Being Lost

We had our monthly men’s group tonight and I spoke of feeling lost, as expressed in the dream I described yesterday.  After I spoke people commented & it seemed apparent that the other members did not understand my feelings, which was not surprising since I did not describe them well.  I don’t really understand either, which is the nature of being lost.  Not surprisingly talking about being lost did help me clarify the feeling.  The fact is that through increasing awareness, meditation and reading I have realized that most of the things in life that I clung to actually meant little or nothing.  Things like material possessions, jobs, performance, cause and effect, ego or specific belief systems mean little or nothing while ethereal things like love and connectedness mean something.  However, the specific words used to describe those ethereal things (quantum physics, science, specific religions or belief systems) do not matter.  That does not leave me with much to hold on to - probably a good thing.

Descriptive Dream

I had a dream in which I was lost and very slowly wandering in a city of mystery, a city where people were very normal and totally occupied with the duties of life, an obvious metaphor for my current existence.  By the end of the dream and by relying heavily on the people I met, I found my way back to the known location I was searching for, my origin.  The interesting part of the dream is that I still felt lost and extremely uncomfortable, while everyone else was just fine, again, very descriptive of my current situation.

Changing Focus

If I focus my attention on the fact that I am disabled, in pain, experiencing emotional turmoil, getting older or any other of a number of unpleasant, earthbound facts of my life, I can certainly feel that life has dealt me some poor cards.  These facts or events of my life are very transient, some would say illusory.  If, however, I change my focus to the eternal sense of “I am”, I can view the same events as very short lived and bringing me closer to love, acceptance and compassion.  The latter is a more long term view that I can arrive at through the processes of detachment and meditation on the wonder of life.

Being Present

This afternoon Maria and I went out to a special location in the Twin Arrows area, nearby.  The spot is on a ridge, having an expansive view, with ruins and a strong spirit presence.  While there, there was a light rain, some wind and wonderful smells.  Because of the wind and rain, for protection I nestled myself within the branches of a small juniper.  I felt a strong connection with that little tree, smelling the scent of the juniper and being wrapped within its branches.  I could also feel a welcoming presence, with no need to understand why, just being present and enjoying the sensations.

Basic Truth

Over the years I have learned of the words of various spiritual leaders like Buddha, Christ, Black Elk, Nisargadata Maharaj and Wolfgang Kopp and realized that they were all talking about the same things, often using different words and with some slight differences due to individual biases.  Reading the words of various mystics like Saint Teresa of Avila, Saint John of the Cross, Thomas Kelly or Neal Donald Walsch, I have come to realize the same thing, often with feelings of great delight.  Similarly, I have come to realize the same when experiencing my own or reading about other’s near death experiences.  More recently I learn of the same underlying truths of life through quantum physics.  The basic truths and power of peace, connectedness, love and inclusiveness do not change, though the words used to express them do.

Science & Spirituality

There are several obvious parallels between the concepts of quantum physics and spirituality, particularly the lack of dualism, the importance of connectedness and the importance of energy fields.  The familiar concepts of Newtonian physics, like cause and effect or separate, independent events are not supportive of the concepts within spirituality, so science is readily seen as separate from spirituality.  Apparently quantum physics underlies Newtonian physics and is also supportive of the concepts within spirituality, suggesting that there is no separation.

Gentle, Loving Laughter

Today in my recovery meeting I mentioned the “gentle, loving laughter” that I found there.  When people talk in those meetings the other people in the meeting frequently laugh, because of identity with the problem or behavior.  There is a strong feeling of connection, caring and love, without criticism or judgement.  I make use of the same laughter or feeling toward myself several times a day, whenever I have foolish or self-centered thoughts and/or behaviors.  I have found that, for myself, harsh criticism and judgement do not promote change.

Being Present

This morning, shortly after dawn, I went out into my backyard.  It was glorious just to be there and be present.  There was a light cool breeze, singing birds, the fresh smell of growing plants and the feeling of a promising new day.  It’s wonderful to be connected to all of that; to have it be part of me, and me be part of it.  The feelings of gratitude, connection and love were strong.

The Power of Love

The recovery meeting today was about making plans within the recovery process.  When I spoke I commented that my future did not look very promising, thinking of the physical probabilities that the medical profession has been telling me will happen for years.  As soon as I said that I felt, strongly, that my future was, in fact, bright and full of promise, so I reversed my stance and said that, though I do not understand what it means.  As I commented in the Friend’s meeting this week, acting out of love, which I do now, changes everything

Acceptance

Today I encountered numerous people who were having large physical and/or emotional challenges or difficulties.  In my own life, I generally treat similar challenges as invitations to get closer to God and transcend.  I have found that I need to begin the process of transcendence with a thorough acceptance of the reality of the challenge or difficulty.  Becoming aware and then accepting the difficulty is an unpleasant but necessary first step.