Acceptance & Love

Whether we talk about fracking, decisions on immigration, use of killer whales for financial gain, limiting funding for education or a variety of other topics, it is obvious that the people in charge are not making decisions based on love, connectedness and inclusiveness.  The main driving forces behind their decisions and actions are capital gain, ego and short-term benefit, very fear-based.  On the one hand, their decisions simply reflect their status emotionally and spiritually and I accept that.  On the other hand, I will do everything I can to promote change.

Limitations

As the song says “I play my piano & sing my little song” (Ray Stevens), meaning I do the best I can, as a limited human.  Every morning I tap into eternity & God, things that are beyond my understanding, though I try.  The love and guidance that I find there is something I believe I need to survive.  I was led to that place through the threat of death, pain and desperation.  At times, I wonder if I am deluding myself, but I cannot argue with the results.  I will simply continue.

Nourishing the Love or God Seed

I notice in me that I really have a choice each day of either nourishing my fear-based, disgruntled, projecting side versus my love-based, present, peaceful side.  My choice is often determined by the way I start my day.  If I start my day with a period of prayer and meditation, focusing on peace and love, then I am not consumed with worry about the day-to-day events or news reports.  I simply do my best and take note of the world around me without fretting about it.  My actions don’t necessarily change but my attitude and the way I feel does.

Doing the Right Thing

One of the comments that I often hear is something to the effect that we humans, usually know the right thing to do - we just choose not to do it.  I often observe this also and notice the tendency in myself.  The fact is that there is, usually, some alternative behavior that looks like more “fun” and/or results in short term gain.  That choice looks attractive but is often hollow.  At this point in my life, I tend to do the “right thing” since doing it generally leads to a strong and enduring sense of fulfillment.  Doing the right thing also nourishes the God seed or love part of me, something I wish to do.

Spiritual Arrogance

The topic for today’s recovery meeting was “spiritual arrogance”, a subject I consider very important.  I have a strong program of recovery and I am proud and pleased with the person I have become, in the process.  I also have a strong spiritual connection and usually have a pretty good idea of the right path to take - for me.  When I decide that I know what is right for someone else it usually means that I need to spend more time on self-care and focusing on myself.  I am frequently in a position to advise other people.  It is important for me to remember that I can offer advice, which frequently does not even come from me, and then what others do with that is not up to me.

A Decision

We just got two estimates to do some needed repairs on our roof.  One estimate would be for minimal repairs to a problem section, leaving the rest of the roof as someone else’s eventual problem, assuming we move within the next few years.  The other estimate was for a complete roof job and was about four times the money.  The full roof job “increases the integrity of the universe”, while the partial job does not.  It felt good to go with the full job.  They begin next week.

R. & R.

A good and simple sort of day with minimal heavy and meaningful interaction.  I enjoyed doing a lot of exercising, cooking, resting and eating.  I particularly enjoyed going to my recovery meeting and then going to lunch with another recovering person.  Today was sort of like a very welcome break in my normal activities of intense interaction and a focus on spiritual connection.  I suspect that I needed a break.

Grief

Once again today the theme was death, dying and loss.  As expected, I have been reflecting on the many losses that I have experienced in recent years; grandfather, parents, sister and several mentors.  The feelings and grief process for each loss were different, and what comes to mind is the importance of being open to whatever feeling arises.  I have found it helpful to carry out various activities in order to bring out the feelings. Journaling, talking, writing letters that I burned and various grief ceremonies all helped.

The Whole Picture

This morning, at the Friend’s meeting, people spoke of death, dying, loss and the destruction of our planet, all very real and good reason for concern.  I suggested that they also consider that every thought and behavior also teaches about love and God, bringing us closer to that reality.  I suggested that they look at the whole picture and consider what I call the “empty fullness” of life on this planet.  As many people have pointed out - the purpose of living is learning and growing about love.

Focus

This morning, while leaving the meeting, a friend came up alongside and spoke to me and I stumbled a bit.  He had disrupted my focus on walking.  A fact that I have been very aware of today is that, because of my disability, I need to focus on anything I say or do.  If I lose focus when I walk, I stumble, when I eat, I bite myself, when performing some detailed activity with my hands, I fumble, etc.  This fact of life is a mixed blessing, like many things in life.  It keeps me in the present, but can also be inconvenient, at times.