Life

Today during meditation I heard "you are not worthy", specifically not worthy of my connection with God, the work I do with other people and the work I do with spirits, a message from my troubled and tumultuous past. This message which was strictly within myself was accompanied by an increase in joint and back pain. Not surprisingly, at almost seventy, I am tired of dealing with my past — sigh. In my meditation I acknowledged the feelings, felt them as strongly as I could (extremely unpleasant!) and let them pass, knowing they had no validity. After a brief increase in intensity, my pain lessened. Life is good, a bit weird but good. "He should learn to remain in God’s presence with a loving attention and a tranquil intellect", even though this seems like idleness to him. Soon he will find little by little that a "divine calm and peace with a wondrous, sublime knowledge of God, enveloped in divine love, will be infused into his soul". (St. John of the cross)