Guidance & Support

Busy day.  During my morning meditation, I made it quite clear that I needed support and guidance in order to carry out my activities for the day and I got it.  I had several clients and received very precise instructions and guidance for working with each.  It was one of those days when I felt like I was acting in partnership with God and the results were quite remarkable.  In one case, I made it clear to my client that I was just doing what I was told, which he was used to, so he just felt amused, understanding and appreciative.  One of my other, newer clients exclaimed “this is weird” since it was obvious that I had prepared ahead of time, knowing the things he would talk about.  I just responded “no, it’s not”.  Overall, it was a very good day.

Healing

Today, I went to see and get worked on by the medical intuitive I have been going to monthly.  He uses his hands and intent to promote healing, primarily in my brain and jaw.  He expressed some frustration over the fact that I still have problems with my speech and jaw coordination, and I have to admit that I am impatient also.  However, as I noted later today, my walking, coordination, strength, jaw control and general mental clarity have all improved over the last few years, in spite of the prediction of doctors, so it could be a lot worse.  Being grateful rather than impatient feels like a better approach.

My Role

My role in life right now is clear; to spread the message of love and God I have been given, while continuing to “be the change I would like to see in the world”.  Previously, I have had my doubts about being able to pull that off without falling into the many ego traps within “money, power and prestige”.  For today I am past those doubts, quite a relief.  I will continue to ask for guidance and support, while doing my best, very simple.

Unconditional Love

At the Friend’s meeting two days ago I commented that it is not possible for any of us to turn our backs on God.  I later made the comment that I had certainly tried.  It is clear to me that God will accept whatever we do without judgment and still love us.  That feeling has been communicated to me directly and is my understanding of unconditional love.  I now carry that feeling with me and pass it on, every chance I get.  In the event that someone verbally attacks me or accuses me of  lying, I do not judge them or lash out at them.  What they say or do does not alter reality.

Guidance

This morning I reached out to another struggling person, a potential connection.  I also spent some time sitting with an injured pigeon, another connection.  Each interaction was very loving, fulfilling and selfless.  No thought was involved, just, what seemed to be, right action.  In the process, they each request of me that I be more than I am alone, without the guidance and support I get from the power or force that I call God.

Connecttion

Yesterday an injured pigeon decided to spend the night perched on a wheelbarrow just outside of our back door.  I was touched by the trust.  I also sent the pigeon healing energy as it settled in for the night.  Today, I sat with the pigeon for a while and sent it more healing.  I sprinkled bird seed nearby, as usual, and it ate and joined the other pigeons when they came to feed.  When they left, it stayed and returned to its perch on the wheelbarrow.  I am enjoying the connection.

Acceptance

Today, for a major portion of the day,. I felt totally fed up with being disabled.  As I said to Maria, because of my disability “everything that I do is such a f----ing chore”.  I did not change my activities or behavior in any way, doing cooking, exercising and computer work.  I even worked with two clients.  However, my belief in unconditional love tells me that I should embrace the feeling and let it pass.

Non-measurable Effects

Yesterday I attended a workshop in which we covered various measurable aspects of the stress response and holistic methods of alleviating that response, like meditation, yoga and breath work.  The measurable responses like hormone levels or activity within specific areas of the brain can be readily recorded and quantified.  It is those aspects where the focus is, for obvious reasons.  I asked and am intrigued by the non-measurable responses like the fact that the mere presence of an observer has an impact on the outcome or the impact of a loving connection between the people in the experiment.  As was pointed out by the speaker, I make use of that response, daily.  I suspect it has a very large impact.

Gratitude

My comments of yesterday helped to shift my attitude to one of gratitude.  Overall, my life is quite a bit easier than life is for most people in this world and it is good for me to remember that.  Life is often pretty harsh, especially for those like myself with disabilities and special needs and especially in developing countries or parts of this one.  The fact is, that I am pretty comfortable; living in a beautiful place, having an adequate income with my physical needs met.  I am very much aware of my connection to everything and everybody and attempt to live in a manner that respects that connection, being of service and doing as little harm as possible.

Difficulties

This evening Maria commented that she wished my life was easier and, I must admit that I would like that too, but I quickly reflect on two points.  The first point is an attitude that I picked up from a tree living in a harsh environment; “it is what it is”.  The second is a comment by R. Bach, “An easy life doesn’t teach us anything.  In the end it’s the learning that matters: what we’ve learned and how we’ve grown.”  The fact is that, because of life experiences, I now know things, primarily about love, compassion, gratitude connectedness and the life process in general.  I, very much, appreciate the things I have learned and think I will leave it at that and pass it on.