Rainmaker Ideal

Today, I sent out another query e-mail to a literary agency in my continuing effort to gain a literary agent for my writing and I find that I am scared because, for some reason, I think this effort will succeed. I am scared that I am not up to the task it represents in terms of my own behavior. I have followed what I call the "Rainmaker Ideal" for years and found its impact on me and everyone I contact to be amazing. Irene Claremont deCastillejo originated the ideal and describes it well; "In those rare moments when all the opposites meet within a man, good and also evil, light and also darkness, spirit and also body, brain and also heart, masculine focused consciousness and at the same time feminine diffuse awareness, wisdom of maturity and childlike wonder; when all are allowed and none displaces any other in the mind of a man, then that man, though he may utter no word is in an attitude of prayer. Whether he knows it or not his own receptive allowing will affect all those around him; rain will fall on the parched fields, and tears will turn bitter grief to flowering sorrow, while stricken children dry their eyes and laugh."  My book and writing reflect the rainmaker ideal as does my life in general and I don’t want to lose that. She expresses my concern nicely when she goes on to write "If we can resist the compulsive pressure of our logical thinking, without relinquishing our precious heritage of lucid thought; if we can hold our ground with our own hardly won ego personalities, yet bow our heads and say, 'Thy will not mine be done'; if we will but notice the reactions of our bodies; and heed the behaviour of the world towards us; if we can learn to listen to the voices within and to the whisper in the wind, with trust as well as with discrimination, we may be able to follow the road where the Rainmaker walks."