Beginning My Day Pre-dawn

Why get up at the insane hour of 2:00 A.M.?  The short, and somewhat glib, but true answer is because that is the time I am awakened and urged to start my prayer and meditation.  The fact is I never use an alarm and once when I was on heavy medication that should have kept me under for several more hours, I still woke up/was awakened at that time.  I am then ready to start my day and unable to get back to sleep.  When I was working full time, I only got up at 4-5:00.
A longer, and more complete answer is that the pre-dawn hours are a sacred time, for me and others.  Walsch puts it well, when he writes: “In the stillness, you will find your true being.  In the silence you will hear the breathing of your soul ---- and of God.  I have told you many times, and I tell you here again: You will find Me in the stillness.”  (Communion with God, by Neale Donald Walsch).  In short, it is when I make my best connection with life, my own soul and God.  I also find that if I start my day that way, I can carry it with me through the day.

Human Potential

Two days ago I spoke of re-introducing a young man to B2B and my doubts about the outcome of that process.  I used my connection and faculties carefully and well.  I felt strongly that my approach was right for all those concerned.  I just did not know what the outcome would be.  As is often the case, the action was up to me but the outcome was not.  I found out today that it was a very positive experience for all, with an outcome that far exceeded my hopes.
I was working with the same young man today.  We were talking about some alternative healing techniques and touched on the Noetic Sciences, which promote alternative healing and the general development of human potential.  My day-to-day practices, mentioned above, and my use of alternative healing techniques, remind me that human potential is way beyond what we think it is.  I think I just scratch the surface and the results frequently blow me away.  I also know that the main things that hold me back are me and my beliefs.

Beyond My Understanding

Earlier in the week a friend told me that he had connected with his soul/essence during meditation, as I had suggested he do.  He said that he received some information that was very profound, but he did not remember what it was, a feeling I am very familiar with.  It feels like the information is more than my conscious mind can handle and that the content cannot be expressed using the words and concepts that I know.
I had that feeling in the lodge tonight.  I was warned/told that something would happen to get my attention and that I should be alert and receptive (I have to admit that part of me thought “oh no!!”).  The first stone that came in landed in the pit right in front of me, split open to show its heat and redness and almost left the pit in my direction.  It scared me and definitely got my attention.  Once that happened, I spent the rest of the lodge experiencing the feeling I described in the previous paragraph.  I have complete confidence that the information I received will change my behavior and that I may understand it some day.  Good enough for me!

Prayer & Meditation in the Morning

In the meeting tonight, as is often the case, it was acknowledged that spending time doing some sort of meditative activity like dog walking or sitting, just after getting up, even if only for a few minutes, sets a very positive and peaceful tone for the day.  Starting the day with some sort of prayer and meditation.  Hearing that at meetings is why I started doing it and I certainly agree that beginning my day that way, changes my day dramatically.  It was also widely acknowledged that most people either do not do it or struggle with it.  For example, they set their alarm a bit early and when it goes off they press the pause button until it is too late to take the time for peaceful meditation.  What I just described puzzles me a bit.  What I did was recognize the benefits of beginning my day with prayer and meditation and disciplined myself to do it.  Now I enjoy it and do it each day, without questioning.

Placebo Effect

Today I returned, once again, to the psychic healer that I go to in Oak Creek Village, near Sedona.  I was also reflecting on what most people refer to as the “placebo effect”, that results when trials are performed on potential medications.  It’s the effect that taking a sugar pill can have on the body, if a person believes that pill to be the actual medication.  To many people the placebo effect is just thought of a the imaginary effect of a sugar pill.  To me it simply demonstrates that the mind can and does have an effect on the physiological processes going on in the body.  I go to the psychic healer because another person’s mind, like the healer, can also impact on my own physiological processes.  We are connected.
I usually use a guided meditation of a lemon for the recovering people I work with.  In that meditation, I have them visualize a ripe, juicy lemon, which I have them cut into quarters and then bite down on.  The effect is almost always increased salivation and often being able to smell the lemon or have their mouth pucker up.  It is only a thought, there is no lemon, yet they have a strong and noticeable physiological response.  The response is not imaginary, though I find that some people think of it that way.
I have been using the placebo effect for many years to my benefit!

