Choice

Recently I have been encountering people who are committed to and emotionally attached to their material possessions and, as I have come to realize through mu meditation, that is completely fine. The material possessions bring them satisfaction and a feeling of completeness. I need to realize that, in addition to that situation being fine for them, it is not for me. I found fulfillment from material possessions and intellectual achievement during part of my life and still enjoy them. I now take a small amount of pleasure in the material, recognize those things as transient, let them pass and focus primarily on the spiritual. As was stated by Marsh "If you choose to center your life in Divine Radiance, two things can be pretty much guaranteed. One, life will not be as simple as it could be if you had chosen another way. The Spirit-centered life has little in common with ‘Business as usual.’ Two, there will never be a dull moment. You will see the colors of music, hear the songs of color and be blessed with magic people.   A fair trade I'd say."

Limitations

Within limits, I keep pushing myself and trying to do more, a complicated effort since I am disabled. Today I rested on a hot pad for most of the day since I an experiencing some sciatica and have a substantial amount of pain. I have always enjoyed the comment by Sawhill that "To attain excellence, you must care more than others think wise, risk more than others think safe and dream more than others think practical".

Expectations

I often find myself wondering just what I am capable of. As I pointed out the last couple of days, I have already gone beyond the expectations of the medical community and myself. I am now in uncharted waters, which I am not entirely comfortable with. LeShan expressed it well when he wrote "Reality is only partly our invention; it is also partly our discovery. Our task is to discover how much and in what areas which is which; and then to determine how much new freedom this gives us and what we can do with it".

I am 2

Yesterday I wrote "On a much deeper level I am a child of God/love and I conduct my daily life in partnership with that power. This latter is viewing myself as the eternal 'I am' and gives me abilities and awarenesses I did not know I had." I have learned a great deal about my increased "abilities and awarenesses" through my disability and interactions with various experts, therapists and doctors. Typically they tell me what I cannot do, I then go way beyond that and they then tell me that what I am doing is impossible given my diagnosis or physical limitations. They then look for explanations from within the confines of their training and find none. I move on in my own life while watching this scene play out and trying to not hold myself back based on their understanding. I always keep in mind the words of Williamson when she wrote "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I am

Today I have been reflecting on who I am and what I am capable of. My capabilities, to some extent, are determined by how I view myself. On a very superficial, public level I am a highly trained and educated therapist. On a slightly deeper level I am a very stubborn and determined "adult child of an alcoholic" and an alcoholic. On a much deeper level I am a child of God/love and I conduct my daily life in partnership with that power. This latter is viewing myself as the eternal "I am" and gives me abilities and awarenesses I did not know I had. This view is summarized nicely by the words of Claremont deCastillejo when she wrote "Great deeds can only be achieved when we are more than our little selves. When we are lent wings we should not reject them."

Meditation

I use a lot of meditation or contemplation to determine the best path or choice for me to take for most of my actions. I consider meditation to be any thoughts that quiet the clamoring of my intellect, generally with eyes closed and on a specific topic/question. Contemplation is similar but generally with eyes open and for nothing specific, just wandering thoughts. What I’m looking for is a feeling of clarity in my guts in response to my best choice as opposed to a feeling of murkiness. For example, right now I am planning a plane ride across the country followed by guiding a spiritual retreat in Mexico. There are several associated questions and options like the best flight to take and subjects for the retreat.

Holistic Health 2

The most significant event of the day was going to talk to the surgeon about some upcoming surgery for an inguinal hernia I have. It is still difficult for me to blend allopathic medicine with my holistic attitude. The medical profession thinks in terms of pathology and the prevention of negative outcomes. My emphasis is on health, healing, love and working toward positive outcomes. Both approaches are valid just difficult for me to blend. As in the past with similar surgery, using my techniques I suspect recovery from surgery will only take a few days.

Holistic Health

In 1988 I was diagnosed with a chronic, degenerative neurological disorder and told that I would never improve and probably continue to get worse. Since then overall I have gotten quite a bit better in most ways and there are some aspects that have gotten worse, though that could be because I am approaching seventy. People in the medical profession have told me that what I am doing is impossible. I do not fight my disability or treat it as my enemy. I "join" with it and consider it a life challenge and partner that has something to tell me. I then meditate and contemplate on ways to live my life in ways that reduce the impact of my disability. I also fill myself with love and visualize a healthy body. My assumption is that I either know or will be provided with the information I need. My process has definitely worked for me!

Spiritual Path 2

I know that I am on a spiritual path and I value that above all else since the rest of my life, which is wonderful, depends on it. I spend a good part of each day meditating/contemplating to ascertain my guidance and support, the next right action. I can’t say that I experience the "dry periods" that I hear others talk about, periods of no guidance or contact. I do experience feelings of being lost and groundless, like today. Those feelings come when I am experiencing a lot of growth and am in areas that are not familiar to me. Today and recently I have been taking some of the final steps of shutting down my business, which has supported me for the last several years. I am un unfamiliar territory and know it! I keep moving forward because of trust and faith - I know this is my path.

Spiritual Path

Maria, my wife, and I attended a small group meeting of Friends to talk about our personal experiences with our own spiritual development. The connections, openness, and honesty were wonderful. I took exception to the comments of several people that daily, "mundane" duties like childcare, housecleaning or tax preparation were not part of spiritual development by saying that all aspects of life are part of that development. I also spoke of the point I make in my book that each of us "are on a spiritual path whether you know it, intend it, admit it or not. If you are doing so with consciousness and intent, the path will, very likely, not be as you expect."