Acting In a Sacred Manner

I attempt to do everything I do in what a Lakota would say was a sacred manner, which, for me, means that I act according to the three questions (1. Would I do this in front of God?; 2. Is my name really on it?; 3. Will this increase the integrity of the universe?).  These questions lead me to act in a loving manner with respect for everything and everybody.  Acting in this manner initially required a great deal of focus but has now become a habit or natural for me.  I find living in this manner to be very fulfilling.  I also will admit quite freely that I often have selfish or self-centered thoughts, which I usually do not act on and, when I do, I apologize.

The Spirit World

In my book I speak of “being in the world but not of it” and I also frequently comment that “I walk in two worlds”, meaning I am conscious of existing within what is commonly called the spirit world and also the material/physical or mundane world.  I am comfortable with my orientation and I am very much aware that each world nourishes and supports the other.  I understand that most people get what I call “glimpses” of the spirit world or eternal and that I get a great deal more than that.  Recently, due to the necessity of promoting my book, my focus has been more on the material world than I am used to, requiring an adjustment.  I am attempting to make that shift while maintaining the unconditional love I found in the eternal.

Letting Go

We had a meeting of our writing/spirituality group at the Friend’s meeting house today.  At the meeting there was a great deal of talk about the sweat lodge we used to have on our property.  That lodge was a major part of our lives for about fifteen years and during that time the experiences around the lodge and associated spirits taught me a great deal about unconditional love and healing.  Taking down that lodge and moving on was difficult and necessary.  I suspect it will be time for another lodge soon.  I need not totally understand the process but moving on and letting go is an important part of growth.

Judging

The other day I attended a staff meeting at the place that gives me most of the referrals I work with.  During the meeting my conclusions and observations concerning one of my clients were questioned.  I did not say anything, other than indicating that they were valid questions.  However, inside I was on the attack, questioning the importance of the questions, thinking “how dare they” and judging them harshly.  I am not the person I would like to be, yet, but at least I remained quiet.

Change

My body seems to know that changes are approaching in my life.  My body feels like it is standing on shifting sands, a feeling that could be exciting but right now I just feel uneasy.  I suspect that my unconscious mind knows what is going on, while my conscious mind does not.  I have attempted to find out through meditation and I do get the sense that my book is at the center of the change, but other than that I just get a strong feeling that the “universe is unfolding as it should”, a very reassuring feeling.

Maintaining Resolve

In my recovery meeting tonight the question came up of how we maintain our resolve or intent.  I realized that my main tool for maintaining my resolve is that I don’t participate in behaviors that pull me away or compromise that resolve.  I lead a very spiritually focused life of peace, love, connectedness and compassion, which I really like.  I can’t say that I resolve or have resolved to lead that sort of life, I just realize what I need to do and then do it.  Meaning I stay detached from unnecessary personal drama, choose to not own a TV or listen to much radio and practice a lot of prayer and meditation.

Gratitude

This morning I was walking from my car to the Sunday morning Friend’s (Quaker) meeting and I paused to feel the light cool fall breeze, smell the Fern bush and feel the warm Flagstaff (7,000 ft. altitude) sun.  I felt a lot of gratitude for the moment.  It’s not that I do not have physical challenges, I do, but even they could be and have been a lot worse.  It has been a quiet day of gratitude, paying a few bills, exercise, cooking and interacting with others, primarily, Maria, my wife.

Self-care

  For some reason, which I am still not totally clear of, I felt off kilter or off balance for much of the day today.  Nothing particular happened to throw me off, though I have been stirred up over the requirements of book promotion lately.  For today my response was to have a lot of alone time in order to meditate and sort things out.  I noted some tendency to find a distraction like facebook so that I did not have to simply feel the discomfort.  Self-care requires that I be present for myself.

Reality 2

I keep getting an image from yesterday’s predator-prey interactions.  The image is of a beautiful female cooper’s hawk watching as a very handsome raven devours her prey, a pigeon.  I am reminded of a comment by Melody Beattie, that "It's about swallowing pride and fear and having the guts and the tenacity to have faith when we've been stripped of naivete and shaken to the core---and when we know too well that life isn't just mysterious and unpredictable, it can be unbearably cruel and breathtakingly wondrous, sometimes at the same time."  Life is very real, beautiful and harsh.

Reality

Today was a very intriguing and engrossing day, which I am not done processing.  There were the regular events like connecting and interacting with clients and others.  I also performed several activities around the promotion of my book.  However, what really got my attention happened in my backyard around my bird feeder.  I was watching a group of pigeons when a male cooper’s hawk swooped in and took one of the pigeons.  While he was devouring the pigeon the neighbor’s cat chased him away in an effort to take the pigeon.  I had noticed a pile of feathers the previous day and assumed that cat had gotten a pigeon, but now I suspect it was actually a hawk.  At any rate, I chased the cat away and the hawk returned to finish its prey.  Later on in the day a female cooper’s took another pigeon which was subsequently taken from her by a raven, while I just observed.  Two major lessons from today were not to rely on assumptions and that life on earth can be brutal.  I spend a lot of very pleasant time each day wrapped in feelings of love.  I also need to realize that life on earth can be harsh.