Love Versus Aggression

I have found that if I approach my personal interactions with love and compassion, that it feels good and makes me stronger, emotionally and spiritually, the antagonism of others tends to dissolve and disappear.  The situation usually ends up being a win-win.  A good example of this idea is when I was rear-ended several months ago.  Rather than being angry and aggressive, I was loving and compassionate.  I kept reassuring the person who hit me that the incident was simply an inconvenience and pointed out that no one was hurt.  He calmed down, we gave the police the needed information and his insurance took care of the damage to my car.  A potentially negative situation did not happen and everyone felt good about the interaction.
If, on the other hand, I approach the interaction with aggression and fear, that is what comes back to me and no one is happy with the outcome.  It also weakens me.  In the example above I could have gotten angry and upset at the time spent or the damage to my car.  I could have gotten angry and defensive and the person that hit me could have gotten defensive and continued to feel bad.  It would be nice if the decision makers understood this simple approach, and acted accordingly.  Aggressive conflicts would go away and the freed-up resources could be used for more productive things.

Simplicity

Simplicity came up as a topic again today in the recovery meeting.  Several people commented that the enjoyable part of life is really pretty simple and that their brains complicate things.  A few people commented that their brains find ways to argue with themselves.  I could certainly identify with both.  I still hear whispers of my brain trying to take me out of the moment and complicate life with fearful thoughts.  I use a lot of mindful meditation in order to notice my thoughts and then gentle laughter to not take them seriously.  I then return to the simple truths of living in the moment, love and compassion.

Achieving Harmony

Today I am happy and at peace with my life.  I lead a life immersed in love and service to others and feel that my externals are harmonious with my internals.  Externals like possessions, money, power and prestige are not totally absent from my life but minimal, and they definitely take a back seat.  I encourage others to do the same, and that kind of life works for them too.  For me, the absence of physical health and the presence of physical pain certainly demand respect, attention, acceptance and effort, but apparently do not prevent happiness.  In reviewing how this came about for me, I would say that I made a lot of internal changes in attitudes and beliefs, followed by changes in my externals in order to achieve harmony.  Both sets of changes required a good deal of help, guidance, courage and perseverance.

The Importance of Love

I had two clients and one phone interaction with some parents today.  I made a very strong loving connection with each of them.  The parents are well off and very conservative, while I am quite a bit left of left and decidedly not well off.  It was quite apparent with the parents that my socioeconomic status means nothing in the presence of love and compassion, especially when it comes to their son.  My clients were young adult males and they too listen to me because they know I love and respect them.  I am not the person I used to be, this would not have happened to him.

Levels of Change

I have gone through a lot of personal changes in the last several years, and I certainly realize how difficult some changes are, particularly changes in deep, core values.  The toughest changes for me have been around supposedly “incurable” health issues and my own power to heal them, using love and the healing power of God.  Through the process, I have come to realize and take part in, an immense source of power.  I now use that power and am with it daily.
I have encountered three “levels” that all need to shift if a change is to take place.  I have found that I can influence each of the three levels, using love, understanding and compassion.  If I try to force my will on any of the levels out of fear, which I have done, I fail.  The three levels are; the personal level, the level of what is usually called the collective consciousness and the karmic or soul level.  They all need to shift for a change to take place.  At the personal level there are beliefs such as unworthiness, incapability, attachment and need that have caused me to stay stuck in old patterns of behavior that cause me emotional or physical pain and difficulty.  For example, my believing what the doctors say or depending on medication.  These beliefs are actually comforting, but they also hold me back, and are very difficult to change.
The level of the collective consciousness is, in many cases, the easiest level to change but it does require a lot of patience, forcing it does not work.  I have found this level to be less “gut wrenching”, than the other two.  Basically, if the collective consciousness is that the desired change is totally out of reach and a matter of denial or fantasy, then the force of that collective belief will make the change impossible or very difficult or impossible.  For example, in my case, I need and needed to change the general belief that I will simply deteriorate and die.
The third level that needs to change is the soul or karmic level, which, I have found, can only be addressed through meditation and/or intuition.  There are issues, at a soul level, that I am trying to learn or transcend.  I have found that I need to address these issues, before I can move on to the next set of issues.  For example, in my case, I needed to accept my alcoholism and the fact that my body was not perfect, that I was not “less of a man” because of either of these factors.

