Love and Connection

During the recovery meeting today I met a woman who is dealing with her M.S., particularly the associated speech difficulties. We made a good connection and I was able to make her more comfortable and less self-conscious with her difficulties, for which she thanked me. I beamed love at her and everyone else at the meeting. I also reassured her during the meeting that if they understood me, they would have no trouble understanding her. The feeling of love and connection was very strong and it was great to be part of that. Being human is a struggle by itself and when a disability is added the struggle is more intense.

Near Death Experience

I have been reading about the views of Nikos Kazantzakis. He viewed life, very passionately, as a "luminous interval" between birth and death, focusing on the "ascension" and struggles of a life well and thoroughly lived - which I agree with. He also viewed the periods before and after life as an "abyss". In my case and having had a "near death experience" during which I experienced the feeling of extreme godly love and was told "this is what death feel like", I disagree with his comments about an abyss. I like his approach to life - "Lord, who are you? You loom before me like a centaur, his hands stretched toward the sky, his feet transfixed in mud." [God] "I am he who eternally ascends"

Mystical Experience

Maria, my wife, set up and we performed the Columbia, MD version of a sweat lodge ceremony, a mystical experience. I say "Columbia, MD version" since our H.O.A. does not allow open fires so no fire, hot stones or the steam they generate - all electric. Still a mystical experience involving prayer and meditation. In the words of Dubay, S.M. "A mystical touch is a deep, intimate contact-union-experience of God in one of His attributes such as power, light, goodness, beauty, or joy." I particularly asked to be "relieved of the bondage of self" since, on the one hand, I feel unworthy of the honor of such a ceremony and, on the other hand, know that has nothing to do with it. He goes on to say "Speaking of touches ‘The delights they engender more than compensate for all the trials suffered in life, even though innumerable’".

Daily Practice

My day is full of contrasting ups and downs as I switch back and forth from focusing on the Absolute or God place and my physical/emotional condition. I begin each day shortly after midnight with three or four hours of focus on the God place, an exercise of spirit when my physical/emotional condition has no reality or impact. I then sleep until about seven and arise with an awareness of pain, stiffness and planning for the day. Typically this is the low point of my day which I get over with exercise, stretching and meditation, by the end of which I feel pretty good. During the rest of the day I feel mostly the love and peace of the Absolute with brief periods of pain or being aware of my disability.

Daily Practice

I do several hours of combined prayer, meditation, contemplation, reading and writing every day. I often do my contemplation during less demanding activities like exercising, weeding or cooking. I enjoy experiencing the God place or what Jesus called the Kingdom of God, which makes my disability or chronic pain tolerable. When in the God place my disability and pain either do not exist or have no significance. I recall the wise words of Thomas Kelly when he said "Life is meant to be lived from a Center, a divine Center ---- a life of unhurried peace and power. It is simple. It is serene. It takes no time, but it occupies all our time."

Peace

I did not find out about last night’s bombing of Syria until this morning. When I found out about it I was immediately disturbed since violence generally leads to more violence, not peace. A short time later I meditated, got into that loving God place and quickly realized that in an eternal/Godly sense, everything was just fine. During the day I have been reflecting on the word of Dubay, S.M. when he wrote "When one is anchored deeply in the divine solution to all problems, outer turmoil cannot disturb the inner tranquility. It is a peace that surpasses all understanding."

Spiritual Path

Just before my recovery meeting today a friend and fellow recovering person wanted another copy of my book, having loaned his copy to a friend, who now wanted his own copy. The whole interchange pleased me, since my book was helping them on their own spiritual paths. He then spoke passionately during the meeting about his relationships and what his path meant to him, commenting on the freedom that he found there. I could certainly identify, having gone through something similar. It was good to connect with a fellow traveler.

Compassion

Today I have been reading some of the early writings of some of the Friends (Quakers), particularly surrounding alcohol use but other issues as well. They obviously judged other people harshly and attempted to coerce them away from their use of intoxicants, distractions and frivolities. I also find fulfillment in a monastic lifestyle, largely without those intoxicants, distractions and frivolities but I also view others with compassion, realizing that we are all connected. I model myself according to the beautiful comments from Knowing Woman by Irene Claremont deCastillejo, many years ago; "In those rare moments when all the opposites meet within a man, good and also evil, light and also darkness, spirit and also body, brain and also heart, masculine focused consciousness and at the same time feminine diffuse awareness, wisdom of maturity and childlike wonder; when all are allowed and none displaces any other in the mind of a man, then that man, though he may utter no word is in an attitude of prayer. Whether he knows it or not his own receptive allowing will affect all those around him; rain will fall on the parched fields, and tears will turn bitter grief to flowering sorrow, while stricken children dry their eyes and laugh." Coercion and judgment do not fall within love.

Being Present

This was another regular day of just quietly doing the "next right thing", the simple task right in front of me. I exercised, went grocery shopping, meditated and worked on our gardens, a very contemplative activity. I was conscious of an internal voice that said I should be doing more. In the words of Kornfield, "When we let go of our battles and open our heart to things as they are, then we come to rest in the present moment This is the beginning and end of spiritual practice." He goes on to say, "As we stop the war, each of us will find something from which we have been running -- our loneliness, our unworthiness, our boredom, our shame, our unfulfilled desires." In my case it was impatience and a desire to be accomplishing more.

I'm a Dreamer

I am passionate about the power or force of love/God and the ability of that force to change the world. That force has changed my life and can certainly change others and as I say in my website "if enough people discover and live by what I attempt to describe here, things could change dramatically and on much more than a personal level." Unfortunately, I don’t know how to do that - yet. I am working on it. In the words of Sawhill "To attain excellence, you must care more than others think wise, risk more than others think safe and dream more than others think practical". Time to meditate!