Awareness

Today, I was reminded that we are all part of the love and eternity of the Absolute or God, whether we know it, like it, feel it or not.  We are part of it and it is part of us.  Some of us get to sense that on a regular basis, through meditation and daily awareness, a feeling that I depend on.  Others of us only get occasional and memorable glimpses during special times and in special places.  All I can do is to continue to “play my little piano and sing my little song”, while also enjoying the journey.

Acceptance

The topic for today’s recovery meeting was “acceptance”, which has been very important for me.  Historically, I have not done acceptance gracefully.  It took many years for me to accept that my drinking was not normal.  Then when the constant spastic muscles of my disability began, I tried to fight with them, resulting in greater spasticity.  It took me years to realize that my approach did not work.  At this point I simply accept the life I am given, act accordingly  and go on my peaceful way.

Healing

The holistic approach I use for my own physical healing requires a high degree of awareness, self-honesty and discipline, an approach that most people avoid.  My approach begins by “being with” the problem, embracing it, rather than fighting or treating the problem as the enemy, requiring the  awareness and self-honesty.  It is then possible to work with the problem using things like unconditional love, visualization or hands-on healing, requiring discipline.  The advantages to the approach are that it’s free and it is independent of outside entities.

Boundaries

It was clear to me today, just how fragile my attitude of love, faith, peace & serenity is.  I am not judging myself, just taking note and I should also admit that my tiredness after the retreat adds to the apparent fragility of my attitude.  What happened was that I downloaded a file on to my computer and that file got past my system defenses to alter the default search engine (I switched it back).  The important part of that is someone intentionally crossed my boundaries and imposed something on me.  It was also a simple and expected act of capitalism, which I took personally, good for my humility!  It’s best to take note, let it pass and return to an attitude of love, faith, peace & serenity.

Limitations

This was a day when I needed to recognize that participating and guiding the retreat, wonderful as it was, wore me out.  I slept, exercised, cleaned my car and ate extremely nutritious, low fat, high fiber food.  I also did minimal connecting and working with clients.  It was a day of recognizing my limitations and staying within them, very important for continued being of service.

Affirmation & Service

I just completed several days of guiding and participating in a spiritual retreat along the shore of the Sea of Cortez, in Playa Miramar Mexico.  It was a time of intense personal connection and interaction, not to mention the wonderful accommodations and location.  For me, one very important aspect of the retreat was a clear affirmation of the things I have learned and the person I have become.  Over and over, during the weekend, I spoke of and demonstrated myself, with a return expression of love, support and respect by the other participants.  It was also a weekend of being of service to them, a definite win-win.

Validation

Through my meditation and life experience I have come to know many new, strange and wonderful things.  I am referring to things like oneness, the power of love, the Absolute or God place and eternity versus the created aspects of life.  Life is not nearly as simple as I once thought.  I am very grateful for the writings of Saint Teresa of Avila, Saint John of the Cross, Jack Kornfield, Pema Chodron, Rolling Thunder, Black Elk, Wolfgang Kopp, Nisargadatta Maharaj, The Dalai Lama and a variety of others.  They are/were all spiritual seekers who have known and experienced similar things.  Their writings help me to realize that my experiences and meditations have some validity.

Fears Versus Love

It is my understanding that, to some degree, fear is a normal part of the human condition.  We seem to have some choice in how to deal with that fear.  In my case, I have some fears over many of the things that I do or say.  Frequently those fears revolve around the possibility of being misunderstood or what people will think of me.  I simply feel the fears, let them pass and attempt to act out of love not fear.  To me, fear feels murky or cloudy, while love feels clear.  Meditation helps me arrive at clarity.

Presence

We went to Wapatki today, a place of ruins and high desert.  While there we meditated, did a ceremony, smoked the pipe and I could feel the presence and power of God, love and the spirits.  As I told Maria, it is doing that sort of thing when I feel most at home.  There was little talk and no distraction of any kind - just presence and connection, good feelings.  In order for me to appreciate such things, it has been necessary for me to wade through my own brain chatter and give up many distractions.

Letting Your Light Shine

Many years ago, I set as my goal, to change the world, an ambitious goal.  Since then I have realized that in order to accomplish that goal, I needed to maximize and realize my own potential, a task that I am not good at.  I have realized the truth in what Williamson wrote; "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”  She goes on to say that “We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.”  I have found the process to be difficult.  I find that I am most comfortable holding myself back some and keeping a low profile.