Who I Am

When I meditate I can connect with who I am rather than what I do.  Who I am is that spiritual entity connected and rooted in love/God/The Absolute.  I am having a physical experience where I do things like paying bills, going to work, owning things, exercising and sleeping.  What I do falls neatly within science, cause and effect, materialism and intellect.  Who I am does not seem to fall neatly anywhere but is closer to the energy concepts of quantum physics.  As quantum physics has discovered, we are almost entirely composed of “empty” space and energy.  Part of that energy is love and if I keep my focus there it changes everything I do and think.

Being All I Can

In order for me to discover and utilize who I really am and what I am capable of, which I commented on yesterday, I keep reflecting back on the words of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj when he said “Get to know that “I am” without words which arises in the morning.  Knowing the Self, abiding in the Self-knowledge, is not a mere intellectual knowing.  You must be that, and you should not move away from it.  Remain firm.” In doing that, I can access the power and truth of the Absolute or God since, as he points out elsewhere, “There is only one state, not two.  When the “I amness” is there, in that consciousness you will have many experiences, but the “I am” and the Absolute are not two”.  Basically then, if I can remain focused and harmonize with love/God, I can be complete.  Pretty simple!

Being Free

I have been contemplating and meditating a lot in order to expand, discover and utilize who I really am and what I am capable of.  I am very much aware of the truth of deCastillejo’s comment that “Scientists discover and theologians affirm; but faced with the mystery of life and death we know almost nothing”.  I am also aware that I confine myself by believing in and being attached to my own story of who I am.  I strive to go beyond what I believe my limitations to be and simply to be free.  More difficult than it sounds.

Expanded Capabilities

I mentioned yesterday that “I have capabilities I did not know I had”.  Most of those capabilities fall within the categories of  physical healing, connections with others or connection with God.  People consider many of the things I do to be impossible.  The fact is that I may be disciplined but I am also nobody special, meaning that other people could probably do the same things, if they worked at it.  I wish to promote others in expanding their capabilities.

Letting The Light Shine

I have been contemplating on the potential impact of the things I have learned about myself and my own abilities.  The words of  Marianne Williamson keep coming to mind “We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."  I have found, through my relationship with God/love, that I have capabilities I did not know I had.  I wish now to be of service to others and encourage them to find out the same thing.

God Seed 2

In my case, I used to be totally focused on money, power, prestige, material possessions and intellectual achievement.  Along with this focus was a fear-based approach to life.  In a nutshell, I went to work and accomplished things because I was afraid of what would happen if I did not.  I was trying to please other people, like my parents, as my primary measure of success.  I felt stress and was “driven” to succeed.  I recognize now that my actions were “feeding” the part of myself that was based on fear.  At this point my focus is on doing the “next right thing”, what is right for me and being in harmony with God/love and the universe.  In short, I now have a very love-based approach to life.  I am now feeding the “God seed”.  Having done them both, I realize that the potential for each is inside me and I also see each in the people around me.  I cannot judge others since I know the potential for each is there and each approach feels very real when using it.

The God/love Seed

Tonight in my recovery meeting I heard a story about moving through anger in response to a situation to love and forgiveness, and not understanding, in a human sense, where the forgiveness came from.  As far as I can tell, we all have that capability inside us, waiting for it to be awakened and nurtured.  I call that part the “God Seed” in each of us, that part that is connected to God/love and is based on love, connectedness, compassion and forgiveness.  I see evidence of that part of us in moving news reports, what goes viral in social media, topics in movies and day to day events.  I also see evidence of the aggressive, fear based part.  I am intimately familiar with each and I now choose the love-based approach.

Forgiveness

I have been struck by the forgiveness response of the parishioners from the Episcopal Church, in Charleston, S.C. where last weeks shooting took place.  It occurs to me that their response fits nicely within the three questions I use to determine my own actions (Would I do this in front of God?; Is it really my responsibility?; Will this increase the integrity of the universe?).  A response of retribution would clearly not increase the integrity of the universe, though it would not be surprising.  Their response increases the amount of love in the world.

Healing Touch

Daily I perform healing touch on myself, funneling loving energy into my hands and then, using intent, to other parts of my body.  I do both a general sweep of my whole body and also target specific areas of concern, like my brain, heart, hearing, skin lesions, cysts and joint problems.  I have had very beneficial results in all of the areas I have just mentioned, avoiding surgery and other complications.  I find that doing the healing is now simply part of my day-to-day activities and that beneficial results are assumed, as part of the life of Charlie.  Recently I have noticed that a sizable lump of scar tissue, which has been there for close to sixty years, has also disappeared, an example of collateral healing, since it was not targeted.  That pleases me.

Limited View

I like the analogy of an armadillo trying to grasp the reality of a car, as being similar to a human being trying to grasp the mystery of life.  The armadillo has very limited vision and can only see, for example, a portion of one tire.  In the armadillo’s case, thinking that the tire is representative of the whole leads to a gross misunderstanding.  Similarly, our understanding of life is likely to be limited and distorted by “nearsighted” vision.  The fact is that we do not know what is good/bad, beneficial or not.  During my meditation time, and during my life in general, events that I once considered bad were clearly beneficial.