Looking over my past posts it’s striking how much my feelings vary from day to day. Today I feel dissatisfied and want more of everything in my life - which seems to be part of my nature as a recovering person. I have three files of spiritual quotes, about sixteen pages each, that I go through daily in order to experience the life I talk about in these blogs. They help keep me on track. Today I especially need to be reminded of the words of Claremont deCastillejo from years ago: "We have forgotten how to allow. The essence of the Rainmaker is that he knows how to allow. The Rainmaker walks in the middle of the road, neither held back by the past nor hurrying towards the future, neither lured to the right nor to the left, but allowing the past and the future, the outer world of the right and the inner images of the left all to play upon him while he attends, no more than attends, to the living moment in which these forces meet.
In those rare moments when all the opposites meet within a man, good and also evil, light and also darkness, spirit and also body, brain and also heart, masculine focused consciousness and at the same time feminine diffuse awareness, wisdom of maturity and childlike wonder; when all are allowed and none displaces any other in the mind of a man, then that man, though he may utter no word is in an attitude of prayer. Whether he knows it or not his own receptive allowing will affect all those around him; rain will fall on the parched fields, and tears will turn bitter grief to flowering sorrow, while stricken children dry their eyes and laugh." I selected the "rainmaker ideal" as a goal many years ago and I feel more at peace being reminded. Time to meditate.
