Spiritual Path

Today during my recovery meeting I described myself as a "spiritual mutt", meaning that my spiritual beliefs are taken from a variety of sources, and that I follow none purely. I have followed and practiced several traditions, not ever believing that any one was the best path but realizing that each had something to teach me. My first paths were all Christian where I first found the strength and power of God but also the conditional nature of some of the beliefs. I turned to Taoism in order to find harmony in that Way, I worked diligently at various Hindu and Buddhist meditative practices, where I discovered the absolute nature of God’s love. I then spent several years following and deepening a mixture of Navajo and Christian beliefs and practices. One of the central principles I found was that all of the systems where approaching the same things using different words and that the different words used were not important — the Love is. The journey and its results have been wonderful. "these, and everything that is both mean and divine say that God is our goal and destiny, and without Him there is no meaning." (Gilbert Kilpack)

Unconditional Love

In 2006 I had a Near-Death-Experience during which I met briefly with God, Jesus or some other entity, an experience I will never forget. It was then that I first felt the absolute and unconditional nature of God’s love, very pure, simple and powerful. I was told "This is what it feels like to be dead" and given the opportunity to return to my earthly life. I chose to come back because I knew that entity wanted me to and I would do absolutely anything that entity wanted of me. The love for me was that strong. "There are, says the saint [St. John of the Cross], encounters with God such that the devil cannot possibly counterfeit them, nor can one’s imagination create them. Some are so indelibly imprinted in the center of one’s being that they can neither be described nor forgotten."

Mundane Tasks

I spent a good part of this afternoon working in our gardens, pulling the invading plants and making way for the ones we planted and prefer. During the process I talk to the plants, telling them how much I admire them, contemplate on recent events and feel the presence of Love, making weeding very enjoyable. I do the same sort of thing when I cook, wash dishes, pay bills, etc. According to the Thomas gospel Jesus said, "I am the light which is before all things. It is I who am all things. From me all things came forth, and to me all things extend. Split a piece of wood, and I am there; lift up the stone, and you will find me."

My Goal

During my recovery meeting, which was on prayer and meditation, someone commented "pray, meditate and do the next right thing", very simple and what I have been doing for years, not knowing where it would lead me. I set as a goal to "change the world — one person at a time" which is what I have done and continue to do. My hope is that my work with spirits has an impact beyond that, which remains to be determined but that is my intent. This is all very fulfilling and makes me think of the words of a Joan Baez song from years ago "I am less than this song I am singing and more than I thought I could be". Come join me!

Growth

I already know more (or believe I do!) about life on this planet than I thought possible and I am on a never ending quest to find out more. I endeavor to stay open and keep listening to all sources. The most extreme set of beliefs is through my spiritual connection which I cannot say I really understand but keep participating in. I have used and continue to use a lot of meditation and contemplation along with a surrender of self, which I plan to do more of right now. "To get we must also give, to advance we must also surrender, to gain we must lose, to attain we must resign. From the nature of things life means choice and selection, and every positive choice negates all other possibilities." (Rufus Jones)

Choice

On one hand I can see, feel and hear the false promises of a worldly life of money, power, prestige, drama, excitement, etc. "False" in that the promise is of a fulfilling, complete and happy life, which it does not deliver, but is attractive and compelling, all-be-it short lived and hollow. On the other hand I hear and feel that "small quiet voice", urging me to follow a path of service, love, presence and eternity. That voice is indeed quiet and does not advertise but will deliver if I have the discipline to follow. I choose the silence and quiet! "From everywhere, it seems, we are bombarded with the idea that our nature is innately violent, that our chief preoccupation is with our sexuality, and that our main purpose in life is the acquirement of ever more nifty possessions.......Indeed, if is only through the practice of inner silence that we can begin to disentangle ourselves from our culture and its illusions. (Daniel A. Seeger)

Listening

As Scott Peck wrote a few decades ago "Life is difficult." I have been feeling the difficulty during the last few days and struggling with physical and emotional pain. For dealing with the difficulty I have used a lot of meditation, contemplation and listening. The results of that listening are my entries of the last few days. I asked for guidance and listened carefully. As a result, today I felt pretty good. I seem to be over the hump and on the downhill side. The life process works — if I pay attention. "For each circumstance is a gift, and in each experience is hidden a treasure." (Walsch)

Surrender

In order to find fulfillment, peace and happiness in my life I have turned to spiritual enlightenment — close connection with God. I have put/bet all my effort and money on that one card and in order to "win" I need to surrender as much as possible. Over the last few days I have realized that I have not fully surrendered my physical health — I still want to have the illusion of control over my options. I am working through that attitude and trying to become more willing. After complete surrender Timothy Ashworth commented that " he experienced an overwhelming, sweet, fiery sensation in his heart, along with a powerful shift in consciousness." (Marcelle Martin)

The Life Force

Originally through my sweat lodge and vision quest experiences I was shown that love, God or the life force existed in everything living and non-living, I just needed to be open to the possibility, which I became. I now see and feel God in everything and everyone. Since then I have also learned that according to the Thomas gospel, Jesus said that this primordial light or love not only brought the entire universe into being but still shines through everything we see and touch. I feel that presence most strongly during my dawn ceremony in my yard each morning, but also when I focus on it while being in the natural world. Jesus said, "I am the light which is before all things. It is I who am all things. From me all things came forth, and to me all things extend. Split a piece of wood, and I am there; lift up the stone, and you will find me." from the gospel of Thomas

Seeking

For the last week or so during my own meditation, during recovery meetings and during worship sessions of the Friends I keep hearing two things. The first is to center myself in the spirit by detaching from everything in the created order. The second is to focus solely and powerfully on seeking a stronger connection with God and then depending on that relationship. "Seek not humility. Seek God. Through God you will find humility. Sought as an end, humility will run in a circle and bring you directly back to pride. Seek not for faith to move mountains. Seek God first. Perhaps the mountains do not need moving, perhaps He will lift you up above the mountains which may be better than moving them. Seek not pleasure neither of body nor of soul. This too is a gift, eluding those who seek it seek God, for He alone is able to give joy, which is infinitely finer than pleasure. Seek not power, not even power to do great deeds. Seek God and Him alone, and power will flow from you in ways and times which are hidden from you." (Gilbert Kilpack) Sounds like good advice — I think I’ll take it!