Connection

I have been reading Beyond Belief: The Secret Gospel of Thomas, by Elaine Pagels, a book that I recommend. I have a very close, mystical, connection with the force I call God. I’m not sure when my close connection began but it was certainly strengthened through my sweat lodge experiences. It was there that I learned to connect with the light, love and life in all things, a beautiful and moving experience. She comments that "According to Thomas, Jesus says that this primordial light not only brought the entire universe into being but still shines through everything we see and touch."

Bubble of Love

I walk around each day from within a "bubble of love", an overwhelming feeling of unconditional love, peace and well-being that I understand is the "kingdom of God". The feeling is also a "knowing" that everything is and always will be just fine. I act accordingly. I consider this feeling to be remarkable since I am getting old, a physical mess and fully aware of what we are doing to each other and destroying this planet. The feeling/knowing is a gift that comes to me through meditation and is totally unreasonable. In the event that I get momentarily distracted from the feeling, I pause and look inside to find it again. I find reassurance from the words that Jesus spoke as reported by Luke and others "The kingdom of God is not coming with signs that can be observed, nor will they say; ‘Look here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ for the kingdom of God is within you."

Fruits Of The Spirit

As quoted in Spiritual Discernment: the context and goal of clearness committees, by Patricia Loring "The fruits of the Spirit have been translated as ‘love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control’" (Galatians 5:23 NJB). Meaning that having those qualities is a reliable indication of following the "right" or godly path. My life is full of those characteristics, in spite of my numerous physical challenges and getting older. I consider that a miracle and do everything I can to "pass it on". I also "beam" that feeling to everything and everybody I come in contact with - the least I can do having been given that gift. It’s a great life!

Life’s Events

Because of life’s events, which I am not at liberty to describe for reasons of confidentiality, I have been reflecting on how bad physically things used to be for me and that my condition was predicted to worsen and result in death. At my lowest point I discovered and began to use the power of unconditional love. That discovery through meditation and the ensuing years of enlightenment are described in my book - quite a process for me! I am reminded both of how difficult the journey has been and how wonderful the results are.

Self-care

Maria, my wife, and I have been talking about and acknowledging the fact that this last year of moving from AZ to MD and establishing our lives here has been extremely difficult. The shift has certainly been made easier by each of us belonging to our own recovery organizations and attending the Friends church. We are each tired so I took it easy today. Once again I did some weeding of the yard and straightening at the base of a our willow oak as well as other garden areas. I also exercised and rested. She and I purchased and watched a movie together last evening. The rest has been good and we needed it.

Gratitude

Right now it is storming outside and I can feel the power of nature as it thunders, flashes lightning, blows and pours - quite an experience of power and presence. The day has been a mix of feelings. I spent much of the day feeling pissy, out of balance and trying to figure out why, finally realizing that I needed more outside time to connect with the earth and plants, which I haven’t been doing much of in an effort to escape the heat. I went out in the yard to do some weeding and straightening. I ended up doing the weeding and straightening at the base of a large willow oak in our backyard. The activity was pleasing to me and I sensed that the oak appreciated it as well. I am back to feeling gratitude for what is, rather than disturbance for what is not.

Loving Action

I have been reading Healing The Heart Of Democracy: The Courage To Create a Politics Worthy of the Human Spirit, by Parker J. Palmer and feeling frustrated. He is good with words, language and stories. The book is well written and he uses the language well. The problem I keep running up against is that people have been using the same or similar words for some time and the political situation continues to worsen. As Rufus Jones says ".... We shall never succeed in stopping war until we have a human society permeated with persons who practice a way of life which removes and abolishes the grounds and occasions of war, and at the same time matures and ripens a spirit of mutual understanding and personal cooperation." Loving action of the type I suggest in my book could do it. Words are easy, action is not.

Balance

Tonight Maria, my wife, and I watched the movie "A Little Chaos", starring Kate Winslet and others. It was great fun to listen to the words and watch the behaviors during the various interactions - full of intrigue and innuendo and deeper meaning. Very entertaining and of no value other than the fun. Most of my time is directed toward my own recovery or that of others so it is good to relax. Of course, I also exercised, went to a recovery meeting, connected with others and did some cooking to balance out the day.

Perspective

I read the Washington Post or listen to the news and find what’s going on socially and politically disturbing on the one hand and just perfect (in the God sense) on the other. I am reminded repeatedly of the narcissism, self-centeredness and short-sightedness that one can readily see in very young children. From a loving, parental perspective those actions are charming and well meaning, all be it short-sighted and self-centered. From that perspective it is hard to be angry. That perspective is the godly perspective and the one I have most of the time. Unfortunately, some of those "children" are now in charge of this country and I am concerned about the impact on other members of this society.

Gratitude

I started out the day with some shopping, followed by a period of connecting with a good friend. I then spent most of the day in the kitchen preparing food, a simple activity that, like weeding, I can carry out while contemplating and feeling gratitude for my life. Because of such an experience I have always liked the comments of Kopp in his book Free Yourself of Everything: Radical Guidance in the Spirit of Zen and Christian Mysticism ;"Every moment and everything we do, think, or say should become a living experience of the divine being." He goes on to quote Meister Eckhart in saying "A man should receive God in all things and train his mind to keep God ever present in his mind, in his aims and in his love. Note how you regard God: keep the same attitude that you have in church or in your cell, and carry it with you in the crowd and in unrest and inequality.....In your acts you should have an equal mind and equal faith and equal love for your God.....If you were equal-minded in this way, then no man could keep you from having God ever present." I focused on love and gratitude while performing these activities, lifting them and myself up in the process.