Making a Difference

Today, I kept coming back to the phrase I learned early in my recovery process, that "Nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all".  The vast majority of the events of life that I used to worry incessantly about, actually mean little or nothing.  I kept returning to importance of love, spirituality, connectedness in what I say and do.  Those simple concepts keep me busy, fulfilled and nurture that part of me that can make a difference.

God Seed

Maria, my wife, and I attended the Friend’s (Quaker) meeting this morning.  It is good for me to be among people who recognize the importance of love, spirituality, connectedness and the oneness of all things.  They are also concerned and aware that, in some ways, this society/culture has gotten off track, leaving some ideas behind.  I find it reassuring to see evidence of what I call the “God Seed”, that part of each of us that senses the truth and importance of love, spirituality, connectedness for our conduct, decisions and interactions on this planet.

Scientific Imbalance

In the process of developing our scientific knowledge we, in the west particularly, have lost sight of many attitudes and ideas that mankind has had for hundreds and, in some cases, thousands of years, resulting in an imbalance.  As in many cases, the presence of the imbalance causes stress to the system.  I have felt that stress and experienced some of its physical consequences.  The losses include things like the importance of love, spirituality, connectedness and the oneness of all things.  Scientific knowledge is a wonderful thing and it has resulted in many gifts, but it is also limited.

Impact of Love

It is quite clear to me that the thoughts and feelings associated with love have a profound and very real positive impact on physical things.  The, so called, “placebo effect” as well as numerous scientific studies and anecdotal reports make that pretty obvious, though often not acknowledged.  Personally, I make use of that impact daily.  Leading a life based on love rather than fear requires some work and discipline.  It is also clear that noone makes a profit from promoting that sort of life.  To me, it is well worth it.

Strength

The topic for my recovery meeting today was “strength”, something that has been frequently attributed to me in the past.  Certainly not the physical strength and prowess that I relied on in the past, before my disability, but emotional and spiritual strength, presumably because I have dealt with numerous challenges.  As I pointed out during the meeting, a great deal of my apparent strength comes from the fact that I realize that I am not in charge and that I regularly ask for guidance and support, a paradox.

Attitude

A shift in attitude such as what I have written about the last couple of days can make a tremendous difference in the way I feel about life.  Generally, I can view my life as a mundane and somewhat painful ordeal to be tolerated and gotten through, or I can broaden my view a bit and take delight in the process.  Either way, my feelings do not alter what takes place.  One approach is love-based and the other is fear-based.  Today I chose the love-based approach.

Empty Fullness 2

Today, I was gathering together the information needed to calculate my taxes, in preparation for sending it off for the actual calculation.  I was aware that I could certainly view the whole tax process as essentially meaningless government interference and control.  On the other hand, I could take delight in the process and view it as part of the “empty fullness” of life.  If I do the latter then tax preparation becomes as beautiful as the snow falling outside or the birds at my feeders.  I much prefer the latter view, seeing my glass as full rather than half empty or half full.

The Empty Fullness

I have been enjoying meditating today on what I call the “empty fullness” of life.  Appreciation for both aspects certainly adds to my enjoyment of the whole.  On the one hand, most of what goes on in life is meaningless, in an eternal sense; recalling that “nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all”.  On the other hand, I have been taking great delight in watching the antics of the birds at my feeders while also watching the gentle and beautiful snow fall.  It has been a very fine day.

Differences

I notice that people sometimes experience a mild impatience and irritation with me because I don’t seem to care about many of life’s little details that a “responsible individual” would respond to.  I am careful to pay my bills on time and perform other duties that would cause problems if I did not.  However, I do not care about things like material possessions, competing, looking good, wearing the right clothes or showing the proper respect to people because of their position.  I do care very passionately about love, relationships and connectedness; about those things I am very careful.

Acting Out of Love

It is quite clear to me, through my mystical connection and simply being aware, that we humans have done many things that harm each other and the earth we live on, things that do not increase the integrity of the universe or are not loving. In many ways, we continue to do those or similar things, often in the name of progress.  It is also clear to me that our actions are moving in the direction of integrity or love, albeit slowly and often hard to see.  That movement is not quick, fun or easy, but it is happening and I choose to be part of it.