Gratitude

This morning, when doing the weekly shopping, I spoke briefly with a woman who inquired how I was with more than the normal sincerity. I responded that I was OK and still breathing. She laughed and said "Me to!!..... and it’s a beautiful day" which caused me to realize how grateful I was for the present moment. I had no pain and was able to drive and then do the shopping. Later in the day I was getting in my wife’s way while she was doing some repairs on our home and she commented that she would rather have me in the way than in my bed suffering, which used to be the case. Once again I felt gratitude for the present.

Connection

Today, beginning and ending with my Higher Power (God) I had several meaningful and wonderful connections. Each had strong feelings of respect, love and honor. The first connection was with God during silent worship this morning followed by several human and one canine joining during the day. The last was another divine connection during meditation tonight. I cannot say that I actually depend on any other than the divine connections, but I certainly enjoy them. I am attached to my connection with God and depend on it to keep my head on straight each day.

Infused Prayer

I have enjoyed the comments and observations of Thomas Dubay, S. M. when he wrote of infused prayer that it involved an "Immersion in God [which] entails a being filled with Him, a divine inflowing". He also stated that depth of connection with the divine was a gift, not the result of individual’s practice, a view also held by the modern Quaker Thomas Kelly. In my experience that level of connection requires almost constant devotion, but is well worth the effort. It feels fulfilling and has changed my life.

Self-healing

At this point I have self healed many physical problems (malfunctioning heart valve, five cysts, one cancerous/pre-cancerous lesion, a lung problem, a prostate problem, an under-performing thyroid) and partially healed my disability. Having completely healed so many problems, I wonder why it is only partial with my disability. It could be that my disability is still useful in terms of being of service. It could also be that I am resisting healing. I can only stay open to all possibilities and continue to work on it.

Reality

My understanding is that current, day-to-day events are not illusory but temporal. The daily events each of us are involved in are very real but we do have more control of them than we generally think. For example, when I talk to the doctor about my various conditions I am told that what I do is impossible since it does not fall within the reality they learned in medical school. My challenge is to fully expand and develop my potential while staying within God’s Love and guidance. "Reality is only partly our invention; it is also partly our discovery. Our task is to discover how much and in what areas which is which; and then to determine how much new freedom this gives us and what we can do with it". (Lawrence LeShan)

Eternity

I am not religious in any way, yet I feel great joy in conducting my everyday affaires within the presence of the Divine. I live and "walk" within the light, knowing that presence in everything and everyone. This position is often difficult for me since I view current events both from a temporal, worldly perspective and from an eternal, loving perspective as well. "To cast their distinction into contemporary terminology, we might say that in the transforming union the person perceives in his profound center a peaceful, gentle awareness that the Trinity is continually present....... A person is able to attend to the indwelling Trinity and yet carry on the ordinary business of daily life." (Thomas Dubay, S. M.)

Connection

Yesterday and again today I had lengthy and intense connections and interactions with others during which I could feel the presence of God or something. I could tell the interactions were important though I cannot say why. I found them to be exhilarating and exhausting. "For there to be a meeting, it seems as though a third, a something else, is always present. You may call it Love, or the Holy Spirit. Jungians would say that it is the presence of the Self. If this 'Other' is present, there cannot have failed to be a meeting." (Irene Claremont deCastillejo)

Perspective

In a very temporal and worldly way I can view some of the current political trends as destructive to the earth and harmful to its inhabitants. If I am attached to this view I am alarmed by those trends. On the other hand I can sense that in an eternal way the earth and its inhabitants are in divine order and just fine, though some may die in the process. The latter view has a divine source and I feel it most strongly during my periods of prayer and meditation. I am better off not spending much time reading the paper or listening to the news. "To understand better the value of silence in daily life, and its relation to this spiritual transformation for which we yearn, it is useful first to consider the limitation of language, of words......."It is next useful to contemplate the limitations of logical reasoning."

Courage

In the words of the Joan Baez song from years ago, "I am less than the song I am singing, I am more than I thought I could be". I move through life touching people emotionally and spiritually, spreading love all the time. I am less than that, less than what I do but much more than I thought possible. I also keep encountering the fear of becoming "all I can be". I have been dealing with that fear for the last couple of days by feeling it (very unpleasant!) And resolving to go ahead anyway. I gather that is called courage — it feels like fear.

Daily Life

I lead a disciplined life, not because of being fearful of the consequences of not doing so, but because of the joy, peace and freedom resulting from that discipline. As Thomas Dubay, S. M. writes "we might say that in the transforming union the person perceives in his profound center a peaceful, gentle awareness that the Trinity [Love and harmony with all things] is continually present." He goes on to point out that "A person is able to attend to the indwelling Trinity and yet carry on the ordinary business of daily life." I can do that as long as I do not believe that the "ordinary business has much importance.