A Quiet Day

A quiet day of exercise, introspection and interaction with Maria, my wife.  I did my regular getting up at 2:00, spiritual activities until 4:00 and zoning until 6:00.  I spent the rest of the morning exercising, interspersed with computer work.
My introspection involved several periods of meditation and contemplation.  At first I checked myself for any fears or other feelings that I was trying to hide from.  I encountered minimal fear, some impatience with my disability, gratitude that my disability is as minor as it is and some self-doubt about the actual impact of the things I do, an interesting mix of feelings.  Most of my meditative time is spent on sorting through the events of the last several days.  I do this last by allowing my consciousness to drift over the events in an unstructured and non-sequential way.  I just observe the feelings come and go, without grasping or pushing them away.
I realize now that I interact with Maria in much the same way that I do my meditation and contemplation.  I don’t talk much since talking is difficult for me, but during the day we touch on a variety of topics, usually briefly.  I let the thoughts and feelings come and go without grasping or pushing them away.

Scientific Reality Versus Intuitive Reality

At my recovery meeting today one of my friends brought up that he was now beginning to explore his intuitive, psychic side, after spending his life believing only in the linear, logical, cause and effect side.  I congratulated and encouraged him!  I have a Ph.D. and was trained as a scientist to only really consider that logical, linear, cause and effect side.  One of the primary reasons I moved on from that approach was the realization that science was very practical, but could only elucidate a small portion of reality.  I wanted to explore, understand and live in a world that included things I could not “see, touch, feel”.  Trying to apply scientific inquiry to the intuitive, psychic, faith based side, simply does not work, much of the time.  They each represent different paradigms.  Each is quite real and valid, within its limits.  The intuitive, psychic, faith based side has saved my life and is largely responsible for making my life fulfilling.  I use them both, daily and at different times.

Universal Conduit

Some time ago, I was watching the movie Constantine, starring Keanu Reeves and he referred to water as the “universal conduit”.  That particular line/message really stood out to me during the movie and I knew to pay attention.  I have found water to be a very good conduit to “All That Is’, God or whatever you wish to call it.  I use the hot tub as part of my 2:00 A.M. morning ritual.  I find it really effective for personal healing and connection with God.  Partly because of the time of day and partly because of the conduit property of the water, that soak is my strongest meditation and connection each day.  I look forward to it.

Dealing With Fear

I spent a good portion of the day identifying and dealing with/feeling fear.  I experienced a visceral, almost nauseating feeling that something major, on a broad scale and extremely unpleasant is about to happen.  As usual, my fear is that I will not be able to cope with the change when/if it comes.  I generally refer to my fear as “galloping fear”, since it can basically fasten to anything (finances, relationships, future events, etc.).  Again, as usual, the fear feels very real, and I treat it as real, but the fact is that it has no real substance.  The event may not happen and the fear only happens in advance, when I think about the coming event, never when I am actually going through it. What I do is go into meditation, focus on the fear and let it flood my body, a very unpleasant feeling.  The feeling is very familiar at this point and I just let it go on until it dissipates.  The feeling is very strong and real, it is also illusory.

Connections

I have been carefully molded, that is clear.  In many ways I am different than my peers and in other ways, I am just like them.  I walk in two worlds, this transient one, and the “other side”, the eternal one.  Many people have walked this path before and I thank them for their guidance.  I “play my piano and sing my little song”, meaning I go on being Charlie.
I just met briefly with one of my sponsees.  I was instantly, totally focused and connected with him and God.  It was not something I tried to do.  It happened automatically with no volition on my part.  At other times, I have actually tried to resist this sort of transition, thinking I was too tired.  I could not.  It is a magical experience and profound healing can and does take place.  Others feel it to and respond thinking I am doing it.  I am just being a listening conduit to God.  I also sweat profusely, my nose runs and it is exhausting to do it more than a couple of hours without a break.