Feelings

In the distant past I felt anger, hurt and judgment all of the time without understanding the feelings much at all. Then came recovery and those feelings gradually gave way to putting the anger, hurt and judgment in my past and becoming aware that they came from growing up years. Those feelings were then replaced with love and gratitude for everything and everyone, as I talk about in my book. For the last two years the feelings of love and gratitude have been there and dominant but also complicated by flashes of anger, hurt and judgment. For example, I might feel anger and judgment if someone is rude or socially inappropriate, quickly replaced by feelings of love for that person. Another example is that I can feel momentarily hurt when someone brushes me aside or ignores me then feel the love. I keep thinking of George Fox feeling very human weaknesses and then the Lord explaining that it was needful that he "should have a sense of all conditions’. How else should he learn ‘to speak to all conditions?" I sense that it is now time to move on and stop feeling even a flash of anger, hurt and judgment - just love, understanding and compassion. What comes next, I do not know.