Life of Prayer

Today was Christmas, a day to celebrate Christ’s birth, which I do. Having spent a good part of the day socializing and talking about technology, food, work, cars and weather I have to admit that I feel lost since those things mean little to me. I keep talking about, living and contemplating love, connection, eternity and the Absolute. I am reminded of the words of Thomas H. Green, S.J. "The life of prayer is perhaps the most mysterious dimension of all human experience. We come to be at home with a God we cannot see. We discover that it is only by giving ourselves away totally that we truly come to possess ourselves, that we are most free when most surrendered. We begin to realize that light is darkness and darkness light. We become lost in a trackless desert — and then, if we persevere despite our disorientation, we begin to realize that it is only being lost, in losing ourselves, that we are found. The whole of our life and not just our prayer life, becomes a paradox, an apparent contradiction concealing and revealing a deeper truth, because we begin to realize that we must live as we pray".

Love Versus Fear

Given my comments and the quote from Mother Teresa yesterday, I have to say that I even love our president elect. I delight in his antics and comments, realizing at the same time that he is in a position to cause a great deal of hurt and even destroy the planet. He has done and continues to truly stir things up causing a tremendous backlash of love and connection. He is certainly "unreasonable, illogical and self-centered", at times, as I have been. My hope is that the backlash of love and connection will prevail in the end. Love is, after all is said and done, much more powerful than fear.

Forgiveness

A couple of days ago I spoke of myself as being an "old man", which I am (68). I also commented that I’m "not nearly as old as I hope to become" and, by today’s standard, I’m not that old anyway. At any rate I have been "up, down and around" a few times. I have done many silly, hurtful, very human things while trying to do my best. Given that, I am not likely to judge anyone. I have long appreciated the comment by Mother Theresa, that "People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you’ve got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, It never was between you and them anyway.

Peace 2

I am now an old man, though not nearly as old as I hope to become. I have accomplished many things, hoping that they would fulfil me. Nothing did until I found out about prayer, meditation, unconditional love and the eternal Absolute. I now identify with the comment made by Thomas Dubay, S. M. When he wrote "The unending yearnings of the human spirit are satisfied by nothing that can be measured, seen, heard or touched. To focus selfishly on anything in the created order is to be restricted and thus to fall that far short of full freedom." I have found peace and fulfillment.

Peace

The other day I spoke of viewing "the world’s events through the Absolute lense of unconditional love", which I do. I have spent the last couple of days involved in the final preparations for moving in to my new home, with Maria. As usual, I have been meditating and contemplating a lot and I feel a strong sense of rightness and peace around the move. My feeling is described very nicely by Dubay, S.M’s. comment that "He should learn to remain in God’s presence with a loving attention and a tranquil intellect", even though this seems like idleness to him. Soon he will find little by little that a "divine calm and peace with a wondrous, sublime knowledge of God, enveloped in divine love, will be infused into his soul", a good feeling.

Mystical Touch

Maria and I attended the Friend’s annual Christmas pageant, a nativity celebration put on by children of various ages, very moving. During much of the ceremony I felt the powerful presence of the loving force I call God. As Dubay, S.M. puts it "A mystical touch is a deep, intimate contact-union-experience of God in one of His attributes such as power, light, goodness, beauty, or joy." I was reminded of a similar feeling and experience I had many years ago while attending a Native American Sundance ceremony, also very moving. I doubt that I will forget either experience and I feel deeply grateful for each.

Becoming

Today was a quiet day, a day of freezing rain, ice, staying indoors, resting and meditating. During my meditation I was very aware of how different my outlook on life is from that of most people. I view the world’s events through the Absolute lense of unconditional love, meaning I can be at peace and enjoy the antics going on around me, while also seeing their self destructive nature or recognizing that we are destroying the planet. The fact is that I have done many foolish things in my life and now choose differently. In many ways we are all kids in a sandbox learning to be decent, loving humans.

Connection

For me the highlights of the last couple of days have been the periods of connection before, after and during the Friend’s and recovery meetings. This time of year I do not by gifts, cards or support the commercial aspects of the season. I do support the love and connection aspect now and through the year. I am also involved in unpacking boxes and setting up our new kitchen - trivial but enjoyable.

Mixed Feelings

Maria and I have now had the big items moved into our new home and we are now unpacking boxes. The technicians come on Monday to hook up our computer to the internet and set us up with a land-line phone. So, the final actions of the moving in process are finally happening. On the one hand I will be very glad to leave our current living situation at my mother-in-law’s house. I want my privacy, quiet, solitude and my own office and kitchen. On the other hand I will miss the family atmosphere and constantly being around my ninety-one year old mother-in-law. It’s good to have mixed feelings and it is time to move on.

Spirituality 2

For the last several years because of age and life experience, I have changed in the direction of love and spirituality. The change I have gone through was described very well by His Holiness The Dalai Lama when he wrote "Spirituality I take to be concerned with those attitudes of the human spirit----such as love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony----which bring happiness to self and others.......Thus spiritual practice according to this description involves, on the one hand, acting out of concern for others’ well being. On the other hand it entails transforming ourselves so that we become more readily disposed to do so." The change has led to a wonderful life which I wish to share.