Silent Time

I need a large amount, several hours, of quiet time each day during which I contemplate, meditate or just sit and sort out my thoughts. I may spend about 25% of that time on day-to-day worldly concerns and the rest on current spiritual matters, such as my mentoring of others or my various types of communication. If I do not get enough quiet time I feel off balance and know something is missing. I notice that I can indulge in some sort of relaxation, like watching a movie, and feel like I am wasting valuable time which would be better spent just sitting in silence, so I generally turn off the movie and sit. "It [inner silence] is to establish an inner peace, an inner harmony, which will allow us authentically to contribute to the establishment of an outer peace and an outer harmony in the world at large." (Daniel A. Seeger)

Helping Change

I lead a life of being of service to others and I am empathic, understanding, inclusive and loving. I am also aware of, largely unexpressed, selfish, self-centered egotistical tendencies which were acted upon in my younger times. I was able to move away from the way I was when younger because of an atmosphere of love, understanding and encouragement which was given to me. At the present time I witness lying, stealing, manipulating and racism in the authority figures around me, usually driven by selfish, self-centered and egotistical motives. I find that I cannot condemn them since I was the same but I can and do extend love, understanding and empathy. In the Dhammapada the Buddha teaches that in this world hate never dispels hate. Only love dispels hate.

Dealing With Issues

During my recovery meetings and through my work with others I keep hearing about people being upset over the fact that other people close to them are angry with them or simply that people close to them are having difficulties. Using the second of the three questions; (Would I do this in front of God [or whatever you call the power or force behind the Universe]?; Is my name really on it [or is it really my responsibility]?; Will this increase the integrity of the universe [or is this action motivated by love, rather than fear, acting out of love always increases the integrity of the universe]?) I have realized that beyond being empathic, listening and being supportive, their issues are theirs, not mine — frequently even if they are angry with me. The last of the three questions leads me to self-care as being the loving activity I am responsible for.

Silent Connection

Today I just went about my daily activities feeling Love and gratitude for all things, making brief, largely non-verbal, connections and being largely silent with lots of loving eye contact. I began my day in the usual fashion with a dawn ceremony greeting and blessing the day and the plants in my yard. After oatmeal I went shopping and enjoyed the many non-verbal connections. I spent most of the afternoon cutting up vegetables and cooking. This has been a very enjoyable and peaceful day. "To understand better the value of silence in daily life, and its relation to this spiritual transformation for which we yearn, it is useful first to consider the limitation of language, of words. It is next useful to contemplate the limitations of logical reasoning." (Daniel A. Seeger)

Presence

I first encountered the awesome force or presence I now know as God while sitting on a narrow ridge near the top of Grandfather Mountain in North Carolina. Maria, my wife, and I had been hiking up the "back country" side of the mountain during one of our backpacking vacations. It was an overwhelming feeling of love, power, presence, strength and peace which Maria felt as well, quite a gift. That was back around 1985 and I did not believe in much of anything, but that got my attention. I, of course, had no idea of the life which was coming. "Jesus said, ‘I am the light which is before all things. It is I who am all things. From me all things came forth, and to me all things extend. Split a piece of wood, and I am there; lift up the stone, and you will find me.’" from the gospel of Thomas.

Peace

After our period of silent worship this morning Maria and I stopped to visit a nearby graveyard. It was a very peaceful setting in a rural area down the road from some big, expensive homes. Most of the markers were from the 1800s or early 1900s with one that I saw dated 2000. The spirits wanted to get to know me before communicating with me so I sat and invited them to probe me, which they did. According to Maria they were pleased and I plan to return in a week or so — why, I do not know. Before leaving there was a family of beautiful red-tailed hawks soaring above us and then a large Accipiter flapped its way across the sky. All-in-all it was a wonderful experience.

Change

I hesitate to say this, but there may be a shift happening in the direction of love, peace, understanding and compassion. It seems that we have been going through a period of hate, anger and fear which has been spearheaded by our presidential administration and other leaders around the world. Those leaders and ours brought us to an important "bottom" of sorts. It appears to me that the bottom scared enough people that the tide is now shifting. I am hopeful and we shall see. "It is not that the demonic forces within the unconscious are not capable of destruction and disintegration. It is rather that within the mystery of the conjunction of opposites their sting can be drawn, their poison drained, and their very energy harnessed to realize a more profound individuation. (John Yungblut)

I Am

I have been listening to the news the last couple of days and today I was talking to someone about a beating in public where the victim called for help and no-one responded, both producing a pretty dark view of our current status. I began looking at the world through an earthly, temporal lens rather than the eternal, "I am" lens which Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj writes about. The I am part of each of us knows that using the eternal view, everything is unfolding well and we are moving in a loving direction, even when the short term view looks dark. The I am part has always been there and is firmly rooted in love. As did Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj, I access that part through meditation. "[Jesus said,] ‘Blessed is the one who came into being before he came into being.’" (from the gospel of Thomas)

Broadcasting

Today I spent time focusing on and broadcasting the feeling of God or, if you prefer, the intense feeling of unconditional Love. I did that on my own while meditating in my living room and also several times while at a recovery meeting, each being a small, but very important, part of my day. It feels great when I do that and I am "stronger" than I used to be — but, I feel, not as strong as I will be. My goal is to be able to alter the energy field around people such that they can readily get past any negative thoughts or feelings and feel the Love. I have succeeded in doing that several times in the past and wish to develop and better control the ability. Time to work on that!

Balance

Today I spent several hours preparing a big batch (5-6 gallon) of vegetable soup. I also exercised for a couple of hours, mentored one person, made dinner and had several periods of rest and meditation. All that may not sound like a big deal for a normal person but I was very conscious of both pushing myself and staying within my own limitations. It is important for me to balance pushing myself and recognizing my limitations if I wish to remain functional within my disability. When I over do it I can injure myself or get overly tired and if I don’t push I tend to become less able, a direction I do not wish to go. Today I was successful at maintaining a balance.