Staying Open

I realize that many of my ideas run counter to commonly held beliefs and I continue with those ideas because they seem to be true.  I also realize that I am totally capable of self-delusion, that some of my ideas are wrong and I should just let them go.  For example, my notion that we each have a love or God part within us that we can choose to nurture and focus on runs counter to the belief that we are an aggressive species.  I continue with that belief because there is ample evidence for it, such as my comments yesterday.  On the other hand, I had some beliefs about one of the people I interact with, which I talked with him about today.  He informed me that I was wrong and provided me with information that also said I was wrong, so I discarded those beliefs, quickly, easily and completely.  My approach requires that I stay open to input and not attached to my own beliefs, which sounds simple, but both require that I keep my ego in check.

The God Part

Judging from the videos and pictures that go “viral” on the internet it seems that most people know and understand the power and reality of things like love and connection.  In my case, those pictures and videos touch upon something inside me that says “this is real” or “this is important”, as well as them being emotionally touching.  Those pictures and videos connect with the part of me that is connected with God, the part that I wish to grow and develop.  I have to believe the same is true for others.  That part of each of us is seldom emphasized, but it is there.

The Force/Power Of Love

My intellect and ego tend to be fear based and can result in limiting my ability to connect or harmonize with the power of love and life in all things, thus also limiting my capabilities.  For example, my intellect and ego, very useful for some things, tend to operate within the concepts of individual development, separateness and competition, while love tends to operate within the concepts of connection with others and inclusiveness.  Unfortunately, the ego and intellect are, generally, emphasized within our educational system, often to the exclusion of ideas such as connection with others and inclusiveness. When I can utilize my intellect and ego, while also emphasizing the power and reality of love in my life, I can maximize my potential.

Harmony

As long as I am willing to put my own ego aside, ask for support and guidance during my morning meditation and then make a sincere effort to harmonize my actions with the universe or God during the day, I can then accomplish wonderful things, such as physical healings or a day like the one described in my entry yesterday.  On the other hand, if/when I attempt to impose my own ego or intellect on my actions, I lose the ability.  I live within a paradox that I am totally comfortable with.

The Presence

Today, I had the experience of meeting with several people of a variety of ages, backgrounds and family positions, parents and offspring with differing histories.  I was very much aware of being in a pivotal position and yet only being a participant, not being in charge.  I was strongly reminded of the words of the Jungian psychologist Claremont deCastillejo when she said "For there to be a meeting, it seems as though a third, a something else, is always present.  You may call it Love, or the Holy Spirit.  Jungians would say that it is the presence of the Self.  If this 'Other' is present, there cannot have failed to be a meeting."  She also commented that "Great deeds can only be achieved when we are more than our little selves.  When we are lent wings we should not reject them." For me, it was an amazing day.

Long Day

Today I spent six hours making a very strong loving connection with several families in three different settings.  All in all, it was a very fulfilling day.  It was also exhausting, sort of like running a marathon or some other long race.  It was both exhilarating and exhausting!  It is important for me to realize that I need a few days of quiet.

Spiritual Weight

I went to check out a nearby location as a potential site for a sweat lodge today.  I swept over the area with a feather, sprinkled tobacco and meditated at the site, asking if it was a good location for a lodge and basically asking permission from the environment.  I got a response that required some sorting out, on my part.  My sense is that the trees, spirits and the rocks (it’s in a rocky area) are good with the proposed site and that was the response I was most interested in, that response carried the most spiritual “weight”, or significance.  On the other hand, the location seems to be on federal land, a fact that does not carry much weight but, I suspect, will keep the lodge from happening.  The phrase “white man’s law” comes to mind.

Compassion

Today I went to my pharmacist in order to pick up my thyroid medication (I’m hypothyroid).  Just ahead of me was a woman who was berating the clerk and felt she had been mistreated by her doctor and the pharmacist.  This went on for about ½ hour, while I waited.  I experienced a range of emotions as a result of the situation.  I was glad I was not the woman who was complaining, felt compassion for the clerk and amused by the whole situation.  When my turn came, the clerk was relieved that I was not angry and that caused me to realize that I could have made the situation a lot worse, but I chose compassion and amusement instead.  I have a great deal of compassion for my fellow humans and often find life to be amusing.

Love Versus Fear

I learned many attitudes and techniques during my formative years which protected me then, and hold me back now, if I listen to them.  Things like low self-worth, the danger to self of facing up to anger, the importance of appearance over substance, the necessity of using intellect over feelings or the danger of feeling and openly expressing emotions.  In my case, recently, those attitudes and techniques seemed very compelling, almost necessary, but also imprisoned me.  I recall, vividly, the first time I bought a used P.C. for myself.  The action actually made me nauseous since part of me said “you are not worth it” or “this is dangerous” and another part knew it was a good thing to do.  I went through similar conflicts when I first stood up to anger or began to trust my feelings or intuition.  Acting out of love, rather than fear is one of those “dangerous” behaviors that I choose today.

Harmony

I strive for harmony with “all that is”,asking for support and guidance repeatedly during the day.  During my daily meditation, I am very clear that I cannot do what I do alone and I have faith that I will get the assistance that I need.  My jobs are to get my ego out of the way, listen and do what I am told.  As a result of this practice, I do get the help I need and never feel alone.  During my day, I generally interact directly with several people, clients and others.  Typically, I also do many things which, indirectly, impact other people or future events.  Frequently I do not know why I am doing or saying what I do, other than it feels right and I figure I will know and understand eventually.  I realize that I am merely a willing participant in life and not in charge of outcomes.  This is a strange and very enjoyable way to live.