. It has helped me to realize that people don’t hurt other people unless they have been hurt themselves. It has also helped to realize that we all contain a God/love seed or part and we can learn to act from that part. Acting out of love feels a lot better than acting out of anger.

Power Of Love 2

Because of the facts I spoke of yesterday, I am promoting a way of life that emphasizes the importance and roles of spirituality and love. In my case I changed my focus from worldly things to spirituality and love with the result of greater fulfillment and changes in the way I treat other people and things, which is why I wrote my book. As I indicated yesterday, a focus of love impacts on what we know as reality. It now seems likely that I will be promoting that way of life back east around D.C. and MD where the emphasis is very different, and that makes me uneasy.

Power Of Love

I am very much aware that I need guidance to sort out and then put into words what is really going on in day to day life. Initially I learned about the power and importance of love through my own meditation, the comments of various spiritual leaders such as Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj and similar comments of early mystics and religious leaders. More recently I learn of the same attitudes and ideas through quantum physics. It is quite apparent that various forms of energy such as love or fear underlie what we consider to be physical reality, what Conrow Coelho calls "the plenum taking form". Long standing spiritual beliefs and now science are saying the same thing, that the underlying energy impacts what we know as reality.

Split Wood, Carry Water

Today was a "split wood, carry water" sort of a day, meaning I just carried out the daily tasks that were in front of me. I did my exercises, went to a recovery meeting, did a lot of necessary paperwork, did some weeding and took a nap in the middle of the day. I was very aware of some discomfort due to being in transition regarding much of my life and some depression and sadness from grieving my sister’s recent death. For me it is a time of doing the next right thing, plodding forward.

Forgiveness 2

When I commented yesterday that from an eternal perspective there was nothing to forgive, what I meant was that looking at life through the lens of unconditional love the hurtful, destructive and negative actions we do are a part of our growing towards love. From a human perspective, the act of forgiveness is very important. In my case my father beat me and expressed his rage toward me as a child. As an adult I went through a lengthy and very important process of becoming aware of the impact of his anger on me and finally forgiveness, realizing that he did the best he could. On my last visit with him I felt only love and, from within that love, I realized that there was no need for forgiveness.

Forgiveness

Through the process of being alive and growing towards love I have done many hurtful, destructive, negative actions toward myself and others. I have also experienced those actions being done to me. I have gone through a process of first becoming aware of those negative actions and then forgiving them. Those actions were simply the product of doing my best at the time, and not knowing better. Finally, using the idea of "Eternal Perfection" put forward by Williamson and my own similar meditative realization, I have become aware that there is nothing to forgive, we are all humans doing the best we can.

Life 2

Today was a quiet day of grieving for the death of my sister and recovery from a draining weekend. My sister had a cardiac arrest a little over a week ago, was in a coma and died a few days ago. I suspect that her spirit is now glad to be free of the constraints of a physical body. It is time for me to feel the loss. I have felt angry, sad and a bit depressed, not particularly pleasant but part of life and it’s good to be alive.

Connections

I just got back from the retreat weekend I led. The weekend went very well & I am exhausted. I will be taking it easy for the next few days. The theme for the weekend was "connections" and we also talked a lot about the possibility of my moving. I used a variety of exercises from my book to give them experiences of connecting to everything and everybody. We worked with everything from grains of sand and shell fragments through birds and other living things. Everyone cooperated and many wonderful things were experienced.