Focus

Today, in contrast to yesterday, I did well at maintaining my focus on "God, Love, healing and recovery" during my various activities. The difference between yesterday and today made me think of the comment by Gilbert Kilpack, that "one must travel much in the dark and be greatly sifted and tossed about is an inevitable step in the way of spiritual growth." During my exercise this morning I was able to keep focus on healing and harmony with the earth. Later in the day, during meditation, unlike yesterday, I kept my brain on "God, Love, healing and recovery" rather tan revisiting my monkey mind. Scattered through the day I was able to deal with the same car stuff I mentioned yesterday, without giving it much importance, reminding me of the comment by Thomas Dubay, S. M., that "A person is able to attend to the indwelling Trinity and yet carry on the ordinary business of daily life." I also relaxed for a while with an inspirational movie about a woman, love and her dog. It was a good day.

Meditation

Tonight I have been having difficulty keeping my focus on God, Love, healing and recovery during my meditation. My brain keeps drifting off into current events of my life and I keep noticing the wandering, not judging it and bringing my focus back. The current event that I am having trouble with is the situation with my car. We are not sure at this point but we may have to replace it. The various options vary, in cost, from hundreds up to $26,000, which captures my attention but it is also just material stuff and money, items of little importance. I wish to quiet the "clamoring" of my brain (monkey mind) which tends to give this topic more than it deserves!

Near-Death-Experience

When I had my Near-Death-Experience I could feel the Love of God and with that love was its strong "desire" (not the right word since it is human and God is more, but the best I can do) to create more love. The nature of love is that it creates more love, it spreads and increases. At that time I chose to come back to the living and be part of spreading that love, I felt I could do no less. That was a fine choice which has yielded incredible riches for me. I need to keep my focus on that choice or I slip back into my old ways, in spite of how harmonious it feels.

God's Love

I need to always to remember that "To be perfect in God’s eyes is to be my whole self" (Elizabeth Ostrander Sutton) and that God’s Love is very powerful, absolute and unconditional. I could feel all of that during my Near-Death-Experience and will never forget it — at least not for long. Like many of my fellow humans, I "have a history" and I am not totally free of my frailties in the present. I could feel that none of that made any difference, that reality did not diminish God’s Love in any way. The feeling was much stronger than anything of human origin.

Eternity

I was just meditating and when I do that I feel the Loving and powerful presence of God and I know that everything in the world is in divine order. Earlier in the day I was talking to someone about the rampant unethical practices that many business people employ and I was also reading in the Washington Post about some of the destructive practices and problems all over the world. Both are true. The first view being love based, eternal and the second being fear based, worldly. As a culture we have not "hit bottom" yet and decided to turn our behavior around. Personally, I have hit my bottom. I then decided to reverse my self-destructive, hurt, angry behavior and became more ethical, loving and service oriented. I am still working on it!

Holistic Healing

Five days ago I re-committed myself to further relaxing my jaw and since then I have focused on relaxing and done healing touch on my face, jaw, brain and upper spine. For some reason (possibly the relaxation), I have not bitten the inside of my cheek since then. I am aware that this is only the beginning of this effort and I wonder where it will lead. "But if I, as a physician, cure someone and aid him or her to become less vulnerable to that disease again, then I am a good doctor. But if I, as a doctor, cure someone, aid him or her to become less vulnerable to that disease, and help him or her to understand their place in the universe, then I am a healer." (Carl A. Hammerschlag, M.D.)

Spirits

Consciousness of the presence of spirits first happened for me back in 1994 and they have dramatically impacted my attitudes and actions since then. I serve as an example and now ask that they influence others similarly. Back in 1994 I did not believe in the presence of the spirit realm and would have dismissed any notion of it ---- so my first introduction came through a disreputable looking Native American who told me that the spirits came to him in dreams and that they wanted me to build a sweat lodge. He said they came to him rather than me because I would not listen. Four years later a Navajo family offered to build me a lodge which my wife and I conducted weekly for close to a decade. During the four years between my introduction to their presence and the construction of our lodge, I attended weekly sweat ceremonies and was visited by loving spirits that others could not see several times. I was also aware of some sort of negative entities which would leave me alone when I sent them love and asked them to leave. The difference was clear. "There are, says the saint (St. John), encounters with God such that the devil cannot possibly counterfeit them, nor can one’s imagination create them. Some are so indelibly imprinted in the center of one’s being that they can neither be described nor forgotten.

Spiritual Path

About thirty years ago, when I began to intentionally follow a spiritual path, I anticipated that following that path would consist of comfortably and joyfully encountering opportunities to grow and then doing so. I find instead that I feel "lost in a trackless desert" much of the time and that I keep encountering internal resistance. The resistance is there because spiritual growth often involves ego deflation, and my ego does not enjoy that. I also keep giving up worldly distraction like un-needed possessions or attachments. Just the same, I would have it no other way since the result are well worth it. "To get we must also give, to advance we must also surrender, to gain we must lose, to attain we must resign. From the nature of things life means choice and selection, and every positive choice negates all other possibilities." (Rufus Jones)

Spiritual Growth

I commented yesterday that " I am now in a position where I wish to relax my jaw more completely", meaning I now wish (plan?) to increase my physical recovery another step or two, with God’s guidance. I feel strongly that it is time and I will give my progress the effort and time which is needed. I am quite aware that using current medical knowledge what I just wrote is impossible and I have no clue as to why it is time. So tonight I feel in the dark and at a loss. I plan to keep deepening my spiritual connection anyway — where ever that takes me. "To resign one’s self to the fact that one must travel much in the dark and be greatly sifted and tossed about is an inevitable step in the way of spiritual growth." (Gilbert Kilpack)

Holistic Healing

In 2010 I was going through a period when I could not relax my jaw at all and it was in constant motion while awake and I even had to sleep in a position that held my jaw still. That is when I was diagnosed as having a jaw dystonia, which was quite a bit worse than it is today. I found that during deep meditation I could relax my jaw and I reasoned that I could carry that ability into when I was being active, my normal waking self. I mentioned this plan to my doctor and she said "most people cannot do that" and in response I thought "I can and I will". I am now in a position where I wish to relax my jaw more completely and I have realized that I can do so when I am meditating. There is part of me that thinks I cannot do that and another part that keeps repeating to myself "I can and I will". We shall see.