Exception 2

As I commented a little less than a month ago, I am an "exception", physically, in that my present condition does not match my expected prognosis. I went to a new (for me) neurologist today who performed a variety of tests on my reflexes, strength, relaxation ability and muscular motor ability. He is not sure of a diagnosis since my results do not match any specific problem so he referred me to another neurologist for consultation and wants to do further testing. I will cooperate and I would also like him to realize that the unconditional love, relaxation, exercise, meditation and other practices have a genuine, measurable impact. I would like hin to start with my condition and learn from it rather than trying to fit my condition into his current thinking. It is clear to me that practices like unconditional love, relaxation and meditation have an impact on health.

Lesson

Today our bird feeding station was invaded and taken over by a flock of about thirty common grackles. They are large and aggressive birds so they kept our regular attendees from feeding. I noted that when I chased them away and they immediately came back that I became angry, a feeling I do not like. On the other hand, when I watched Maria, my wife, try to chase them away with exactly the same results, I felt fondness, amusement and understanding, feelings I much prefer. I notice the same pattern in my driving and other life activities. I am clearly better off not even participating in certain behaviors, particularly efforts o change something that will not change.

My Process

I get out of bed in the middle of the night, between midnight and 1:00 A,M., in order to pray and meditate, do some spiritual writing and reading. I generally return to bed around 3:00 or 4:00. That is when I write in this Blog, when I wrote most of my book and answer e-mails. That is the time when my connection to God/love is strongest and when there are fewer distractions. I never set my alarm - it just happens and is my favorite time of day. "When a peaceful silence lay over all, and the night had run half of her swift course, down from the heavens, from the royal throne, leapt your all powerful word." (book of Wisdom 18:14, 15)

Awareness

I am extremely grateful and astonished to find the feeling of peace, well being and unconditional love in everything I do and everywhere I turn. I realize now that the feeling was there all the time I just had to search and acknowledge. According to the gospels, when his disciples asked Jesus about the kingdom of God he said "What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it." He also said "The kingdom of God is not coming with signs that can be observed, nor will they say; ‘Look here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ for the kingdom of God is within you."

Meditation

During my meditation rather than focusing on my breathing in order to bring myself into the simplicity of the moment I focus on generating the feeling of love or spirit while also concentrating on the present. I begin the loving feeling with thoughts and images when the feeling of love was the strongest, even thinking of puppies and babies, then, using focus and intent, have the feeling grow. As with using my breath my mind tends to drift away and I then just bring it back without judgment. That feeling impacts everything that happens next, during meditation or the rest of the day.

Love

I have been asked by the spirits I work with to come up with some rules of conduct to live by. I came up with rules that reflect my understanding of the love I encounter when I meditate on the God/Love place. They are: 1. Love your brother as yourself.; 2. Love everybody and everything.; 3. Do not judge.; 4. Do not criticize.; 5. Never condemn. The guidance which is generally promoted in religion usually involves judgment, criticism and some form of condemnation, sometimes extreme. Judgment, criticism and condemnation are very human and ego driven, not from God/Love. I have been pleased to find that the love, understanding and compassion that Jesus taught includes the human tendencies toward judgment, criticism and condemnation.

Freedom

All of my life, in my work with individuals and groups, I have encouraged people to think for themselves and speak openly and honestly, even when their view went against the norm or was unpopular. A large part of my reasoning for that approach is that many people have discouraged that sort of free thinking in me with a negative impact on my growth and emotional inhibition - it did not feel good. I feel pressure to follow the norm and encourage the same in my clients but I do not do so. In my reading of Beyond Belief: The Secret Gospel of Thomas, by Elaine Pagels I am pleased to note through her and other sources that the historical Jesus also encouraged free thinking in the people he worked with, like his disciples. Unfortunately, religious teaching frequently tends to discourage free thinking. Freedom of thought is certainly emotionally complex (messy) but also more loving and supportive of growth.

Connection

During the Friend’s meeting this morning my main focus was beaming love at everyone, then after the meeting I talked with a group of friends. We had a wonderful strong, loving connection during which we talked of the mind-body connection, the humming of the universe, carpentry, healing and the fact that many dismiss or choose not to admit or understand much of what we were talking about. We were not judging others but supporting each other "We can cultivate an environment among us which will foster one another’s spiritual growth by directing and redirecting intention and attention to God; by discouraging what draws us away; by loving support for each other in the vicissitudes of our utterly human lives; by respecting and cherishing the uniqueness of each life." (Loring)

Connection

I have been reading Beyond Belief: The Secret Gospel of Thomas, by Elaine Pagels, a book that I recommend. I have a very close, mystical, connection with the force I call God. I’m not sure when my close connection began but it was certainly strengthened through my sweat lodge experiences. It was there that I learned to connect with the light, love and life in all things, a beautiful and moving experience. She comments that "According to Thomas, Jesus says that this primordial light not only brought the entire universe into being but still shines through everything we see and touch."

Bubble of Love

I walk around each day from within a "bubble of love", an overwhelming feeling of unconditional love, peace and well-being that I understand is the "kingdom of God". The feeling is also a "knowing" that everything is and always will be just fine. I act accordingly. I consider this feeling to be remarkable since I am getting old, a physical mess and fully aware of what we are doing to each other and destroying this planet. The feeling/knowing is a gift that comes to me through meditation and is totally unreasonable. In the event that I get momentarily distracted from the feeling, I pause and look inside to find it again. I find reassurance from the words that Jesus spoke as reported by Luke and others "The kingdom of God is not coming with signs that can be observed, nor will they say; ‘Look here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ for the kingdom of God is within you."