Importance of Love

There were a variety of activities that I took part in today, much like any other day, that meant little or nothing to me.  It was very much like Williamson says; “Meaning doesn’t lie in things. Meaning lies in us.  When we attach value to things that aren’t love—the money, the car, the house, the prestige—we are loving things that can’t love us back. We are searching for meaning in the meaningless. Money, of itself, means nothing. Material things, of themselves, mean nothing.  It’s not that they’re bad. It’s that they’re nothing.”  On the other hand, I had a good connection with a client and a strong, loving connection with my wife.  There, I found meaning and fulfillment.

Fear 2

As a result of meditating, exercise, service work, day-to-day activities and going to a recovery meeting, I feel good today, the fear has passed, like the vapor it was.  Knowing that the fear was meaningless and imaginary also helped.  I was able to connect with an addict in early recovery, very enjoyable.  I feel a great deal of gratitude, love and knowing that everything is just as it should be.

Fear

I received the edited manuscript of my book today, together with instructions on how to go through and check the manuscript.  Receiving it really shook me up and I began being fearful about completing the process; very humbling since I usually don’t react fearfully to anything.  I tried meditating on a feeling of peace and knowing that everything would be fine, which lasted a few minutes and then I found myself back in my fears.  It did not help that the instructions I received did not work.  Time to put the manuscript down and do something else for a while.

Choices

Earlier today I made a comment to someone about the fact that as humans, we make some very silly & sometimes extremely destructive choices, due to hurt and fear.  I have certainly made many such choices during my life.  Now I recognize those choices as part of the current human condition, along with the free will to express them.  Fortunately, in my case, when those choices were so destructive that they would have resulted in my death, I was prevented from carrying them out, sometimes in miraculous ways.  My choices today are an attempt to add to the amount of love in the world.

Discernment

Today, I was very aware that there is a big difference between someone who has a firm but theoretical concept of the loving presence of God versus someone who has a “knowing” of that presence.  I find that I have little patience for someone who has a theoretical knowledge, no matter how well presented.  I also find that I have a great deal of respect for the knowing, no matter how it is expressed, even when the words “God” or “love” are not used.  I believe that I can sense the difference, whether they agree with me or not.

Living a Life of Love

Several years ago, during my morning meditation, I would immerse myself in the feeling of the extreme/absolute unconditional love of God.  Then, when I came out of the meditation, the memory of that feeling would persist and affect all of my interactions during the day.  One day, when I came out of meditation, that feeling of extreme/absolute unconditional love persisted as my reality, not just as a memory.  When I asked how I could function in the world and continue to have that feeling, I was told “you’ll get used to it”.  That feeling has continued to be my reality and, as I commented to a friend this morning “I pretty much live there”.  I do slip from that feeling on occasion, getting absorbed by some obsessive, negative thought, and now miss the feeling when it is not there.  I think of myself as living in a “bubble of love” or being in partnership with God.  That way of being has changed my life dramatically.

Concept of God

Personally, I feel no need to personify or even understand the power or force I know as God or love, in any way, though I also do not object to anyone who attempts to do so.  That power or force has saved my life several times and performed, what I consider, miraculous actions.  I am with that power every day, and ask frequently for support and guidance, with positive results.  My devotion is total but my understanding is minimal.

Acceptance

The topic for today’s recovery meeting was “acceptance”.  When I spoke I mentioned the numerous things that I need to accept about myself, if I am to have a peaceful life, things like being an addict, disabled and having a speech impediment.  I spoke of the things I need to avoid doing and the challenges that I face daily.  I also mentioned that “I am a fairly remarkable and unique human being”, which is true but difficult to admit.  The same is also true of all other people, and acceptance of that fact, would be a good thing.

Taking Care of Business

A long day of taking care of logistical necessities, like staff meetings, balancing the check book, budget matters and paying bills, a “matter of fact” sort of a day.  As usual, the day began with a period of meditation followed by exercising.  It is important for me to take care of the things required by life.

Health & Healing

It pleases me to note that the “alternative medicine” portion of the medical community is beginning to look at the efficacy of some meditative techniques for health and healing of neurological problems, such as mine.  At this point, I am only aware of them looking at “mindful meditation”, not the extensive meditative techniques I use, but it’s a start.  I have made use of the mind-body connection, attitudinal healing and visualization along with basic mindful meditation for over twenty five years with very positive results.