Love

Today, in addition to the regular activities of a recovery meeting, weeding and exercising, Maria and I went to visit our niece and nephew and their new baby. The baby was, of course, adorable and just learning to walk. What was remarkable to me was the amount of love we were all expressing toward the baby and that she was beaming back at us. That love obviously promotes the growth and well being of all. The love was a marked contrast to what I saw through the families I worked with in Catholic Services or what I personally grew up with. The love was wonderful to experience.

Humanity

For the last several entries in this blog I have described some of the considerable effort I go to in order to maintain my health, sense of well being and spiritual connection and, in addition, I find myself mildly irritated by people who would like the same benefits but will not put in the effort. The reason I am irritated is that I also wish I did not have to put in so much effort. Having done so I can say that the results are well worth the effort so I will continue. But it is notable that the thoughts are still there! "We want to be spiritually alive, but also to be comfortable; to be prayerful, but not to rise early in the morning to pray; to possess power to lead, but not to undergo the discipline that it takes to control the power." (Gilbert Kilpack)

Holistic Healing

In order to remain functional and mentally at my best I exercise most days in spite of the lack of coordination and pains associated with my disability. I do some exercise six days a week and a full range on three or four of those days. The full range consists of an exercise bike, free weights, calisthenics and a treadmill and takes two to three hours. Minor muscle and joint pain results from the muscles not working smoothly together (like they used to!). If I do not exercise the pain quickly gets worse. While exercising I focus my thoughts on harmony, love and gratitude. It is a lot of effort but it works for me.

Practice

I lead a life of compassion, love and service which is modeled after what I understand of Christ, yet many would not consider me to be Christian since I do not accept Christ as my one and only savior who can and does forgive me for my sins. I am also not Quaker though I do attend Quaker meetings since I benefit from the silent worship I find there. It seems to be important that I have no religious or spiritual affiliation. Having no affiliation is important for me since I can listen during meditation with minimal bias. Having no affiliation is also important since it shows that the membership is not important but the compassion, love and service is. I am Charlie and my devotion is total.

Being Present

What a glorious day! It was a beautiful spring day and I attended a recovery gathering of several hundred people, which took me out of my comfort zone of avoiding crowds. At the closing of the meeting everyone moved to form a line around the perimeter of the large room we were in. As usual I moved very slowly and people gently nudged me out of the way and kept going around me joining the line and holding hands. One young man noticed that I was having a difficult time and was being excluded so he made it a point to break the chain and make room for me. A bit later the same young man held a heavy spring loaded door open for me and inquired if I was alright. I thanked him for noticing me.

Connection

I had another day with multiple, intense, loving connections, some therapeutic and some more casual and incidental. As Irene Claremont deCastillejo wrote "For there to be a meeting, it seems as though a third, a something else, is always present. You may call it Love, or the Holy Spirit. Jungians would say that it is the presence of the Self. If this 'Other' is present, there cannot have failed to be a meeting." The actual circumstances of the meeting do not seem to matter when there is love present. It amazes me how much healing can take place in a short time when that sort of connection is made. "Great deeds can only be achieved when we are more than our little selves. When we are lent wings we should not reject them." (Irene Claremont deCastillejo)

Death

Today I was able to talk with someone about the glorious process of death and dying. She had the privilege of helping someone else die, a sacred activity. I was able to speak of the fact that the transition of death was a very special part of life. We also spoke of the human feeling of loss, the eternal and temporal. It was a good conversation and reminder. "The pure in heart know that when the Kingdom of the Spirit is seen in all its beauty and desired with a single will, then order is brought out of confusion."(Gilbert Kilpack)

God's Will

My writings in this blog are a good example of the manner in which I follow God’s will in my life. What I do each night before writing is to sift through the events of my day, in meditation, and select the topics that stands out as the correct one for me to contemplate and write about. I do much the same process all day to decide my chosen path or "the next right thing". Using this technique I end up doing what is best for me and following God’s will for me. As I have told my spouse "I always do what I am told". "God must have an instrument — an organ is perhaps a better word — for the revelation of His love and tenderness, just as his physical energies must have their coordinator and transmitter." (Rufus Jones)

Gratitude

I just feel grateful for my life as it is, having gone to a recovery meeting and listened to the difficulties of several newcomers and a couple of people who have been around a while. Right now my life is floating along smoothly but I spoke briefly of struggling with various commonly used psychoactive substances, like coffee and cigarettes, and my addictive tendencies. I eventually gave them up in addition to alcohol   The newcomers were all dealing with basic early recovery issues and the regulars were dealing with life’s little speed bumps. I am grateful for life going smoothly right now – it could be a lot worse.

Growth

Two days ago I wrote about my own ego struggles with "the bondage of self" which I did in order to demonstrate that I have all of the normal self-centered weaknesses, frailties and tendencies. I am aware of my human weaknesses but laugh at and/or ignore them rather than giving in and then I do the loving, other-directed thing anyways. Moving beyond the weaknesses requires some discipline — but gets easier every time I do it. "One by one we move beyond conceptions of ourselves, just as we pass beyond metaphors, symbols, and conceptions of God on the way into unmediated, unknowing, intimate relationship with the source of our being." (Patricia Loring)