Self-Care

We did a final "walk through" of our new house since the previous owners have now moved out. It is now time to have some work done and for us to do some work to make the house our own. This stage will involve switching the flooring in three rooms from carpet to wood (less dust!) and installing sturdy railings any place there are stairs, for my balance. There will be other jobs over time, "feathering the nest". This is a nice stage that feels like a gift - a pleasant place to live while we do the work of being of service to others.

My Issues

Two issues come to mind which occupied my thoughts today. The first is that, like it or not, I have a very close relationship with the force or entity I call God. That closeness causes my life to be very different from most people in that they can sense the love and knowingness which stems from that relationship. That closeness also carries the responsibility of acting accordingly. I identify strongly with Jesus and really like the comment by Borg that "Finally, the image of Jesus as a spirit person has implications for how we think of the Christian life. It shifts the focus of the Christian life from believing in Jesus or believing in God to being in relationship to the same spirit that Jesus knew. It is the claim that I emphasized at the end of chapter 1 and that will emerge yet again in this book: that the Christian life moves beyond believing in God to being in relationship to God." I am inviting everyone to have that relationship, not just Christians.

The other issue which occupied my thoughts is that I have as a result of my history been only minimally socialized, meaning I don’t do well in social situations and come across as rude or uncaring, at times. I am asking for help and guidance and doing my best.

Love 2

The topic for today’s recovery meeting was the importance of love and connection for healing, especially quitting illegal drugs or alcohol. Someone brought up that, for them, love had a sexual connotation. They were referring to what I call "country song love" which is not at all what I mean at all. I do mean truly wanting and being willing to support their emotional and spiritual development. Like I said yesterday, using the words of Williamson "Not a silly love. Not a childish love. But a powerful love, an awesome love so aligned with God that it will change all things." As I said in the meeting, the presence of that love promotes healing.

Love

My response when I encounter someone doing self-centered, destructive and/or illegal behavior is to love them anyway, truly wanting and being willing to support their emotional and spiritual development. I love them even if what they are doing is hurting me, which is, to me, the nature of unconditional love. My response often includes seeing that they are stopped and in some cases fined, jailed or prosecuted. In the words of Williamson "Not a silly love. Not a childish love. But a powerful love, an awesome love so aligned with God that it will change all things." In general people do not hurt other people unless they have been hurt in the past so hurting them more is not likely to help. Hurting them more will not "increase the integrity of the universe".

Spiritual Development

This morning I received an e-mail from my credit card company detailing their concerns that someone was fraudulently using my card number, which they were, so I discontinued the card. This was just another example of someone acting in a very self-centered manner at the expense of someone else. In the general sense of self-centered behavior at someone else’s expense, this type of behavior happens frequently. The point I wish to make is that their action is the natural consequence of their emotional and spiritual development, combined with the cultural milieu they were raised in. They need to be stopped and in some cases fined, jailed or prosecuted but they were also just doing their best. Altering the cultural milieu would also be a good idea.

Peace Amidst Chaos

I don’t normally watch the news on TV since I do not own one. I read the paper and listen to the radio just enough to have some idea of what is going on. In the place I am staying the news is frequently on the TV and the other news outlets are much more pronounced than I am used to. Consequently, I am much more aware of the chaos, anxiety and mindless violence in the world today. I feel a great peace inside, knowing that in an eternal sense everything is moving along just fine and that the chaos, anxiety and mindless violence are all transient, not meaningless but also not terribly important.

Being Human

This morning I attended a community acupuncture session and toward the end of the session a man who was in charge in some way gave a "speech" for several minutes. He talked primarily about the fact that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience and encouraging us to remember that fact and to act out of that higher energy state, never realizing that the very act of talking about it brought our energy down. He also promoted himself and the healing sessions he conducts. During his talk it was clear that he was quite proud of himself and the talk contained a lot of ego and spiritual materialism. I took away two important messages from the encounter. One lesson is that the world is full of that type and I just need to attend to my own affairs - that is none of my business unless asked. The other important message is that I have the same tendencies and to be careful!

Self Promotion and Being of Service

This morning I sent out my first query letter as a major part of my effort to obtain a literary agent. This action was remarkable in that I do not do well with self-promotion, preferring instead to stay quietly in the background while letting my actions speak for themselves. A query letter is all about promotion, an attempt to convince a potential agent that my book is a good one, that I am highly qualified and uniquely suited to write my book, all true. Until writing my book (Three Simple Questions: Being in the World, But Not of It) my effort was to change the world - one person at a time. This book is an effort to go beyond that, reaching many people. A literary agent could help me do that.

Restraint 2

Yesterday’s blog is a good example that I need to keep in mind that I know my way, what works for me and I frequently express it as such. I actually spend a fair amount of time daily to keep abreast of what is right for me and my life path. I do not know what is right for anyone else so my letting them know that they are doing things wrong makes no sense. Additionally, if I attempt to alter or control someone else’s behavior, I am likely to waste my energy, hurting them in the process.

Restraint

Today, during my recovery meeting one of the other members interrupted the person speaking in order to stop him and tell him that he was not following the rules. He did do it politely and carefully, even apologizing after the meeting. I have often been in a position to do the same and, at least recently, have decided not to impose my rigidity and ideas on someone else, that it would not "increase the integrity of the universe". My view is that what they say could help themselves or someone else, so I leave it alone. I do sometimes talk to them after the meeting so as not to appear the authority during the meeting.