Love Of God

I feel a strong love for other people, regardless of their situations, beliefs or what they think of me.  The source of that love is the force or power that I call God.  Part of that love is being with them and emotionally supporting them while they experience unpleasant things, similar to the way I have gone through the many unpleasant experiences in my own life, things like disability, physical pain or just life circumstances.  As Bach says “They are the stones on which you choose to whet the keen edge of your spirit.  Know that ever about you stands the reality of love, and each moment you have the power to transform your world by what you have learned.”

Staying Present

I had numerous interactions of various types today, which, overall, left me feeling lost and confused.  I stayed present and moved from one situation to the next well, but since they were all very different, when reflecting on the sequence I found it confusing.  For example, I was of service to two people, offering suggestions and advice, which will, possibly, go unheeded.  I also was worked on by the medical intuitive healer I go to and had some interaction with my wife.  I talked about the extreme nature of the book I am writing, the fact that it will probably not be a money maker and the likely difficulty I will have getting it published.  Toward the end of the day, I talked extensively about my past experiences and the current difficulties and limitations due to my disability.  All in all, the day was a good example of staying present and going with the flow of life.

Love In Action

The topic in my recovery meeting today was “fellowship” and, during the meeting, I began reflecting on how much help I have received from others in recovery and from non-physical helpers, like God.  All in all, it has been quite a journey, involving many.  In my case, the help began with the numerous people who gave me guidance during the initial part of my recovery journey, guidance that continues today.  After the meeting I was approached by, and provided suggestions and guidance to two people.  First receiving then giving and receiving, two fine examples of love in action.

Passing It On

The highlight for me today was connecting 1-1 with another recovering person, in order for him to grow and change spiritually and emotionally.  He realized that certain beliefs and behaviors that he was conscious of were holding him back from feeling at peace with himself and his life.  He also realized that he had other unconscious beliefs and behaviors that were doing the same thing.  I could certainly identify with both.  Not that many years ago, very similarly, I knew there were problems with my life, but I had no clue how to do things differently.  I needed some guidance.  It is now wonderful to pass it on.

Changes

Maria and I went out to Wupatki today.  When there, we did a pipe and smudging ceremony.  It sounds silly, but my sense was that the pipe wanted to go with us.  Once there, the spirits & land felt very supportive, affirming and powerful.  Earlier in the day we attended a Friends (Quaker) meeting and the feeling was one of positive changes taking place, changes toward love, peace and compassion.  One of my friends just had a talk during which she referred to such a change going on.  I have an emotional attachment to those ideas so I am cautious, but it seems that what Maria and I do, is part of that shift.

Our Shadow Side

Today, I led two groups for the newly recovering addicts I work with, lots of good connection and love, very enjoyable.  As always, I kept in mind that my role was to serve them and asked for guidance and support before each of the groups. We talked about the dark or shadow side in each one of us, a subject I enjoy since it is so seldom talked about.  By definition it is that part of each of us which is often negative and we don’t like to admit to, let alone talk about it.  In myself, I have learned to acknowledge it, love it as part of me, talk freely about it and not act on it.

Perspective

Yesterday, I mentioned fears as being typical of the human condition.  Meaning, fears about getting older, physical problems, surgeries, disabilities, death, etc.  These fears seem to be common to most humans, and, I must admit I have them too.  In me they are only whispers of thoughts that pass through my brain, which I do not take seriously.  The reason I do not take them seriously is that fears are basically meaningless and having them will change nothing.  Additionally, I understand this life to be very short and transient.  I find it better to be at peace with what is happening and keep my focus on the eternal and the absolute of love.

Connection

I attended the second meeting of our Quaker writing group today.  The theme was our current concept of God and how that has changed during our lives.  As before, people shared very deeply and openly, a wonderful connection.  It was notable to me that we all spoke and wrote of the same thing, the same feeling, with subtle differences based on experience and history.  There was a strong feeling of love and connection in the room.  We also spoke of our fears and involvement in the transient human condition, also beautiful, though less enjoyable.

Work, Awareness & Humility

Using a combination of love, mystical guidance, intuition and my training I seem to have a very accurate notion of what is going on with my clients and how to help them.  I also need to put my ego aside.  In order to accomplish the combination I just described, I need to attend to my own physical, emotional and spiritual needs.  So I need to recognize that in order to do what I do, it takes a lot of work, awareness and humility.

Not In Charge

I used to make an effort, daily, to do God’s will and I also made an effort to be of service.  However, I believed that I had some control over my life, that I was in charge to some degree.  Then, three times now, I have been very close to death, on my knees crying and asking for the necessary strength, guidance and support to simply stay alive, everything else had been stripped away.  I made it clear, at those times, that I would commit my life to spreading love and being of service.  I had no idea how much freedom there was in letting go to the degree I have now.  I believe, that the same lack of being in control or in charge is true of most people, as is the importance of love.