The Simplicity of Love

“It’s really pretty simple isn’t it!” and I just said “Yes”.  Today, someone asked me a question, I gave them a simple, straightforward response and that was their reaction to my suggestion.  The fact is that a love-based response is generally very simple and direct.  As opposed to a fear-based response which is often highly intellectual and convoluted.  For example, simply saying “I’m sorry, I’ll try to do differently next time” rather than giving a long explanation, which, in fact, dilutes the apology.
I understand that this principle of the simplicity of love explains Mary Magdalen’s response and attitude toward Jesus.  She felt his love and simply worshiped and adored him.  Her feelings toward him were pure and simple, regardless of whatever took place in her past, as were his feelings toward her.  She also realized that there was no need for her forgiveness since within love there is no judgement or criticism.  I, too, have felt and feel that love, as have many others.  On the other hand, the apostles and many other followers have complicated the message and feeling with various rules, explanations and judgements.

Listening

I went to the Social Security office today, since I have been getting mail about “open enrollment” and “supplemental insurance” and I was assuming that I was approaching some sort of a change in my benefits and I wanted to find out what.  It turns out that the only change I am approaching is turning sixty five.  So, as I have witnessed before, my brain can come up with all sorts of negative, fear based stories and I am better off not making assumptions!
After going to the S.S. office, I went to a used book store and while there, something told me that I should go to my recovery meeting early and wait in the parking lot since someone else was coming early to talk with me.  Very strange, but I listened and acted accordingly.  The message was correct and I had a very good connection with another person.  This increase sensitivity is a lot of fun, I just need to listen..

Love Vs. Fear

I was talking with someone about love and fear today.  He made the comment that it all comes down to love and fear and I agreed.  I then said that love was the only real thing I knew of.  Love is eternal and comes from God, fear is transient and frequently relates to earthly, material things.  Both are feelings and the actions that result.  However, if a person acts in the presence of fear (courage), the fear dissolves and goes away, like elusive vapor.  If one acts in the presence of love, it gets stronger and spreads.  It also feels a lot better and more real!

Comparisons

Maria, my wife, and I took a ride to a forest service area near Sunset Crater and Wupatki National Monument, for a short hike and period of outdoor meditation.  On the way there we passed a dog that was dead and on the side of the road, having been hit by a car.  It was being eaten by another dog, a chilling scene.  We drove past the lava fields to a place where the pine trees were bent and gnarled, in large part because of the frequent strong wind.  The trees also showed evidence of lightning strikes and the resulting fires.
When I began meditating, I was communicating to the trees an acknowledgment of how hard their life was.  What I got back, loud and clear, was that “it is what it is” and that “comparisons are useless”.  As it says in the poem “Desiderata” by Max Ehermann, it is best not to use comparison and just peacefully accept what is.

Living the Truth

The theme of a dream I had several years ago was “You’ve got to remember, it won’t work if you don’t tell the truth”.  In the dream I ended up speaking those words forcefully and repeatedly to a group of aliens who wished to show earthlings that the aliens were friendly and not a threat to earth.  I wanted to convey to the aliens the importance of people knowing who they really were, if they wanted to accomplish their mission, that if the people on earth did not know the truth about who they were, their mission would fail.
In my case, I would like to show people the healing power of God/love and how it can change their lives, as it has changed mine.  Part of me would like to talk about this from within a monastery or on a stage sitting next to a Bird of Paradise flower, but that would not be real, the day to day truth which I live.  What I mean is that part of me would like to live a simple ideal life that would not make it difficult to live my truth, rather than the complex, challenging life I lead.  Living a normal life and writing a daily journal feels more real, so I have joined the ranks of the quiet ones who behave similarly.