Projection

I notice some time ago that when I thought about someone I would be acutely aware of the things they were not doing for their own lives or recovery, then when I was with the same person I felt only love for them and had only constructive thoughts which depended on their interests, not mine.  I would let them know if I saw a problem only if they asked.  In other words, I “set the bar” according to them.  Today I realized that my thoughts of them were purely a projection of thoughts of myself, that I set that bar high for me — not them.