Awareness

For decades now I have been seeking, learning and growing, quite a process. In most (all?) cases I go through idealized ideas toward disillusion, increased awareness and joy. I had an idealized view of what it was to be human and Charlie followed by introspection, alcoholism, disability and, finally, joy and fulfillment. During my path I stumbled across numerous frailties and weaknesses that I now cherish as parts of me. I have gone through a similar process and sequence with my beliefs about Native Americans, believing them to be very spiritual, discovering their humanness and coming to embrace the whole picture. I am now going through the same process regarding the world of spirits. "Jesus said, ‘Let the one who seeks not stop seeking until he finds. When he finds he will become troubled; when he becomes troubled, he will be astonished and will rule over all things.’" (gospel of Thomas)