Solitude

For me, today was a day of solitude, quiet contemplation and peace. I was alone and stayed inside most of the day because of heat and bugs. I did very little, though I did exercise and worked with one person, briefly. I seem to need the silence in order to maintain my connection with God. I also had some whispers from my ego urging me to accomplish things and be more of a human doing rather than a human being. "  I had no trouble ignoring the urging!  It [inner silence] is to establish an inner peace, an inner harmony, which will allow us authentically to contribute to the establishment of an outer peace and an outer harmony in the world at large." (Daniel A. Seeger)

Spiritual Life

Overall I have done well at dealing with my disability, remaining cheerful, keeping my spiritual connection and relating to others for the last couple of days, with only one slip which lasted a couple of hours. Yesterday I went to the dentist for the first time in a few years which put me in a situation of dealing with my disability and age while also explaining several things to the dentist and hygienist. I was clear, upbeat and honest. They listened and asked me to repeat what they did not understand (a position I appreciate for its directness). Today we went to a wildlife sanctuary which was beautiful and physically challenging. Being in the presence of those natural life energies was wonderful. The biting insects were a nuisance. I met the challenge and enjoyed myself in the process. On the downside, yesterday I made an error in our finances and was emphatically sure I was right (I was not). I was stubborn, impatient and did poorly at explaining the situation to others a process which was aggravated by my not speaking well. Life goes on — time to meditate and be grateful! "For after all the beautiful and simple words have been spoken, it is still the pattern of that Life which compels attention: its obscure and humble birth; its education in poverty; its temptation, mortification, and solitude; its acts of compassion and service; its desolation at moments of apparent abandonment of the Divine; its painful death of the self; and its final absorption into the Source." (Daniel A. Seeger)

Mundane Activities

Today I spent most of the day making a big (4 gallon) batch of spaghetti sauce, also going to a recovery meeting, meditating and exercising. I make my own sauce and other meals since I like my own cooking and do not like all the additives and preservatives in "store bought" or processed food. The preparation and clean-up do take longer but feel right since they are true to me and more natural. I am also grateful for having the time and ability. On the one hand, the cooking and gardening or other mundane activities do not contribute much to the universe or eternity but the are a welcome relief from weightier activities.

Connection

When I get up for the first time each day around midnight I pray and meditate while feeling connected to the Presence I know as God. Then when I get up again around dawn, I go outside to walk around my yard and gardens saying good morning and feeling the loving connection to the plants. I put out food for the birds, feeling that connection. Today I also had the opportunity to connect with two people on the phone. I feel very connected to the life process, a wonderful and vital feeling. "I take the spiritual life to be a life of which aims to discover human wholeness, the integration of all aspects of our humanity - body, soul, mind, emotions - and the connection of the self to all of creation." (Paul A. Lacey)

Encountering Violence

Today I have been contemplating the frequent occurrence of violence in this world and how to reduce and eventually eliminate it. At the present time, I make use of the three questions that are the central focus of my book (The three questions are: would I do this in front of God (or whatever you call the power or force behind the Universe); is my name really on it (or is it really my responsibility); will this increase the integrity of the universe (or is this action motivated by love, rather than fear, acting out of love always increases the integrity of the universe). The three questions never lead me to violence. In the past I have encountered violence many times and, in my adult life, I have always used love, understanding and compassion to successfully diffuse it. I suspect that this method would not work in all situations with all people – I do not know. "We can cultivate an environment among us which will foster one another’s spiritual growth by directing and redirecting intention and attention to God; by discouraging what draws us away; by loving support for each other in the vicissitudes of our utterly human lives; by respecting and cherishing the uniqueness of each life." (Patricia Loring)

Harmony

This morning at the monthly Friend’s meeting for worship for business an issue came up which caused an interruption in the worshipful atmosphere. The issue was whether or not to allow a video camera to film of a brief instant of the event. The question did cause an interruption and it was decided to not allow the video since the use of the camera would also detract from the atmosphere, a sound decision. What occurred to me was it would be preferable to have the silent, loving, worshipful atmosphere be strong enough to withstand the blip. In my view, the issue was just another of life’s seemingly endless distractions from the potential peace and harmony of the moment and that it would be best to simply incorporate the blip into the love of the present. "It [inner silence] is to establish an inner peace, an inner harmony, which will allow us authentically to contribute to the establishment of an outer peace and an outer harmony in the world at large." (Daniel A. Seeger)

Balance

Today my activities felt balanced and harmonious, always keeping in mind the sacred nature of life. I exercised, had a good connection and conversation with one of the people I work with, meditated, mowed some lawn and relaxed by eating lunch and watching a movie. I have had some difficulty in maintaining a balance lately, either working too much or participating in too many distractions — neither felt right. "If you choose to center your life in Divine Radiance, two things can be pretty much guaranteed. One, life will not be as simple as it could be if you had chosen another way. The Spirit-centered life has little in common with ‘Business as usual.’  Two, there will never be a dull moment. You will see the colors of music, hear the songs of color and be blessed with magic people. A fair trade I'd say." (Joy Marsh)

Life

Today during meditation I heard "you are not worthy", specifically not worthy of my connection with God, the work I do with other people and the work I do with spirits, a message from my troubled and tumultuous past. This message which was strictly within myself was accompanied by an increase in joint and back pain. Not surprisingly, at almost seventy, I am tired of dealing with my past — sigh. In my meditation I acknowledged the feelings, felt them as strongly as I could (extremely unpleasant!) and let them pass, knowing they had no validity. After a brief increase in intensity, my pain lessened. Life is good, a bit weird but good. "He should learn to remain in God’s presence with a loving attention and a tranquil intellect", even though this seems like idleness to him. Soon he will find little by little that a "divine calm and peace with a wondrous, sublime knowledge of God, enveloped in divine love, will be infused into his soul". (St. John of the cross)

Discernment

I have encountered several statements saying that discernment (the ability to detect if received comments are of divine or other origin) is a gift from God and that most people cannot determine if a message is divine. I prayed for discernment many years ago and was granted the gift, but I know not how or why. I have likened a divine message as feeling like being bathed in a clear mountain stream. Other messages are "cloudy". The two feel very different. When I get a divine message it is usually simple and clear. If I give myself a message from intellect or ego it can be very convincing but never feels right, "Discernment is a gift from God, not as a personal achievement. The gift is not the result of training, technique, or analysis. Like other gifts of God, its origin is mysterious and gratuitous." (Patricia Loring)

Mystical Worship

Yesterday I wrote of my own "mystical worship" or worship (meditation in my case) where I experience the presence of God, a nightly practice of mine. Such a practice is only possible because of what I call the "God seed" within me, also called "that small quiet voice". I often connect with that part of a person when I work with them as a mentor or spiritual guide. I have come to realize that everyone has that seed and potential within them. That seed requires some practice, focus and discipline to make it grow and become stronger. "The very fact that such a mighty experience [mystical worship] as this is possible means that there is some inner meeting place between the soul and God; in other words, that the divine and human, God and man, are not wholly sundered." (Rufus Jones)