The Seed Of Love Or God

It is important for me to realize and always keep in mind that, regardless of the various actions anyone has performed, the seed of God or love is within each of us, we need only to find and nurture it.  That seed is often obscured by addictions, hurt, fear or anger, but it is always there.  That seed is also often obscured by negative, self-centered or violent tendencies.  At times people perform despicable or harmful acts, necessitating their removal from society, but when I encounter them, I can still find and connect with the loving part.

Choosing Love & Connection

Our scientific, materialistic, competitive and individualistic culture conflicts with the spiritual realities of love, compassion and connectedness.  Personally, I am very acutely aware of the conflict and I have learned to live with it.  Others that I work with feel the conflict acutely and have internalized it.  Having internalized the conflict, it gives them a large amount of difficulty and contributes to  myriad emotional and physical problems.  I have made the choice to live according to love, compassion and connectedness, but then, I am an old man who finds it easy to be a bit eccentric and not fit in.

Being Of Service

While it is true that I often receive some sort of personal benefit from being of service, I often give no thought to self and it is quite possible to do so without thought to a return.  At first it took considerable discipline for me to say nothing, but it was better for me when no-one knew of my act of service.  I also tried to keep in mind that “a master craftsman leaves no trace”, meaning that if no-one noticed, I had done my job well.  Having gone through an extensive period of disciplined not striving for a return, I now usually just act to help.  I found/find it amusing to watch my ego protest at not getting proper recognition.

Being Of Service

Being of service is extremely important to me, it feels like the least I can do in response to what I have been given.  Being of service is a recognition of the connection and love that has been given to me and that I feel toward others.  Loving others, agape, to me, means extending myself for their emotional and spiritual growth.  If I do that, without thoughts of self, I am taken care of as well.  I have also taken the ego driven approach of selfishly focusing on getting my own needs met, which is not as satisfying nor does that approch work as well.

Sacred Pipe

I was just given a sacred pipe.  Its origin is Lakota and there is now a strong feeling that it has found its way home, very exciting and a big responsibility.  Being a pipe carrier is about being a person of integrity and being of service.  To me the importance of the pipe and the notion of integrity and being of service goes well beyond the standard Caucasian cultural emphasis on linear, logical, intellectual, concepts.  It includes the emotionally and spiritually complex ideas such as the connectedness of all things and the sacredness of all of life.  I am touched and honored by the gift and what it represents.

Healing

I have witnessed and been a part of the healing that results from the love of the God place that I mentioned yesterday.  Using intent, I first fill myself with the feeling of the loving energy that I have learned.  Again using intent, I funnel that energy into my hands and then direct the loving energy to the object of healing.  In order to use my intent this way, I first have to clear my mind of any distracting, selfish or fear-based thoughts.  After I clear my mind, I can feel the energy flow into my hands and to the recipient.  Be it myself or someone else, the recipient can also feel the energy flow.  I cannot say that I understand the process more than what I have just described.

No Judgement With Love

I sense no judgement or any negative feelings toward humanity when I commune through meditation with the God place, only an overwhelming feeling of love, compassion and understanding.  Within that love I find nothing about condemnation, judgment day, unworthiness or a feeling that humans have a sinful nature.  My understanding is that those thoughts and feelings come from humans, not God.  That is why I refer to that place or feeling as absolute.  There is no duality there, only love.  That is also why my devotion and belief is total.

Faith

Right now, my life seems to be about change.  I used to face change with a feeling of dread, and that feeling is still there, lurking in the corners of my mind, waiting for a chance to be expressed.  The dominant feeling is excitement and faith that everything will turn out fine, though I have no idea what “fine” will look like.  I am currently contemplating and asking for guidance concerning the next leg of my life adventure, which will be to take what I have learned or been shown and express it to as many people as possible, probably in the form of a book.  I am also 65, disabled, have a limited income and an uncertain future.  My emotions vary between excitement, faith and dread, quite understandable given my situation.

Perspective

Being human is a wonderful experience.  Life is full of paradox, joy, conflict, drama and contradiction, very absorbing.  Taking a limited, short term view, which I have certainly done, life can feel like a roller coaster, pleasant at times, unpleasant at others.  Using the longer term view of someone my age or older, the ups and downs of life add to its texture, its fullness.  Using the meditative or contemplative view from an eternal perspective, all of life’s variations add to the feeling of love.  Each of the perspectives and those between are totally valid, just different.

Materialism

It is difficult at times, but it works best for me to enjoy and take part in things like materialism, ownership and capitalism, in a limited way, while also not seeking meaning or fulfillment in those things.  I enjoy owning and buying things but I also need to guard against those things owning me.  As various spiritual leaders have pointed out, the more I own the greater the tendency is to place importance on those things, to let them takeover, so it is best for me to simplify.  I need to keep in mind the words of M. Williamson, “Money, of itself, means nothing. Material things, of themselves, mean nothing.  It’s not that they’re bad. It’s that they’re nothing.”  Things like love, interactions and relationships are more difficult, but they have meaning and result in a greater sense of fulfillment.