Having Asked

Many years ago I prayed to see people and events the way that God does.  Since then, I have had numerous experiences of being in what I call the “God Place”, primarily during meditation.  While in the God place I feel a strong sense of the absolute, a feeling of love, connectedness, understanding and compassion.  I now see and understand people and events with a great deal of clarity and feel an over whelming sense of love, respect and compassion towards those people and events at the same time.  For myself I truly see that I am a “work in progress”, wonderfully human and a perfect “Charlie”, all at the same time.  I see and feel the same for others.  Having asked, I can do no less.

Focus On Love & Connection

A good day.  Before the day began I decided to carry out the day’s numerous activities while keeping in mind the importance of  love, connection, compassion and understanding as my main mission.  My day began with a phone call and connection to a family member of a client of mine, a very positive experience.  I next completed my dealings with the car rental outfit and the company doing the body-work on my car, both positive since I kept my focus on love, connection, compassion and understanding.  I then attended a session with the healer I use, once again keeping my focus on love, connection, compassion and understanding.  When I returned, I met with a sponsee and, once again, had a good connection and interaction.  I finished out the day by doing some continuing preparation for the coming move.  Mission accomplished!

Love Based

I comment on my website about the brain’s activity, thinking, being fear based, as opposed to the absolute or “I am”, which I access through meditation and service work, being love based.  Today in particular, and recently in general, I have had numerous opportunities to see the difference in others and experience that difference in myself.  The difference is most notable as the feelings I get while connecting with someone or during my period of prayer and meditation in the morning versus the feelings I get while filling out the paperwork needed for the coming move.  The choice is obvious.  I much prefer the love based feelings!

The Next Right Thing

I am aware of two main issues going on in my life right now.  The first is physical and relatively simple.  The fact is that I am sixty-five and disabled, both of which impose limits on my physical endurance and abilities.  Maria, of course, has her own limitations, which I need to respect, as well.  We are planning to move within the next couple of weeks and there are many tasks that must be completed.  I need to complete my share of the tasks while staying within my limitations, a challenging balance.
The second issue is new territory for me.  As I have indicated, I am relatively detached from all of the necessary surveys, signings, negotiations and procedures that accompany house selling and buying.  I am attempting to pay attention to the procedures that require my attention, while relying on our real estate agent to take care of most things, an exercise in trust and faith.
I am attempting to just keep doing the next right thing, with these issues in mind.

Spiritual Practices

Largely due to the meditation and contemplation portions of my spiritual practices I have come to realize many things about myself and life in general, many of which I mention in my website.  One big realization is that I no longer identify with the transient, vapor like events of the physical plane, but rather the unborn, absolute, eternal nature of the spiritual plane.  One of the larger, related, changes in my attitude, which I have been acutely aware of recently, is that I now face the changes in life with love, peace and gratitude rather than fear and anxiety.  This is a large change in attitude, for which I am very grateful.

The Spirit Side

In addition to working and connecting with a couple of clients, most of the day was spent preparing boxes and doing some preliminary packing, for the upcoming move.  While performing these activities, I reflected on my recent past here and the changes that are about to take place.  We are about to move into a house that is very mainstream within a very mainstream neighborhood.  During the past twenty years we have been involved in the sweat-lodge and becoming familiar with spirits, angels and what is commonly called the “other side”, decidedly not mainstream.  I suspect that it is now time to blend the two, though I do not know yet what form that will take.  I am looking forward to the challenge.

Spiritual Living

Many years ago I watched a movie called “Jeremiah Johnson” starring Robert Redford.  In that movie he started out as a very naive young man heading off to live in the Rocky Mountains and became a seasoned mountain man admired by many.  He encountered and overcame a great deal of life-threatening adversity along the way.  Toward the end of the movie he commented to Will Geer that “it oughta have been different”.  Similarly, I am admired by many, like who I have become and what I know but I sometimes wish I did not have to go through so much adversity to get here.  As Joy Marsh once said, I can “see the colors of music, hear the songs of color and [lead a life] blessed with magic people”.  I got here because of teachers, meditation and many adverse experiences.  All of those things helped drive me to the spiritual life I now lead.  It is what it is.

Respecting Limitations

We had our last sweat-lodge for the young addicts and alcoholics tonight, at least for a while.  As usual, it was a wonderful experience with lots of connection, respect and love.  After the lodge, one of the participants asked me how the house I will be moving into was and I replied “boring”.  That response surprised me a bit, but I realized that this house does not present me with any new challenges.  The house is quiet, comfortable, complete and seems to meet my needs, rather than a difficult and challenging rehab. special.  I think at the age of sixty-five, it is time to do things a bit differently.  Something about age & disability!

Changes

It now is clear that some changes are about to happen in my life.  During the next few weeks I will be moving from this house to a smaller house within the city of Flagstaff, a change that I, very purposely, brought on myself.  Compared to other recent changes, when I was in pain and genuinely did not know if I would survive, this is not a big deal.  However, it is a change and there is some stress associated.  My tendency will be to get involved in the process and reduce my self-care and spiritual practices.  For that reason, the change will call for greater diligence as far as my self-care and spiritual practices and, in addition, observing my behavior to insure that I not take out my stress on others.

Internal Well Being

Today I encountered a number of people who are indulging in all sorts of activities like going to loud parties, owning the right car, having a lot of money, having the right job, taking vacations to the right places or leading a totally carefree life in order to have “fun” and feel better about themselves and life in general.  Why not?  They live within a culture that says if the externals are just right then a person will feel good internally, a message they hear several times a day.  It seems that most people, including me, need to experience some of these things in order to know that they are hollow and will not improve my internal feelings.  In fact, the more I tried to fix my internals by adjusting my externals, the worse I felt, since nothing seemed to work.  Quietly being of service to others and having a good connection to God/love seems to work, an internal shift toward living within love.  I took notice of the fact that the happiest people I knew, had very few material possessions, while many who had a great deal were miserable, or even committed suicide.