Joy

Every morning, at dawn this time of year, I go out the back on our deck and experience the "joy of being" along with all of the other plants and animals. The air is usually chilly and full of the moist smells of the beginnings of spring. Birds are just beginning to sing the spring song. I carry that joy and Love with me during the day. I distinguish between joy and pleasure since I have access to joy but cannot do many of the activities associated with pleasure, things like dancing, snow boarding, running or long walks in the woods. There are also many pleasurable activities that I can do such as eating or sitting in the woods but the pleasure is short-lived while the feeling of joy lasts. "Seek not pleasure neither of body nor of soul. This too is a gift, eluding those who seek it, seek God, for He alone is able to give joy, which is infinitely finer than pleasure.

Growth In Love

This morning we had a meeting of our reading group in which we are reading and discussing Healing The Heart Of Democracy: The Courage To Create a Politics Worthy of the Human Spirit, by Parker J. Palmer. He takes a very loving and spiritual approach to democracy which, as I mentioned this morning, many people are not ready for. The recent election and our now president demonstrate that people are continuing to embrace their dark or shadow sides, including judgmentalness, anger, racism, materialism and selfishness. These "urges", as John Yungblut calls them, are part of all humans and, often, part of our movement or growth to a more loving and spiritual approach to life on this planet. "It was the revelation that not only might good be wrought from the darkness of the unformed abyss, the unconscious, but that part of the very energy of the evil urge in man, if one would but wrestle with it, as had Jacob with the angel, would yield its own peculiar blessing." It is my hope that we can continue without destroying the earth we depend on. "It is not that the demonic forces within the unconscious are not capable of destruction and disintegration. It is rather that within the mystery of the conjunction of opposites their sting can be drawn, their poison drained, and their very energy harnessed to realize a more profound individuation.

Bodhisattva

Each week I go to four recovery meetings and two or more Friend’s meetings for worship. During each of them I envelope myself in the Love of Spirit as well as broadcasting and teaching what I have learned, acting as a Bodhisattva, in Buddhist terms. In the past decades I have given up or surrendered many aspects of ego or worldly desires in order to enhance my connection with the Source and benefitted tremendously. I now encourage other to do the same. "To get we must also give, to advance we must also surrender, to gain we must lose, to attain we must resign. From the nature of things life means choice and selection, and every positive choice negates all other possibilities."(Rufus Jones)

Inner Silence

I have been taking daily thyroid medication (T3 & T4) for at least the last decade — until about two weeks ago when I stopped due to the lack of availability and a subsequent shift in medication. For now, my body seems to really appreciate being medication-free, a condition which could certainly change over the next few weeks. For now my blood pressure is down. I have a good level of energy, my strength is good and my coordination is minutely better. More importantly I have greater clarity during meditation and my conscious contact has improved. I am more able to go past and ignore the worldly part of the clamor. "From everywhere [including my own clamor!], it seems, we are bombarded with the idea that our nature is innately violent, that our chief preoccupation is with our sexuality, and that our main purpose in life is the acquirement of ever more nifty possessions.......Indeed, if is only through the practice of inner silence that we can begin to disentangle ourselves from our culture and its illusions." I am more able to achieve inner silence and listen.(Seeger)

Humility

For me, the last month or so has been a time of introspection and rest, a period of personal inventory, much needed. I can’t say that the introspection has been "dark" because the light and love have always been present, but some of the personal observations have been unpleasant. For example, I keep realizing for varied circumstances just how self-centered I am, even to the point of selfishly enjoying the feeling of selflessly giving to others. Personal inventory is very good for my humility! In the words of Gilbert Kilpack from Our Hearts Are Restless, "To resign one’s self to the fact that one must travel much in the dark and be greatly sifted and tossed about is an inevitable step in the way of spiritual growth." He goes on to say "Seek Him we must, with a headlong love, with enthusiasm and romantic ardor, but also with lowliness and patience, and that is a hard combination.". Time to meditate, explore and be Charlie.

Limit of Science

Rufus Jones, who wrote during the first half of the 20^th century, laments the fact that belief in science, reductionism and the scientific method was eclipsing the higher order, intrinsic and eternal ideals within humanity. In my opinion, that belief is much truer today, roughly one hundred years later. There is an imbalance between science or reductionism and spirituality, favoring science. Personally, I used to be a devotee of belief in intellect and am now quite aware of the void it leaves, the depth and meaning of life that belief leaves out. There is no question of the huge benefits we have gleaned from science — but it is limited. "The supreme attitudes too of a personal mind such, for instance, as conviction of truth, or joy in beauty, or awe in the presence of sublimity, or dedication to goodness for its own sake, or the personal surrender of all selfish interests for the sake of exalted love, are realities of an order quite different from changes in the orbit of a planet or from any movement of masses of matter in space."(Jones)

Loving Action

There is a fellow who attends the recovery meeting I go to on Mondays who is new to recovery, burps, farts, is loud and socially inappropriate in that he does not respond to social ques. I can also see the Love, God and well meaning in him just below the unpleasant surface. The human part of me is obnoxed by him and the God part would like to lovingly help him with his difficulties. He has not asked for my assistance so I keep to myself. "Whenever spirit appears, even in the finite form of our own personal minds, it always outreaches and goes beyond its given expression and embodiment. We always transcend ourselves. We always live beyond our margins. We leap beyond anything that is — the here and now — and we are by the necessity of our being concerned with a more yet that ought to be."

Understanding Is Not Required

Last Friday, January 19^th, having just parked our car outside the location of our recovery meetings, I noticed a beautiful but deadly adult female black widow spider in the middle of the sidewalk right in front of our car. After confirming the presence of a red "hourglass" on her underside, Maria transported her to a better location. I am not the least bit superstitious, but this is a highly unusual occurrence (adult female web-spinning spider wandering far from any web, mid January, around forty degrees, the middle of the sidewalk in front of my car) so it got my attention. It is not reasonable or logical, but it could be a sign or symbol indicating that there are dangerous waters ahead and I should be careful. "To understand better the value of silence in daily life, and its relation to this spiritual transformation for which we yearn, it is useful first to consider the limitation of language, of words.......It is next useful to contemplate the limitations of logical reasoning."(Daniel A. Seeger)

Holistic Health

According to the gospel of Thomas, Jesus said, "Let the one who seeks not stop seeking until he finds. When he finds he will become troubled; when he becomes troubled, he will be astonished and will rule over all things." Due mainly to the challenges of my alcoholism, pain and disability I have been led to a deep exploration of self, various spiritual traditions and life in general and I have, indeed, found what I found to be troubling and disillusioning. With respect to my own life, I have encountered power and abilities I did not know I had, especially in the area of health. I am still exploring my own capabilities and trying not to hold myself back. The medical professionals that I have seen just tell me to "keep doing whatever your doing".

Spiritual Path

today I spent some time watching about a third of the movie Never Go Back with Tom Cruise as Jack Reacher. The movie is a silly action, adventure with a standard plot line which I found to be very enjoyable and a bit amusing. I needed a distracting break from my "strenuous " pursuit of spirituality and the movie fit the bill. After my watching the movie Maria, my wife, commented that she had come to appreciate the quiet of a "media free" environment and I told her that in the future I would only watch movies when she was not here. I later commented that it was important for this to be a "retreat house" for each of us, if we were to each continue our lives of service and spiritual connection. "To undertake to live a discerned life, to endeavor daily to be attuned to authentic movements of the Spirit leading us into greater fullness of life, is a strenuous undertaking."