Prayer and Meditation

I have been working with spirits and also people who are in the process of dealing with terminal illnesses. I am clear that I do not know what the outcome will be in any of these cases, that the outcome is not up to me. I often have the feelings of being lost and over my head, though I suspect I am doing well. I keep asking for guidance and doing the next right thing. I use a lot of prayer, meditation and proceed slowly. "The life of prayer is perhaps the most mysterious dimension of all human experience. We come to be at home with a God we cannot see. We discover that it is only by giving ourselves away totally that we truly come to possess ourselves, that we are most free when most surrendered. We begin to realize that light is darkness and darkness light. We become lost in a trackless desert — and then, if we persevere despite our disorientation, we begin to realize that it is only being lost, in losing ourselves, that we are found. The whole of our life and not just our prayer life, becomes a paradox, an apparent contradiction concealing and revealing a deeper truth, because we begin to realize that we must live as we pray" (Thomas H. Green, S.J.)