Growth

As various spiritual leaders have pointed out and I agree, we have incarnated and are here to learn and grow in love. This process is sometimes hard to discern but as Williamson puts it "We will be given every opportunity to learn through joy, and when we deny ourselves that, we will learn through pain. But we will learn." I can see the reality of this in my life. I have learned and grown through many painful situations and I now choose to learn through joy, a much lighter touch.

Simplicity 2

Maria is sick with a gut virus so I, once again, went to the new house by myself. I had another simple day without chaotic, anxiety producing news reports and doing simple things like gardening. While doing simple, basic things I feel love, gratitude and connection. I keep in mind the words of Meister Eckhart; "A man should receive God in all things and train his mind to keep God ever present in his mind, in his aims and in his love. Note how you regard God: keep the same attitude that you have in church or in your cell, and carry it with you in the crowd and in unrest and inequality.....In your acts you should have an equal mind and equal faith and equal love for your God.....If you were equal-minded in this way, then no man could keep you from having God ever present.".

Simplicity

Today was simple, quiet and peaceful - very pleasant. I went to our new but still vacant house by myself today. I walked down to the lake to eat my lunch while also watching and greeting people as they strolled by. There is a path around the lake that people use for exercise. There were also three deer, one male and two females, that accompanied me as I walked. I then came back to do some weeding of our yard and gardening. All during the day I had feelings of gratitude and connection to everything and everybody. This was a good day.

Dealing With Pain

In a recovery meeting today I found myself talking about the fact that when I go deeply enough into meditation or working with another all of my pain or disability "vanish", as I also mentioned yesterday. Early in my recovery process my mentor showed me that as Kopp says "The decisive step toward God consists of letting go of all worries, that is, all fears and attachments. This step requires a foundation of complete and unreserved trust. We can only release our fears in proportion to how much our trust in God has grown, deepened, and ripened into an unshakable faith. The more we abide in living faith, the more we abide in divine love. And where this is, there is no room for fear." or pain.

Healing

I did a healing for someone today and the feeling of heat and energy exchange was intense, causing me to sweat and breath heavily. I especially took note of the fact that whenever I do such an exchange, while working with someone else, all other concerns vanish from my thoughts and my focus is complete. It is an ability, a gift, for which I am extremely grateful. It feels like I am being a channel for a higher level source of energy. I choose to call that force God.

Remaining Peaceful

I have largely avoided the rancor, chaos and accusations of this election season since most of it is word-play and non of my business. However, I cannot and do not wish to avoid knowing something of what is going on since some knowledge is required for awareness. I keep in mind two quotes from St. John of the Cross; "He should learn to remain in God’s presence with a loving attention and a tranquil intellect, even though this seems like idleness to him. Soon he will find little by little that a divine calm and peace with a wondrous, sublime knowledge of God, enveloped in divine love, will be infused into his soul" and "Immersion in God entails a being filled with Him, a divine inflowing. Biblical men knew well enough that this self-communication of God is the sole destiny of men." I find both to be true and important at this time.

Balance

Lately I have been very distracted and involved in moving and setting up a dwelling in MD, having moved from AZ, worldly concerns. That is what is on my plate right now and I wish to stay in the present. I also continue to write, contemplate and meditate several hours each day. I continue to attend recovery meetings and other spiritually oriented meetings several times a week. My balance point has shifted but I continue to focus on love, peace forgiveness, gratitude and connection. Life is good.

I Am A Dreamer

I believe very strongly in the ultimate goodness of humanity, knowing that love is stronger than hate and that right is stronger than corruption. I support very passionately actions born of love, connection, respect, honor, etc. I see these actions every day in the people around me, neighbors or on the news - actions that fill me with emotion. These ideas and actions are supported by my book (Three Simple Questions: Being in the World, But Not of It), a book I self published as part of my effort to change the world. If they were universal these ideas and way of life could change the way we treat each other and this earth.

Feeling the Love

All the questions are still out there. I have no idea if I am following the right path, making the right decisions or know where the path will lead but I am acting out of love and doing my best so I suspect everything is fine. Today I feel good and figure that the force I call God is on my side. I feel the love and will go with that. I look at my life with a sense of wonder.

Difficult Decisions

A day of contemplation, meditation and assessment of our current situation. I wonder if we should consider doing things differently, like modifying our plans to own and maintain our own home in light of my disability and inability to do the required maintenance. Difficult decisions! Meanwhile I planted some bulbs today and continue to do my best with what is presented to me each day. Life goes on.