Faith

In less than two weeks my wife and I will be moving to Maryland with the primary purpose being so that I can work with the population there concerning the contents of my book. I am not certain exactly what form that will take, but it will probably involve my presenting workshops of some kind. Presenting those workshops will unquestionably be a physical challenge for me, which does concern me. What does concern me is the spiritual challenge and I don’t even know what that will be. During meditation I feel confident that the necessary guidance and support will be there.

Compromise

The topic for today’s recovery meeting was "compromise". During the meeting I commented that there were some things, like following my spiritual path or the use of drugs/alcohol, that I would simply not compromise on. However, most things, like money or material possessions, are not very important to me and I will compromise on them. I find it amusing that during the moving process which I am now in the middle of I encounter many opportunities to compromise about selling, getting rid of or keeping various items. My initial response is almost always a vigorous and vehement wish to keep my possessions, I am attached. I then relax and compromise.

Following Guidance

As I mentioned yesterday, recently I have been flooded with memories and reminders of what I have accomplished, grown and learned here in Flagstaff, mostly about giving and receiving love. Because of that, some part of me wishes to stay, but also knows that I will not. The climate here also suites me, with pleasant seasons, pleasing temperatures, dryness and lots of sun. In moving to Maryland I will be going to a place of dense population, heat and high humidity, but, as I said earlier today, "I am not doing this for me". I am doing this as my best effort to follow "Higher Power’s will" for me.

Transition

I have a very definite feeling of completion/ending for the Flagstaff area and my impact on the people here, together with an excitement for the things to come. I hope I am up to the challenge! For the last several weeks the universe has been reminding me of my impact. Several people in my recovery meetings have brought up my impact on them or their children. I have also had the grown-up children that I have worked with approach me and ask if I remembered them. Several people have approached me and asked about vision quests or sweat lodges and others have brought up the "black Charlie Horton" I mentioned at the end of last month. The reminders evoke a feeling of gratitude and sadness at moving on.

Connection

I was just watching videos on Facebook of humans interacting with a variety of domestic and "wild" animals using love, respect, gratitude and connection, very moving. The interactions had an obvious effect on the attitudes and behaviors of both the givers & receivers of each interaction, making it clear that we are all one and that giving and receiving are the same. As various indigenous people have shown me, we have that same relationship with everything and everybody. I suspect the reason that I find it so moving is that I know it’s true and I choose to act accordingly.

Transformation

Many people have asked me why I am planning to move. The unspoken, but very real, part of that question is since I am disabled, 67 and should be quietly retiring. The answer is that I sense a "calling" to go back east to a massive population and spread the word of transforming through love, compassion, understanding and connectedness. In short, I want to change the world. The comments by Borg about Christ sum it up very well; "Rather, he was a spirit person, subversive sage, social prophet, and movement founder who invited his followers and hearers into a transforming relationship with the same Spirit he himself knew, and into a community whose social vision was shaped by the core value of compassion."

Allowing

Today it seemed that events surrounding the coming changes were happening very quickly and that we were moving closer to our leaving date. The people who are buying our house came by to take a final look and make plans on where to put various of their possessions. They have also made the last of their financial arrangements. We have made final arrangements to sell our truck and give away some last items we will not need. We have also made our final arrangements for the coming move with our moving company. My role is to take the necessary action, allow events to take place and enjoy the ride

Surrender

The topic for the recovery meeting today was "surrender", specifically to the disease of alcoholism and then the following of "God’s will", both simple but not easy. I have worked very hard at surrendering all aspects of my life, asking for guidance and then doing the next right thing. The reason for my approach is that it gives me a lot of peace. For example, with the coming changes in living location and career I just assume I will be given the necessary guidance and that everything will work out.

Material Things

Tonight I worked for a while on firming up some of the joints in our dining room chairs in preparation for moving. The chairs are hand made, kitchen, Windsor side chairs made of mixed woods and are a little less than two hundred years old. They are a set of five (used to be six) that I purchased at an auction many years ago because they were cheap and no-one wanted them. They were in rough, as is, condition. I really like them because they were obviously made with care, respect for the qualities of the different types of wood and by hand. It is also obvious that they have each had a varied, rich and difficult at times life. I respect and enjoy their presence.

Faith

I ventured, for a time, into very human feelings of loss, grief, anticipation and worry about the changes that are now taking place in my life and possible future outcomes and challenges. I was preoccupied with potential or real events from the past or future. In any case my feelings took me out of the present. Right now I choose to be in the present and also have the confidence or faith that the future will turn out well, if I pay attention and do the next right thing.